Ruth's Return
by HR always live on
Summary: Ignoring S8, 9 and 10 completely. Ruth is trying to reunite herself with Harry. Finally complete.
1. Chapter 1

Malcolm put down the phone feeling torn halfway between relief and worry. But now he was worried about an entirely different thing than he had been an hour before. For the last three years he had been covertly trying to clear Ruth's name and now it was possible for her to come back into the country. He had been emailing her under the radar for a while and she wanted to come back home.

She didn't like living away from everything she'd ever known, even though she had done it for Harry. She had wanted to return to things the way they were, but they all knew that wouldn't happen. Harry had been aware of what Malcolm was working on bringing Ruth home but it was never mentioned between them. Which Malcolm privately thought was for the best.

Making sure that all the documentation was in place for a final time he called Ruth, on a phone which anyone could monitor. It wasn't necessary for her security any longer. "Hello?" her familiar voice said.

"Its your friend from London," Malcolm said.

"Hi," she repeated, wariness in her voice.

"Its safe," Malcolm reassured her. "You're safe."

"Safe as in no one's looking for me?" she asked, trying to stop her heart from leaping at the thought of going home. "Or safe as in I can come back to London?"

"Your flight could land in Heathrow tomorrow and there wouldn't be any problems," he said.

"Really?" she asked and he could hear the hope in her voice and knew that in spite of all his concerns this was the right thing to do.

"Yes," he said. "Mace has finally admitted that he was trying to frame H… someone in our section and you took the fall. The important people know you were innocent. You can come home. Not that I expect you to but you could even come back to Thames House if you wanted."

"Thank you Malcolm," she said sincerely. "I'll get the first flight out of Cyprus to London. You are one hundred per cent sure?"

"Absolutely. It'll be good to see you again Ruth," he added honestly.

"Thank you." Ruth sighed and he heard that over the line. "How is he?"

"He's fine," Malcolm said not wanting to linger on the unmentioned by name Harry Pearce.

"Okay. I'll use that passport you sent me last year. Its still good?"

"The best there is.," Malcolm said. " Trust me. I'll see you soon Ruth."  
>"Bye Malcolm." He put the phone down and mere seconds later he saw Harry emerge from his office.<p>

"Harry, I need to talk to you for a second," Malcolm said, not relishing the conversation about Ruth. A woman who's name seemed to make his eyes darken in unutterable sadness.

"Is it going to be quick Malcolm?" Harry asked pulling his gloves on. "I'm already late."

"You know what, forget it," Malcolm said. "You go, it'll keep."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked but it was only a gesture as he was already walking to the pods.

"Yes," Malcolm said as the pods whirred shut around Harry. Malcolm thought this was better. He'd at least have a chance at thinking over what he wanted to say to Harry. Because this was going to be more than a quick conversation.

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><p>Harry walked into the restaurant slightly out of breath. He scanned the tables and quickly saw who he was looking for. Walking over surely, the blonde woman stood up with a smile on her face.<p>

"Rose, I'm sorry I'm so unashamedly late," Harry said after giving her a greeting kiss on the lips. They both sat down and he was surprised that she was still smiling.

"I'm only on my first glass," she replied finishing off the wine in question. "You aren't that late." Harry felt relieved and appreciated her kindness in saying so. Across the table cloth he held her hand tightly and gave it a squeeze. She smiled as the waiter came over and Harry released her hand regretfully.

"Are you ready to order?

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><p><em>Just a short chapter to see if people are interested. I'm sure there will be eventual HR goodness, I just have no idea how I'm going to get there.<em>


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Malcolm knew he had to confront Harry and was not looking forward to the conversation but it had to be had. Looking around the grid, he was pleased that not many people were in. He knocked on Harry's office and opened the door.

"Harry, I really need a word with you," Malcolm said poking his head around the corner.

"What is it?" Harry asked easily as Malcolm sat opposite him.

"You know that Mace got arrested six months ago for some misdemeanor."

"Yes, I am aware of it. That was a satisfying day," Harry said honestly.

"Well the crimes pilled up and up, and in an interview he confessed that… that basically Ruth had been set up."

"Did he confess or did you persuade the DA to direst the questioning in a certain light?" Harry asked.

"Of course I did Harry, she never did anything wrong."

"I know," Harry said. "Is she coming home or is she happy where she is?"

"She's probably at an airport, if not actually on a flight to Heathrow by now. She was so unhappy and I hated seeing her like that."

Harry sighed. "I don't like to think of her unhappy," he admitted. "I had hoped that she would have moved on from here. From London, Thames House and terror."

"She can't move on Harry," Malcolm said. He didn't add what he was thinking. Namely that she is still in love with a man who lives a thousand miles away from her. From the rare occasions Harry came up in conversation over the years he knew it to be true.

"Does… When she's back in the city, will she want a job?" Harry asked already feeling he could do with a whiskey even though it was barely nine o'clock.

"I don't know," Malcolm said. He was treading warily but then he decided to throw caution to the wind and say what he was thinking anyway. "If she does I recommend to you that she works in our section. In spite of your personal history with her, and your… current relationship I don't think sliding her somewhere else will help anyone. Plus we need someone to clear up the mess Connie James left." Connie's betrayal still hurt Malcolm but after going through her terminal and breaking (Russian) encryption, her betrayal was worse than he expected. He had almost come to terms with it.

"You think I would just push her aside? After she risked everything for my freedom? What kind of man do you think I am Malcolm?"

"The kind who might be made short sighted by a beautiful blonde?" Malcolm dared.

"Be careful," Harry said in a stern tone but his face had lightened somewhat.

"I'm just letting you know," Malcolm said as he approached the door of Harry's office. "I thought if you saw her out of the blue it might come as a bit of a shock."

"Thank you," Harry said as the door shut. Once alone Harry took a moment to think. She was on her way back. She was on her way home. Opening his bottom desk drawer he took out a faded and slightly creased picture of her, the only one he had outside of her personnel file. She had been looking over the shoulder of the person taking the photo, her blue eyes still prominent. She had a small smile on her face as if seeing something that amused her. Or that she knew something no one else did which was more likely. He smiled as the photograph of her brought back irrepressible memories. How her hair was often lit up by the halo of her desk light. How her blue eyes always seemed to have an extra sparkle when she was looking at him.

He hadn't expected her to ever return to England so he had allowed himself to move on. He hadn't actively sought a relationship but when Rose had approached him at a political event he had been obliged to attend. She had been the plus one of a lower level politician who's path he never crossed professionally. James Lewis's sister she'd announced with a sparkle in her hazel eyes when Harry had hinted that as she wasn't his own personal guest maybe they shouldn't leave together. She was intelligent and beautiful and he thought that she was everything he'd been missing. Although not quite as intelligent and beautiful as the brunette in Cyprus but that was something he refused to dwell on. Things had developed from there. But she wasn't Ruth… "No stop that," he told himself. He couldn't think like that, he couldn't afford to.

Putting Ruth's photo away he unscrewed the top on a bottle of whisky. It was early but he didn't care. He needed it.

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><p>Ruth felt her whole body almost sink with relief. She was home. Currently in the back of a London taxi she was heading to an old dead drop she'd used just before getting on that boat. It had all her security passes for Thames House as well as a little money she'd managed to stash just before vanishing from London. She hoped it was still there. The taxi pulled up outside a derelict building and the driver turned warily to her. "Are you sure this is right miss?"<p>

"Yes, I'm sure," Ruth said handing over the money that had been displayed on the meter. "Thank you." Shutting the taxi door she walked around the back of the building, keeping half an eye out for a tail. Old habits die hard she had discovered. Counting the bricks she found the lose one. Ignoring the fact that it was completely covered in mud and dirt she bent down and pried it open. It hit the ground with a dull thud and leaning in, almost up to her elbow she found the sheaf of papers she wanted. Relieved they were still there she checked that her ID was still useful to her. It was, she saw with relief. At that moment she heard footsteps coming to a stop behind her. Cursing herself that she hadn't thought to bring a weapon with her, that she'd trusted Malcolm's judgement rather than her own she straightened up.

"Didn't think I'd see you again," Jo said with a glint in her eyes.

"You scared the life out of me," she breathed a hand over her heart, her face breaking into a happy smile. "How are you?" Ruth reached for the blonde and hugged her. It was good to see her friend. Jo let her go after a minute with a smile. "How did you know I'd be here?"

"Adam told me about this dead drop when Malcolm announced you had been spotted at Heathrow airport about an hour ago."

"I should have known I couldn't come into the country without the grid following me," Ruth said still smiling.

"Coffee?" Jo asked.

"Yes," Ruth said firmly, burying her papers in her bag.

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><p><em>I was going to end this chapter after Ruth's coffee with Jo but that isn't written yet. As you were all so wonderfully encouraging with your reviews thought I'd post this morning rather than leave you wondering. Hope its okay! <em>

_ _(Also I know Adam died in S7 but its my fic so I can do what I want with it. Hope no one minds the resurrection from the dead!)__


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Okay, so I've realised my mistake. I've called Harry's girl Rose, which I could easily get confused with Ros, so for the purposes of ease in this fic Ros doesn't exist. Hope this doesn't bother anyone. Thanks for the encouraging reviews, I'm writing as quick as I can. Also I'm working a lot until the third of January so I will update this as soon as possible. Now ends the long Authors Note.._

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><p>Ruth was cradling her coffee warming her hands up in a small café and Jo hadn't said a word since they'd entered. "How are you?" Ruth repeated.<p>

"Good," she said a faint smile on her face. "I should be asking you that. You're the one who's been on the run."

"Its good to be home," Ruth said sincerely. "How is everyone? Adam okay?"

"He's fine," Jo said. "Bit of a close shave with a bomb on Remembrance Sunday but other than that fine."

"Zaf?" Jo shook her head sadly. "Oh no," Ruth said to herself. "How?"

"Tortured to death by a group who captured Western spies and then sold them on," Jo said bluntly. Ruth closed her eyes at the images those words had conjured.

"And… Harry?" Ruth asked dreading the answer as well as wanting to know about him.

"He's actually the reason I wanted to talk to you before you turned up at Thames House," Jo said. "He's fine," she added at the horrified look on Ruth's face. "I promise he's fine. It's just… he has someone."

"Oh," Ruth said sadly, silently staring into her coffee cup as if that held the answers to all of life's problems. Much to her shame she felt tears starting to well and she brushed them aside roughly. "Right."

"He missed you, I don't want you to think otherwise but he never thought he'd see you again. And from things Malcolm hinted at, Harry hoped you'd move on and be happy."

"Its been three years without a word between us," Ruth said still not looking at Jo. "What did I expect? That he'd be waiting for me and living like a monk?" Jo stared at her silently with a knowing glint in her eye. "Well it would have been nice," she added and both women laughed lightly. "But my life never really goes according to the plan I set out in my mind. I'm sad that we got so close."

"I know you did," Jo said.

"How?"

"The look on your face before you left."

"What look?" Ruth asked genuinely curious.

"I don't know how to describe it," Jo said thoughtfully. "I always called it your Harry look."

"That's ridiculous," Ruth said firmly. "I don't have a Harry look."

"You do," Jo said taking a sip of her drink. "If it makes you feel any better, he has a Ruth look too."

"Don't be so… what do you mean a Ruth look?" she asked her curiosity getting the better of her. Jo laughed.

"You know after you left he locked himself in his office for forty eight hours straight and it was more than our lives were worth to disturb him. He was devastated."

"Unfortunately, I notice the past tense," Ruth said sadly.

"Don't take it like that," Jo said covering Ruth's hand gently. "He does miss you but I can't tell you more. These things you need to discuss with him."

"I know."

"Do you want to come back to the grid?" Jo asked genuinely curious.

"Of course I do," she replied. "I couldn't imagine working some place else. It… working there changed my life. I couldn't go anywhere else."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Jo said as her mobile buzzed.

"You have to go," Ruth surmised at the look on her face as she read the text message.

"Yeah sorry," Jo said standing up. "Do you need help with anything? Getting a flat?"

"No I'll be fine," Ruth said touched at her friends concern. "I'll be on the grid tomorrow to… have a word with him."

"Good," Jo said. "I'm happy you're safe." Ruth watched her friend leave and allowed the sadness to swallow her. Over the past three years she had stayed true to him, even though they had never really been in a proper relationship. It hadn't really occurred to her that he might have found someone else. She felt indescribably hurt and broken and she hadn't even laid eyes on him yet. She was prepared for it to hurt worse when she finally did. Paying for their coffee Ruth left the café and decided to focus on getting her life back together.

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><p>A few hours later Jo was called into Harry's office. "How is she?" Harry asked with no preliminary. Jo sat down with a sigh.<p>

"She's here and alive," Jo said. "Which is more than you expected."

"I meant…"

"I know what you meant," Jo said not really caring that she was speaking to her boss. It was more like colleagues at the moment. Almost like friends. Almost. "No she isn't happy Harry. She'll be here tomorrow."

"I never meant for this to happen," Harry said as if speaking to himself.

"Then tell her, don't talk to me about it." Jo stood up wanting to be excused and Harry let her go. The truth was he just needed to see Ruth. Knowing she was back in the country, in the city was driving him mad. He needed to see her. Suddenly he realised that he was late to see Rose again. Two nights running was not doing him any favours. Hurryingly shutting his computer down he left his office, wondering where Ruth was right now.

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><p>Later that night Harry stood looking out of his bedroom window, deep in contemplation. In twelve hours he would be seeing Ruth again and he had no idea how he was going to react or feel about her reappearance.<p>

"Harry what's wrong?" Rose's worried and sleepy voice said from the bed.

"I thought you were asleep," Harry said turning to her and for the first time since he had met her he felt guilty. Guilty for starting a relationship and especially guilty for sleeping with Rose tonight, especially less than a day before Ruth was back in his life once more.

"What is it?" she repeated, running a hand through her hair agitated. "I can tell you're holding something back."

"Someone's coming back to work tomorrow," Harry said slowly, considering every word before he spoke it. "I'm not sure how I'm going to feel when I see her."

"Her?" Rose questioned lightly as Harry got back into bed. "Is this the woman whose name you never mention to me but I always see your eyes darken whenever you think of her?"

"Yes," Harry admitted as Rose stroked his chest lightly.

"Harry… Do I need to be worried?" she asked, her fingers still tracing scars on his chest. Harry thought about it in the few seconds before he was obliged to reply. How could he tell this woman that there had been someone else he had thought about everyday of the last three years. That whenever he saw a brunette woman in profile his heart leapt, hoping against logic that when she turned it would be Ruth, but of course it never was. The disappointment when he realised that she wasn't even in the country. That he'd never see her again. But now that had changed and he was going to see her tomorrow. But instead of voicing this, he lied to Rose for the first time since he'd met her.

"No."

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><p><em>I promise there will be good HR times ahead, no matter how long it takes to get there. Next the reunion of our star crossed lovers...<em>


	4. Chapter 4

Ruth woke up early staring at her blank ceiling. That had been a wonderful dream, she thought to herself. Lying in Harry's arms as they… She shook her head to try and dispel those thoughts as they weren't going to happen. As she got dressed she couldn't help the fact that her mind seemed to conjure up images of Harry in bed with this mystery woman and it was torturing her.

"Oh God, stop it," she begged herself, running her hands over her face incredibly agitated. She had to stop this because she'd go crazy before she ever left her flat. Walking through to the bathroom she had a look in the mirror. Even though her mind and imagination were going through hell, she didn't look like it, she thought pleased. She actually looked like she'd had a good nights sleep. Pulling her coat on she made her way to Thames House, the grid and Harry.

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><p>Ruth was late. She sighed as she went through security because she had wanted to be early to avoid everyone else watching their reunion. Taking a breath she stepped into the pods and watched as Adam looked up at her with a smile. She didn't have it in her to smile, the nervousness from what she was about to do was eating at her.<p>

"Welcome back," Adam said, his boyish grin still the same as she remembered. Ruth nodded and then without realising it her gaze was drawn to Harry's office and the blinds were closed. She wondered if that was forward thinking on Harry's part knowing she'd be arriving today. Then she wondered if that was a tad self centred. Adam guessing what she wanted sat down at his desk pretending to be working. Malcolm, Jo and a new Asian looking man she didn't recognise were actually working. Jo and Malcolm both threw her smiles before getting drawn into their work again.

"I'm Tariq," the new guy said with a cheeky grin at the silence, knowing she was watching him.

"Hi," Ruth said blankly. Either they were recruiting for MI5 younger or she was getting older she thought sadly. Everyone was looking at their computer screens, fingers rushing across keyboards and she knew putting it off any longer wasn't going to do any good. Ignoring the very non- subtle stares she was getting from the team she went to Harry's office door. For a second she considered knocking but then changed her mind. Didn't want to break the habit of a lifetime she thought smiling to herself. The thought eased her nerves enough to turn the door handle and walk in.

Harry had been signing some paperwork and the pen froze on the paper as she came in. He hadn't been looking but no one had dared come into his office without knocking in three years so he knew who it would be. As well as that the room suddenly seemed airless, crackling with tension between the two of them, finally together in the same room as she shut the door. "I see you haven't learnt to knock in the last three years," he said his eyes still on the papers in front of him. She said nothing but stood in front of the desk waiting for his eyes to lift and focus on her. Which after long seconds they did, locking with her blue ones. No one spoke, they couldn't. In the silence she felt the weight of his gaze shift all over her, moving from her eyes to the curve of her cheek and down the contours of her neck. As his gaze moved further down her she suddenly felt grateful that that she had her coat on hiding her figure because the way he was looking at her was almost indecent. Jo's voice suddenly filled her mind. "He has someone." Ruth sat down and the moment between them was broken.

"How are you?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Okay, all things considered." The silence spread out between them. Someone had to say something so Ruth opened her mouth to say the first thing she could think of. "How are you?" she asked.

"Okay," he said mirroring her response. She saw the sparkle in his eyes and she smiled slightly. The tension had lessened slightly between them and both were grateful for the temporary relief. It didn't last long because, like a fool Harry said the one thing she didn't want to be reminded of. "I'm in a relationship with someone."

"I know," she said in a low voice, her eyes lowering to the desk. Harry felt like he wanted to kick himself. She needed to know and he had to be man enough to tell her himself but why did it hurt to admit that to her so damn much?

"Who told you?" Harry asked in a light voice that belied the seriousness of the conversation.

"Is that really what you want to talk about?" Ruth asked, her eyes focusing on his again. He felt surprised that the warm blue eyes he'd dreamed about had suddenly changed. They were like shards of ice at the moment and he hated himself for making her look like that, especially when looking at him. "What's her name?"

"Rose Lewis," Harry said, almost but not quite a whisper. He could see Ruth racking her brain to a link to anyone she recognised. Still sharp as ever he thought with a flash of pride in her abilities. Which he then thought was ridiculous. He shouldn't feel anything towards her, but he couldn't deny that he did. The way she looked as she had walked into his office, like so many times in his fantasies. Even more beautiful and beguiling than he had remembered. She had been in his office for less than five minutes and already he could feel himself softening towards her presence. He couldn't afford to do that because it wasn't fair for anyone.

"I'd like a job," Ruth said interrupting his silent musings about her right hand which was resting on his desk just within reach of him.

"I thought you might," he said with a smile. "You can start whenever you want. Today if you like."

"Tomorrow?" she asked. "I have to buy some things for my flat."

"Okay, I'll get the paperwork pushed through for you later today."

"Thank you." Ruth looked at him and knew her fantasies had been incorrect. He was much more desirable up close than she had imagined. And that dark smouldering look in his eyes as he watched her. He could see the half remembered look on her face. The look that had been shared between them for many late nights on the grid before Cotterdam happened. So without him being aware of it, he reached across his desk and the tips of his fingers touched hers. She removed her hand as if she'd been electrified, and her heart was beating as if it had been.

"I'll see you tomorrow Harry," she said briefly as she left his office. Harry closed his eyes knowing that had been a stupid thing to do. Stupid for so many reasons. Outside his office Ruth closed the door and felt a little breathless. She rubbed her fingers together where Harry had touched and then noticed that the entire grid was watching her reaction. As she looked up they all suddenly appeared remarkably busy. Surprising herself she didn't actually mind if the entire grid was talking about her. Saying her goodbyes to everyone she felt eyes in her back as the pod doors whirred around her.

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><p><em>Apologies if the meeting the team bit was rushed, I wanted to get to the main Harry event. Hope no one is disapointed.<em>


	5. Chapter 5

_I have been having the worst technical difficulties ever. This chapter has been eaten by my computer twice and I've had to rewrite it (while losing some lines I now can't remember) so frankly, if it follows any logic at all I'll be amazed. In spite of that I hope you like it._

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><p>That night Harry didn't see Rose. He used the too busy at work excuse and she was perfectly understanding which made the lie even more uncomfortable. He didn't know what to do, that is what it boiled down to, Harry thought as he parked his car outside his house late that night. He was about to unlock his door when he saw Rose standing on his doorstep. He smiled without really wanting to when she looked at him.<p>

"You sounded like you had a bad day," she said quietly as Harry unlocked the door and disarmed the alarm. He didn't trust Rose with the number and always did it himself. "I don't have to stay," she said as he collapsed in his kitchen chair. "I just wanted to see you."

"I'm not going to be decent company for anyone tonight," Harry said honestly. "I don't want to talk about it. I can't talk about it." But what he meant was _I can't talk about her._

"I know," she replied. "I'll go home. I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you."

"Thank you," Harry said, touched by her thoughtfulness. She squeezed his hand lightly and left, closing the door quietly behind her. "What the hell am I going to do?" he asked himself. He had no answer.

* * *

><p>The next morning Ruth arrived to the general hubbub which she'd have to get used to once again. Her eyes were magnetised to Harry's empty office.<p>

"He isn't here yet," Adam said seeing her gaze.

"I wasn't…"

"Yes you were," he said sitting down as she followed suit.

"Fine I was," she admitted as she switched her computer on. Twenty minutes later she wasn't happy. She'd done a search on Rose Lewis as soon as possible, wanting to know the enemy as it were. She was completely beautiful, Ruth couldn't deny that. And she had class too. She could see why Harry had gone for her in the first place. There wasn't anything untoward in her history either but she hadn't really expected that. Harry wasn't stupid.

"How is he?" she asked Adam. "Generally I mean."

"Good," Adam said thoughtfully. "He doesn't share a lot with anyone, you know that but I think he's doing well. He missed you."

"Jo said that too, I can't see it if I'm being honest."

"Jealousy doesn't suit you," Adam said without any malice at all, it was said with true and genuine concern for her.

"Believe me, I don't like feeling this way either," Ruth said shaking her head. "I can't compete with that." The last was said as if speaking to herself but Adam heard her.

"Trust me Ruth, there isn't any competition," Adam said honestly. "It just might take a little while for him to come to terms with it, that's all."

"You can be really nice when you want to you know."

"Stupidly charming," he said with a smile. "By the way Jo wants to go shopping with you later."

"She does?" Ruth asked.

"I do?" Jo said to Ruth's left. Both women looked at Adam waiting for an explanation.  
>"It's the annual security service ball next week," Adam said. Jo smirked annoyingly and Ruth waited for the other shoe to drop.<p>

"I'm not going," she said. "I haven't been working here longer than…" she looked at her watch. "Half an hour. I can't go."

"Of course you can," Adam said. "Go with me."

"Adam I can't," she said firmly.

"You're a hard woman to ask out," Adam said with a smile.

"Adam…"

"Give me one good reason why you won't come with me," Adam said and for the first time since this conversation started she realised he was serious.

"Because unlike your previous dates whom I seem to remember, there is zero chance of me sleeping with you at the end of the night."

Jo stifled a laugh with difficulty and Harry walked in at that very moment. They all turned to their computers including Ruth who suddenly felt like she was sitting under a bright spotlight.

* * *

><p>Harry turned up on the grid almost an hour late. He had suffered from a mishmash of dreams with two beautiful women in them and he felt very unsettled. It was a mark that everyone at work knew how much this was bothering him because he hadn't had one phone call from anyone there. Being late on Ruth's first day back hadn't been his intention either. By the time he walked in everyone was settled at work and it hardly looked as if Ruth had been away. She already looked right at home he thought with happiness.<p>

"Morning," he said generally to everyone before vanishing into his office. There was a large envelope in the middle of his desk. Slitting it open he was relieved that it was Ruth's papers and contract of employment. Knowing that everyone else would be curious, he called her desk phone and asked to see her for a minute. She debated knocking but then split the difference. She knocked once and opened the door at the same time.

"This is for you," Harry said. Sitting down she looked at the paperwork and smiled.

"I really am back then," she said almost wistfully. Picking up a pen from his desk she signed her name immediately.

"You don't want to read it first?" Harry asked.

"I don't need to," she said quietly, her eyes locking on his. "I trust you." Harry felt an unexplainable flood of warmth through him at that admission. "Anything else," she asked while her eyes seemed to be saying something else. They had lost the cold quality of the day before and were back to being the warm loving eyes he remembered.

"I think that's everything," Harry said. She got up and left his office, knowing that his eyes were following her every step of the way.


	6. Chapter 6

_As a new years treat and a thanks for the wonderful M rated suggestions for my other ongoing fic you keep sending me, here's the next little scene. I think in the next chapter Ruth *might* get her man..._

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><p>Ruth groaned with feeling as her doorbell rang. Looking at her alarm clock she was doubly annoyed as it was only six in the morning. Wrapping her brand new dressing gown around her she opened the still chained door a crack. Jo's smiling face appeared and Ruth let her in.<p>

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Ruth moaned sitting down on her sofa.

"Six," Jo said promptly and Ruth noticed that she was carrying a large bag.  
>"It's a Sunday Jo," Ruth said. She had only been back at work for two days but she enjoyed her Sunday lay ins. Usually.<p>

"I had to come around now because I'm going down to Dorset to visit my niece. I'm catching an early train," Jo said. "But before I go I have something for you." She handed the bag over to Ruth and she had a sneaking suspicion about what it contained. Pulling out the box she was even more convinced she was right. Opening the lid she pulled out a midnight blue floor length silk dress with a shimmer of clear beads on the bodice. Standing up she let it fall to the floor to get the full effect.

"I told you I'm not going," Ruth said but she was impressed by the dress. It weakened her convictions a little because it was genuinely beautiful.

"Go on," Jo said. "At the very least try it on."

"What about your train?" Ruth asked.

"I have ten minutes," Jo said. Knowing it would be quicker than arguing she took the dress into her bedroom and slipped into it. Jo did have an eye for dress sizes she thought as she pulled the side zip up and looked in the mirror. It fit her like a glove. The straps were barely there spaghetti straps and her arms were completely on show which made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Now that she was wearing it she noticed that the clear beads weren't clear at all. They reflected a pale blue light and she knew Jo had picked it because they matched her eyes.

"Stop analysing and show me how it looks," Jo shouted at her. Ignoring the fact that her hair was completely tangled she walked back in the living room and Jo looked her up and down.

"You're going," the blonde said surely. "When you look like that he won't be able to keep his hands off you."

"Who? Adam?" Ruth asked coyly with a smile, making Jo laugh.

"Don't insult my intelligence," she replied. "When is the next opportunity you'll get to see him outside of work?"

"I don't know," Ruth said walking in the dress and actually quite liking the way it moved with her movements.

"That bitch might have her claws dug into Harry firmly by next years ball," Jo said.

"Is she really a bitch?" Ruth asked curiously.

"I met her once," Jo said. "She's perfectly lovely," she admitted. "But we would all rather see him with you. And I think if Harry is honest to himself, he would rather it too."

"You're just saying that," Ruth said.

"Did you see the way his eyes wandered over your legs when you wore jeans to work yesterday?" Ruth flushed bright red. The truth was she'd spilled coffee over her skirt that morning and she had to find something else to wear in a hurry from her still minimal wardrobe. She hadn't liked wearing jeans but if what Jo was saying was true than Harry might have appreciated them. She had felt that she wasn't wearing "proper work attire" so she hadn't locked eyes with Harry once that day, feeling slightly embarrassed. She now wished she had.

"Have a safe trip," Ruth said wanting to end the conversation. Jo rolled her eyes and left with one parting shot.

"Don't forget to buy heels. I think two and a half inches will make you the perfect height for dancing with Harry later in the evening." The blonde disappeared before Ruth could reply which was just as well because she had no idea what to say.

* * *

><p>But later that afternoon she called Adam to ask if the offer still stood to take her on Friday night. He said absolutely with a hint of surprise and Ruth disconnected the call quite happily, all the while nervous about Harry's reaction to her appearance. During the call she kept her new blue heels clutched in her hand. The perfect two and a half inch height.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

It was Friday afternoon and Rose looked at her dress and bit her lip. Harry had asked her to go with him to this security ball a while ago. She had been told the outlines of what he did for a living but they had both agreed that the less she knew the better. She sighed. She didn't want to go with him tonight because the far away looks he had been wearing for the past week were starting to grate on her. She knew it was this employee of his and she had a feeling the relationship wasn't exactly over.

Ruth. He had dropped her name by accident two nights ago when they were sharing dinner. Rose hadn't mentioned it but it hurt. The sting of her name was there. And as they worked together she had no reason to doubt that this unknown quantity, Ruth, would be there. The dress she had been planning to wear seemed inappropriate somehow. It was knee length and a pale pink colour that she usually liked and it shimmered when she moved. All of a sudden it just seemed wrong. She knew it was the wrong choice but with Harry's distance towards her lately she felt that anything would be the wrong choice. Shaking her head she got into the shower to wash her hair and prepare herself for the evening ahead.

* * *

><p>Ruth shut down her computer for the day, feeling relieved that she had time to get home and get dressed properly. The week had been relatively uneventful, Harry wise. They had only talked about work and there hadn't been more than the usual undercurrent of emotion between them. It hadn't taken her long to get used to it again, she thought wryly.<p>

As she walked past Adams desk he stopped her for a minute. "You haven't changed your mind?"

"Why would I?" Ruth asked. Adam stayed silent so she voiced something that had been bothering her. "Does he know I'm coming tonight?"

"My date for the evening is so obsessed with another man," Adam said shaking his head. "I don't know whether to be insulted or disappointed."

"Adam…"

"No, he doesn't know," Adam replied. "I could slip it in to conversation if you like?"

"No don't bother," she said surely buttoning up her coat. "I'll see you in a couple of hours?"

"Yes you will," he replied and watched her go with a smile. As the pods whirred around her he turned back to Harry's office and saw his eyes follow Ruth until she was out of sight. Locking his computer, Adam privately thought it would be a miracle if Harry didn't go home with Ruth that night.

* * *

><p>Ruth looked in her bathroom mirror for the fiftieth time. She had her hair up and a few wisps kept falling down. She had spent a good twenty minutes pinning them back when she changed her mind and decided she liked the way the loose tendrils framed her face. She had just applied her perfume when the doorbell rang. Picking up her bag which she'd bought with the shoes she answered it. Adam stood there with his usual boyish grin and looked her up and down slowly.<p>

"You look incredible," he said honestly.

"Thank you," Ruth replied, feeling slightly flustered with the attention. "You don't look half bad yourself." He wore a pristine suit and looked very dapper. He would have been breathtaking if her mind hadn't been focused on another man instead.

The taxi ride to the ball was very quiet and Adam knew she was nervous. This was the first time she was going to see the mysterious Rose in the flesh. "He loves you, you know?" Adam said as the taxi drew to a stop.

"Then why is he with someone else?" Ruth asked sadly.

"Because he is a decent man," Adam said quietly as he walked them up to the entrance. "He doesn't want to treat her badly, that's why. Adam Carter and Ruth Evershed," he added to the doorman who checked them in. Ruth looked around the very impressive ballroom as Adam went to get her a drink. She wasn't concentrating on the door waiting for Harry's arrival, not at all. Like hell she wasn't.

* * *

><p>As Harry walked into the ballroom holding Rose's hand loosely he was looking for people he recognised, not Ruth, he told himself. No not at all. Disturbing his surreptitious viewing he saw Adam walking quickly across the room, two glasses of champagne in his hands. Adam hadn't seen him and Harry watched as he handed a drink over to a brunette who had her back to him. It couldn't be, he thought to himself. It couldn't be <em>his<em> Ruth, she had never once worn a dress like that. A midnight blue silk dress that clung to her curves wonderfully but the curve of her neck made it clear it was definitely her. He had stared at that neck many times on the grid as she leaned over her work. Go on, turn around he found himself silently begging. She did and he saw her face in profile and her whole being seemed to sparkle. She had a smile on her face that he hadn't seen in years as she took a sip of champagne that Adam had given her. Then she turned to face him and her eyes looked at him, taking in his appearance for a few seconds. He stayed stock still as she did this and then she turned back to Adam, replying to something he couldn't hear.

"Would you like a drink?" Harry asked Rose who hadn't been completely oblivious to Harry's wandering eyes. She nodded and they both went over to the bar.

* * *

><p>About an hour later Harry felt the most painful unrelenting waves of jealousy going through him. Ruth was dancing with Adam and her face was more animated than he had seen her in three years. He knew what he was going to have to do. Taking Rose's hand he lead her outside the main ballroom. "I need to talk to you," he said.<p>

"You don't need to say a word," Rose said sadly. "You're ending this aren't you?"

"I'm sorry."

"The looks she keeps throwing at you wouldn't worry me in the slightest if you didn't return them. But you do."

"Who?"

"The beautiful woman in the blue dress," Rose said. "I think you mentioned that her name is Ruth. You only didn't leave me when she first returned because you are too much of a good man. Am I close?"

"You deserve someone so much better than me," Harry said honestly. "Someone who knows how lucky they are to have you."

"I'm a nice person," she said simply, not conceited. "You know I am, but I recognise that in this particular… "love story" I'm the bad guy and I keep getting in the way between the two of you."

"It doesn't matter if she doesn't care for me the way I care for her," Harry said thoughtfully. "She just means so much to me, and I'm sorry if that hurts you."

"Goodbye Harry," she said sincerely. She leant closer to him and planted a farewell kiss on his cheek.

"I'll get you a taxi," Harry said.

"I can make my own way home," she said with a smile. "Just promise me that you won't let her get away." Harry watched as Rose left the building and walked down the steps. He had known from the second he saw Ruth tonight that his feelings for her would never fade with time or even diminish at all. If anything they grew stronger with the separation between them. He turned back into the hall and made a beeline for Ruth, still dancing with Adam.

* * *

><p><em>I hope this satisfies some curiosity. The next chapter will have a HR dance and Rose will not be appearing again. Although the arsenic and cyanide poisoning suggestions by my wonderful reviewers did make me laugh!<em>


	8. Chapter 8

_Won't keep you in suspense too long. Still having a few computer problems so thought I'd post before the whole thing deletes itself. Definitely one chapter to go after this one. Enjoy!_

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><p>Ruth had her hands on Adam's shoulders and they were taking about Wes who seemed to be just as intelligent as both of his parents. Adam seemed to be dreading the teenage years which were fast approaching. "Seems someone's coming to your rescue," Adam whispered just loud enough for her to hear. Her eyes froze not looking at anyone in particular and she could feel Harry's presence at her back. Adam turned her slightly so they could both see Harry.<p>

"Mind if I cut in?" Harry asked, his eyes on fire as he looked at Adam, not daring to cast his eyes over Ruth. Not yet. Adam decided to tease him a bit more as he felt Ruth's fingers grip him harder.

"I do mind actually," Adam said. "I'm rather enjoying dancing with the most beautiful woman in the room."

"If you're not careful I might sack you," Harry said with a growl.

"That's the second time you've threatened that over Ruth, I'm beginning to take it personally," Adam said rather enjoying this.

"Adam…"

"Stop it," Ruth said, speaking for the first time. Her hands slid from Adam's shoulders and he walked away, knowing that Ruth was in perfectly safe hands. As she faced him Harry was given a new found appreciation for her dress. He looked her up and down and adored the way she looked in it. Plus it clung to hr upper body just fabulously.

"Are you going to talk to me or just continue staring?" Ruth asked fingering her slim silver necklace anxiously. She wasn't used to men looking at her like that, especially Harry.

"I'm sorry," he lied. "I… have never seen you look quite as breathtaking as this before." She was silent and he bumbled on. "Not to say you aren't usually. I mean you always look beautiful… oh to hell with it. Would you like to dance with me?" She smiled and he loved the way it lit up her face.

"What about Rose?" she asked while half of her brain wanted to kick herself._ Stop asking about Rose! Dance with the man of your dreams you idiot!_

"What about her?" Harry asked. He had a slight questioning look on his face, still unsure but slowly pulled her into his arms. The orchestra was playing a slow song even as her heart was pounding at three times its normal rate. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she could feel the heat of him under her palms as they swayed. "There is no Rose," he said in his seductive purr she remembered so well from before Cotterdam. "Not anymore."

"What happened?" she asked in a low voice as her eyes locked on his.

"I met a woman six years ago and without quite knowing how she did it, she stole my heart. One day I was here, hard hearted as ever then I couldn't wake up without thinking of her. Her blue eyes that had an extra sparkle, the way she was the only one who could ever get away with gently correcting me." Ruth felt her heart twist at his words as his hands slid slightly suggestively over the silk covering her waist.

"She sounds quite an impressive woman," Ruth said her eyes twinkling. "Wonder why I don't know her?"

"She is impressive," Harry continued, pleased that she was teasing him lightly. "She also wears particularly irresistible blue silk dresses."

"She seems to have swept you clean away," Ruth said one hand moving up to behind his neck. "What's keeping you apart?"

"She was taken away from me for three years," Harry said. "Three horribly long years which I hated. Agony. But now she's reappeared I won't be letting history repeat itself again."

"Really?" she asked, the hesitancy clear in her manner even as her fingers started moving sensationally on the back of his neck.

"I'd rather die than lose her again," he said honestly.

"Lets hope it never comes to that," she said her eyes twinkling.

"Right now, this woman is very close to me," Harry said. "And as long as she doesn't object, I am going to kiss her right now." The smile on her face was all the confirmation he needed. He reached for her lips and caressed them with his own lightly, catching her bottom lip between his as they shared their first kiss of three years. She felt his hands slide up her back as he pulled her in closer, ignoring the fact that they were in a very public place. He stopped with difficulty when the song came to an end. Her eyes popped open once again and with her kiss swollen lips she looked completely irresistible. He found it difficult not to lean in again but he wouldn't push her. He couldn't. As faster music came to their ears they removed themselves from the floor, hand in hand and left the ballroom by unspoken agreement. Adam watched the pair of them and smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

They left the building by the back exit and had a walk around the grounds, hands touching, fingers grazing over bare skin. How long had she wanted to do this? For now this simple touch of hands was more than enough for her. The weather outside wasn't too cold, it was fresh and if it wasn't for the distant noise of traffic she could almost forget she was in London. They came to a stop in the shadow of a large oak tree and he turned to her with a smile.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Just looking at how beautiful you are," he said in a murmur, making her flush.

"The moon isn't out," she said practically. "You can barely see me."

"How wonderfully unromantic," he said and she could see a smile spread out on his face even in the shadows. A breeze rippled through the leaves of the trees and Ruth involuntary shivered, her velvet wrap still inside. Before she could say a word Harry had taken his jacket off and wrapped it around her, covering her bare arms. She felt instantly warmed by it, but because she could smell his aftershave rather than the extra layer of fabric.

"Thank you," she said sincerely pulling his jacket closer. "What about you?"

"I think I'm still warm from our earlier kiss," he said and he knew she was blushing. "Why did you come here tonight?" he asked genuinely curious. There was a long pause before she replied.

"Because I knew you'd be here," she eventually admitted. "We can count the number of occasions we've seen each other outside of work on one hand. You could say it was a golden opportunity."

"I'm glad you did," he added when she stopped speaking. He reached for her and his arms wrapped around her clutching against the small of her back. His breathing was whispering over her face, so close were they standing to each other. He waited for her to make the next move which she did painfully slowly. Her palm settled on his chest, not pushing him away, simply feeling the heat of his skin through the pristine white shirt. He stayed still, letting her do what she wanted. Her hand rose slightly and he could tell from the angle of her head that she was watching its progress up to his shoulder and then across to the collar. Once there the other hand joined and carefully loosened his tie slightly and undid the top button. Harry had never found any small exploratory touch this erotic in his life before. Her fingers dipped inside the shirt and pressed lightly against his skin, feeling his pulse which was a thundering quick beat. He let go of her back and held her questing fingertips in his own, stopping their progress.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be," he replied sincerely. "I just wanted to do this." He caught her lips in a fierce embrace, with the security of knowing no one was watching them. Tongues started dancing against each other as breathing became increasingly difficult. When they eventually, reluctantly parted from each other he was surprised to find his left hand cupping her breast. Relishing the touch and her softness and warmth for only half a second more he dropped his arm quickly.

"Sorry," he said thinking that she would be slightly embarrassed that he had touched her so intimately so quickly.

"Don't be," she said with a smile, mirroring his words of two minutes before. She ran a hand through her hair and wasn't that surprised that it had all fallen down.

"I think I should take you home," he murmured. "I've shaken hands with all the people I need to. Unless you want to stay until the bitter end?"

"No," she said with a smile. "I think going home sounds perfect." Walking back into the building she felt a thrill as he wrapped his arm around her waist. This evening had definitely been the turning point for herself and Harry, and now there was no turning back.

* * *

><p><em>I really don't like the end but thought I'd post anyway. I'm now working on some of the M rated suggestions so you'll see them soon. xxx<em>


	10. Chapter 10

_A tiny little update because I don't really know how to finish it! Massive thanks to all those who've stuck with it, and especially those who have been faithfully reviewing._

* * *

><p>The taxi ride to Ruth's flat was silent and uncomfortable. The fact that they were both trapped in a small space and unable to break the tension was making both of them nervous. After ten minutes or so Harry reached across the seat and held Ruth's hand lightly. She squeezed his palm back as their fingers ran over each others skin. By the time the taxi stopped outside her flat they both felt more comfortable even though neither had said a single word. Ruth felt a rush of disappointment flood over her when Harry handed over an extra twenty pound note on top of the fare and asked the cab driver to wait for him. She realised that she had been hoping that her evening wouldn't quite end here, but she schooled her face so Harry couldn't read the massive let down she felt.<p>

He lead her up a flight of stairs and she stood outside her flat. "There isn't much here," she said embarrassed. "I haven't bought much yet, but you're welcome to come in if you like."

"I am going to be a perfect gentleman and leave you at your door," Harry said. "With a final kiss goodnight." He leaned in and she closed her eyes the second their lips touched. It was a slow sweet kiss which left her breathless. "I have a number for you," he added when the flush had mostly faded from her face.

"I already have your number," Ruth said blankly, not knowing where he was going. He let out a laugh as he took a pen from his jacket pocket and scribbled a ten digit number on a scrap of paper.

"There's a storage unit down Hadley road in south west London," he said quietly. "When you left three years ago, I couldn't bear to see your things just taken away and lost forever. So in the vain hope that one day you'd be back here, I had them stored for you. That's the number to get them back."

"Why on earth would you do that?" she said, marvelling that he had done something so thoughtful for her when their was every chance she'd never have set foot in the country ever again.

"I couldn't live with the thought that I'd never see you again," he said quietly. "I wanted to have some belief that you'd be back. So I kept your things."

"Thank you," she said in a quiet whisper. "That means a lot to me. Are you sure you don't want to come in?" He knew the meaning behind that question as she waited, breathing quick. He so desperately wanted to hold her in his arms as he pulled that dress off of her tempting and waiting body.

"I do badly want to," he admitted. "But I won't. I'll see you Monday."

"Mm," she agreed, her eyes sparkling. "Goodnight Harry." Without her stopping to process it, he lifted her hand and kissed the back of it before vanishing. She had always thought that incredibly old fashioned, but when he did it to her… well, it made her heart beat just that little bit quicker. She closed the door, number to her storage unit held tightly in her hand.

Harry got outside to see the cab pulling away. "Wait!" he shouted, arm up in the air. The taxi ground to a halt and Harry got in the back. "What are you doing? I asked you to wait," Harry said furiously as they started off again.

"I didn't think you were coming back," the driver said.

"What would make you think that?" Harry asked. The driver sighed.

"Listen mate, I am telling you that she didn't want to say goodnight to you. She wanted you to stay with her all night long."

"You don't know what you're talking about, you don't know her," Harry said incredulously, wondering if thoughts like this really had crossed her mind.

"I have been a cabbie for twenty years," the driver said. "Even if you can't read her body language, I know what she wanted."

"Shut up and drive," Harry said curtly, in an icy voice that belied how heavy his heart was beating.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry looked at his watch and started to worry. It was ten past nine and Ruth was late. She was never late. He thought they had had a delightful evening together on Friday but her silence in the past two days combined with the cab drivers loud thoughts were worrying him. He wondered if it would be too out of place to give her a call. He spent a further five minutes debating it before he picked up his office phone and dialled her mobile.

"Yes?" her voice said breathlessly.

"Hi, its me," he started, unable to believe quite how nervous he was. Ridiculous, he thought to himself. "I just wondered where you are? You're not normally late."

"I know, my usual intelligence suffered from a fatal flaw," she said quickly. "It didn't occur to me that my alarm clock might need a new battery after spending three years in storage. My own stupid fault."

"You found your things okay then?" he said, fighting the wave of relief he felt to know that she wasn't avoiding him.

"Yes, everything was there," she said happily. "Including a photo album I've had since I was six. Never thought I'd see that again."

"I'm glad," he said. "Don't worry about getting in to work. Take your time."

"I'll be there as soon as possible," she said.

"I know you will," he said, imagining her rummaging through her things, trying to find some clothes to wear. Which brought up the rather tempting image of her just in her underwear, distracting him enough from saying anything else.

"Oh and Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I had a really good time on Friday night," she said and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Good, I had a wonderful dance partner," he replied, a light tease in his voice. He then voiced the thing that he really wanted to say in person but as she had brought up the subject of them, he decided to say it. "Ruth, I wanted to ask you something. Are you going to worry about… office gossip. If anything further happens between us I mean. I don't want… I don't want that to happen again. I couldn't lose you again."

"Stop worrying," she said cutting his rambling. Jo and Adam were both desperate for me to go to the ball last week because we all knew you'd be there, Malcolm already knows and from what I know about Tariq, he won't care. I don't think there's anything they can say that'll bother me. I'm not as easily swayed as I used to be. I've had to survive on my own for years, it doesn't matter what others say about us anymore."

"I'm relieved to hear that from you," he said sincerely. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye Harry." He put the phone down and felt a huge wave of relief. He had needed to hear that from her. Without giving himself too long to think about it, he picked up the phone and called a restaurant he hadn't set foot in in three years. He was going to book a table for them both tonight.

* * *

><p>On the way to work Ruth had been considering what Harry had said. There was no way on earth that Ruth was going to let harmless gossip come between herself and Harry again, she simply had to prove it to him.<p>

Ruth came on the grid, slightly out of breath to see everyone busy working, but not as busy as when they were suffering from a national crisis. She pulled her coat off and sat down as Adam walked over.

"I'm disappointed in you Ruth," he said with a tease in his eye.

"Fine I'll bite, why Adam?" she asked switching her computer on and waiting for it to boot up.

"I bring you to a wonderfully beautiful event and you go home with another man," he said tutting her. "I was devastated."

"Firstly, I didn't go home with anyone," Ruth said making Jo look downcast with disappointment. "Secondly, wasn't that the reason you brought me in the first place? And finally, the anorexic redhead from 6 you took home with you should have been more than ample compensation to my disappearance."

"Didn't realise you'd seen that," Adam said bashfully as Jo and Tariq laughed. Adam decided to change the conversation topic slightly. "Manage to get in late this morning instead though?"

"In case you're all imagining myself having a torrid affair with Harry, it was something as boring as a dead battery in my alarm clock," Ruth said to the room at large. Jo in particular looked disappointed. Ruth logged in and started work as her friends lost interest in her night out. It took five minutes for Harry to emerge from his office and make a beeline for her. She smiled as he did so, it was good to see him after two days without him. He leant over her shoulder and whispered to her, too quietly for anyone else to hear.

"Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" his breath reverberating through her ear with how close he stood.

"Yes, I'd like that," she replied honestly.

"Good," he said. "I have a table booked for eight. it's at that restaurant we went to together three years ago, at Chez Gérard if that's okay?"

"Already booked again," she said with a smile, turning her chair around and not really caring that they were attracting stares from the rest of the grid. "You are an overconfident man."

"You can always say no if I'm terribly overbearing," he said with a hint of nervousness. She reassured him quickly.

"Of course I won't say no," she said. "I do want to ask you though, did you ever take Rose there?"

"I couldn't," he said sincerely. "That restaurant was ours. Always." She nodded and he walked a couple of steps away from her when she stood up and turned to him. Without a word she put a hand on his chest and reached up to kiss him, her other hand on his neck pulling him close. It took him about a minute to pull away because he was enjoying their embrace far too much. For a relatively public place anyway.

"No one else matters," she said quietly, knowing they were being watched. Her hand stroked his face lovingly before she got back to work, leaving the usually sure and steady Harry Pearce completely dumbstruck.

* * *

><p><em>Still no ending in sight but I'll keep going as long as people want it.<em>


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of the day Harry spent remembering the feel of her lips on his and revelling in the fact that she seemed to not care about whatever gossip they may be inspiring. At five Ruth knocked on his office door, appearing at the same instant. "Do you want me to do anything before I go home?" she asked in a low voice.

"No," he said quietly. "I'll pick you up in a couple of hours," he added, a hint of a question in his voice.

"Yes," she agreed, a smile showing itself on her face. "See you later." She closed the office door and Harry watched her walk across the grid, switch her computer off and then leave through the pods. It took Harry about ten minutes to realise that he wasn't going to make it to dinner that night.

* * *

><p>Ruth opened her front door and threw her keys on the table as her mobile phone rang. Checking who it was she smiled when she saw it was Harry's number. "I've only been away from you for twenty minutes," she said as she answered.<p>

"Look, I'm really sorry Ruth," Harry said and she felt her heart sink to the floor. "There's a suspected and credible bomb threat in Waterloo station right at rush hour. I can't leave, and… I'd like your help. If you don't want to kill me for ruining our date that is."

"Of course," she said with a sigh. "Everything was running far too smoothly for us wasn't it?"

"I am sorry, and I promise I'll make it up to you," Harry said, sounding genuinely sincere.

"It isn't your fault," she said shrugging her coat back on one handed. "I know how these things are as well as you do. I'll be back in soon.

"You never know, by the time you get here Adam might have played the hero and there'll be no need," he said, trying desperately to stay light.

"Mm," she said unconvinced. "Then we'll have a group of crazed terrorist bombers to catch rather than a hundred deaths on our conscience."

"There's the positive attitude I've been missing all these years," he said quietly making her laugh. "It'll be a long night."

"I know," she said. "I'll be in as soon as I can."

"Bye Ruth," he said, hanging up. She shivered slightly with the way he said her name. No one else said it quite the way he did. Bringing herself back to reality she was about to leave when she had a thought. Hurrying into her bathroom she had a look at her face and decided that an extra lashing of mascara couldn't hurt. Giving her hair a quick brush, she left and returned to Thames House as fast as possible.

* * *

><p>When she got there she was amazed at the lack of activity. Usually in the middle of a crisis it was so hectic you could hardly breathe, or had things mellowed while she'd been in Cyprus?<p>

"Glad you're here," Harry said as he emerged from his office.

"Where is everyone?" Ruth asked. "If I didn't know you better, I'd say this might be an elaborate ploy to get me alone." Ruth turned as she heard cough and saw that Malcolm was actually still there in the distance, typing away, lit up in the glow of his computer.

"Jo and Adam are at the scene, helping the evacuation attempts and Adam has just disarmed the bomb."

"Never far from danger is he," Ruth said to herself. "Tariq?"

"Apparently some computer nonsense I don't understand means information about the bombers can only be got by hacking in on site, where the bomb was discovered. No idea how that works but I wasn't arguing with Tariq or Malcolm on that one. He's gathering the data now."

"What do you want from me?" Ruth asked. Harry stared at her with a raised eyebrow and she then realised how suggestive that sounded and flushed. "I meant, what can I do to help?"

"Tariq's sending through images of the bombers soon. I want you to help Malcolm track them down and look into details of their backgrounds, any information that can help us catch them. Whether this is religious insanity or just a group of crazed youngsters."

"Such a diplomatic way of putting things," Ruth said sitting down across from Malcolm as a jumble of information got sent to her terminal. She focused on her computer screen and didn't realise Harry was a few inches behind her, leaning over her close enough that he could smell her perfume.

"I promise I will make this up to you," he said in a low purr.

"I believe you," she said with half a smile as she wheeled her chair around. "Thousands wouldn't."

"Ruth…" he started worried.

"I'm not serious," she said lightly. She reached for him and squeezed his hand lightly. "I know you didn't plan for a bomb to be planted in Waterloo. It isn't your fault."

"Okay," he said quietly, resisting the urge to kiss her lips which were looking very tempting in the half light from her computer. "Get to work then." The last was said in a light and teasing tone so she smiled and then followed his advice.

* * *

><p>"Thank you," Harry said putting the phone down. Three of the terrorist group had been caught, another shot himself rather than getting taken and the last was on the Eurostar to Paris. The French authorities were set to take him the minute the train stopped. Apart from the suicide, no fatalities, so it was a good nights work. He stepped out of his office to inform the team the basic structure of how things had gone. It was far too late for any detail.<p>

Jo and Adam went home, quickly followed by Malcolm. Ruth stayed sitting at her station, trying to find the energy to move. Harry walked over to Tariq and told him in no uncertain terms to go home. He liked the idea of Ruth and an empty grid for some reason. As soon as the pods whirred around Tariq, he perched on a desk near her. She didn't look at him and after a minute he realised she was trying to stop herself from crying.

"It was a success," he said as he couldn't imagine what had made her look like this. "No bombs went off and they've all been apprehended. Why are you so upset?"

"Its stupid," she said. "I know its stupid."

"Tell me," Harry said. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. She turned his hand over slowly and began idly drawing shapes on his palm. He loved the touch and didn't want to say anything to break it. After a minute of this she took his hand again and held it.

"The man who shot himself, he had two daughters. They're five and three, and I was just thinking, they are going to have to be told that their father is dead. Its silly. I know he would have killed us all without thinking twice but I can't stop thinking about those girls."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, suddenly realising why this would be so upsetting to her. "I know you lost your father far too soon."

"I don't really have a lot of memories of him and most of them are blurry," she said shaking her head sadly. "I just find it sad that's all," she added, understating the emotion he knew she was feeling.

"Stand up," he said firmly. Bewildered she did what he asked. He approached her carefully, warily. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close for a hug. After a moment of surprised she let go of her tension and softened in his arms. There was nothing lustful or underlying in the embrace, it was one of simple comfort. It had been a long time since she had been held like this, she thought as one of his hands ran down her back. Eventually they parted, but something heavy seemed in the air.

"I'll take you home," he said quietly, almost seductively.

"Is there an point in arguing?"

"No."

"Okay then," she said gathering her things and walking to the pods, Harry just behind her.

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><p><em>I wanted to end the chapter once they got to Ruth's flat but its not written yet. Hope this is okay, and massive thanks to the wonderful reviewers. Also as Mtn Cousin correctly pointed out, Rose had Harry for quite a few chapters so I should even the score with lots of HR chapters.<em>


	13. Chapter 13

The car journey was quiet but not uncomfortable. It was a new feeling for them, to enjoy the silence rather than hate the underlying and unspoken tension running between them. Harry switched the engine off and turned to Ruth.

"Thanks for driving me home," Ruth said. Before she could think twice she reached over and squeezed his hand, planting a light kiss on his cheek. When she was sitting back in her seat the look he gave her was smouldering. There was no other word for it. "Would you like to come in?" she asked half breathlessly.

"Its late and I probably shouldn't," he said quietly. "Do you want me to?"

"That is a question I can't give a right answer to," Ruth said smiling sadly. "If I say no, I'm cold and horribly rude. But if I say yes I'm incredibly brazen. I can't win."

"Try the honest answer," Harry said in a voice like velvet.

"Would you like to come in?" she repeated.

"Very much," he said, eyes connecting and sparks flying between them. Ruth nodded and they both left the car, fingertips brushing together causing sparks of electricity as they walked up to her flat. Unlocking the door Ruth turned to him.

"Do you want a drink? I have half a bottle of chardonnay in the fridge." She wanted to do something to keep her hands busy. At the time inviting Harry in had seemed so simple and easily the right thing to do. Now her doubts were starting to get to her. Opening the fridge she was startled when she heard Harry approach her and she straightened up.

"Ruth." His voice was breathing over her neck, making her shiver. "I don't need a drink." She froze as his arms wound their way around her waist. He wondered if he was pushing his luck but she hadn't pulled away. He tightened his grip and felt a huge surge of relief when she leaned back against his chest, her body almost moulding to his. She wasn't going to pull away, she didn't want to. Keeping one hand around her waist he removed the other one to brush her hair away from her neck. He gave her a kiss, feeling her pulse underneath his lips. He moved to whisper in her ear.

"I can leave," he said. "I won't be offended if you want me to leave." Massively disappointed though, he thought to himself, but he had to offer her the option, even after he'd been there for less than five minutes.

"I will be offended if you leave," she whispered. She turned around and faced him and the look on her face made it clear what she wanted.

"Are you sure? Its late, neither of us are thinking straight." She stayed silent for a moment, her hand rising to cup his face, feeling rough stubble under her palm.

"I have wanted this every day for years," Ruth said with a smile. "You think I'm going to change my mind now?"

"I hope not," he said with a cheeky grin. She closed the small gap between them and their lips pressed together in an intense embrace. The most passionate they had shared yet, because this kiss was leading somewhere. Harry kept pushing her in the general direction of her bedroom, which thankfully had the door open. As lips explored each other coats were slipped to the floor and shoes thrown off quickly. By the time Ruth's back hit the mattress her blouse had been completely unbuttoned and Harry was staring at her breasts with uncontrolled lust.

"Harry…" she said tentatively and his mind started screaming at him. She was going to change her mind. She was going to tell him to stop.

Instead of crying out in frustration, he asked with apparent calmness and love shining in his eyes. "What is it?" a hand stroking her face.

"Its just… its been quite a while since I've done this," she admitted, cheeks blushing slightly. "I… I don't want you to be disappointed." Harry felt like laughing at such a trivial worry but felt relieved that he didn't voice it. Instead he told her what his heart was saying.

"Its you," he said simply. "Its us. I could never possibly be disappointed." He kissed her slowly as her arms slipped out of her blouse and spent the next hour proving himself right.

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><p>Ruth woke up feeling very happy and contented. She stretched slightly, feeling some of her muscles ache in places she'd forgotten could ache. It was a wonderfully tired and satisfied feeling. Harry's head was resting on her stomach and she smiled. Allowing one of her hands to drift downwards she stroked his hair for several minutes until he began to stir. His hands gripped her waist tightly as consciousness returned to him.<p>

"Morning," she said lightly.

"Mm," he agreed with eyes closed. "Wake me tomorrow," he added, settling on her to go back into sleep as Ruth laughed lightly. "You're so warm and comfortable."

"Some women get beautiful and desirable," Ruth said. "I get warm and comfortable. Typical."

Harry knew he had a little bit of explaining to do from the tone she was using so he reluctantly moved away from her skin and scrambled up the bed, head on the pillows lying next to her. "As a man who has spent his entire career lying, hiding secrets or being on the run, trying to avoid ending up on a mortuary slab, warm and comfortable are big compliments."

"You can talk yourself out of anything, can't you?" Ruth said with a smile, but she did appreciate what he was saying. He wasn't using the exact words but he was telling her that he felt safe with her, which while not being the most romantic notion in the world, did mean quite a lot to her. She leaned in and kissed him lightly. "When do we have to move and get to work?"

"Its already nine," he said. "Late night last night but I really do think we should get going. Reluctantly," he added as his right hand stroked her body. They both started to move out of bed when Ruth sat up suddenly

"Harry?"

"What is it?" he asked, slightly worried. Her blue eyes focused on his before she spoke.

"I love you."

He stared at her in amazement, not at the sentiment, it was at the fact that he hadn't told her how he felt yet. "I love you," he said leaning over the bed and kissing her firmly. "Always have done."

"Good to know," she said lightly as she hopped out of bed. Harry treated himself to a view of her completely naked for almost a minute before clothes started being thrown over her figure. He sighed with regret, knowing that the real world was still out there.

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><p><em>Apologies for any mistakes, its the first draft. Hope you liked it and big thanks for making this story cross the 100 reviews line!<em>


	14. Chapter 14

Ruth came on the grid alone, as Harry had gone home to change before work. They didn't mind their friends speculating on their relationship but there was no need to turn up in yesterdays clothes, to add fuel to the fire, as it were. So she sat down with no more than the obligatory glance at his office, one she didn't realise she sent in that direction.

"Are you alright?" she asked Jo who had her head in her hands.

"Mm," she said unconvincingly. "Got no sleep last night, that's all. Far too early and when I get here the boss hasn't even bothered to show up!" Ruth bit back the retort she was longing to throw, knowing it would cause more harm than good. Something must have given herself away because Jo was looking at her as if she had never seen her friend properly before. "Oh my God," Jo whispered.

"What?" Ruth asked. After checking that Adam, Malcolm and Tariq weren't anywhere near them Jo slid her chair over to Ruth.

"Look me in the eye and tell me nothing happened between the two of you last night," Jo said studying her friends face carefully. Ruth was staring at her computer screen but she couldn't help the small smile that twitched on her face. "Oh, I'm so glad," Jo said. "So where is he?"

Giving the grid a look, making doubly sure no one was close she leant over to whisper to Jo.

"He's at home getting changed. Can we drop it?"

"If you insist," Jo said, her face breaking into a happy smile. "Are you happy?" Jo asked after a moments silence. Ruth considered it for a moment.

"Yes I am."

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><p>Ruth knocked and without waiting burst into Harry's office later that day. She was speaking a mile a minute about the Russian extremist they'd been tracking. She stopped speaking when her hand was covered by his. "Slow down," he said, eyes glinting at her.<p>

"Basically he's in a Russian prison," Ruth said trying to focus on the conversation rather than Harry's fingers running seductively slowly over her knuckles.

"Tell the FSB that I'd like a word with our Russian friend before they lock him up and throw away the key."

"I've tried," Ruth said turning her hand over as his fingers continued the same slow journey over her palm. "They won't talk to me. Its nice to know they've become even more charming in the three years I've been absent."

"The Russians hated you," Harry said looking into her eyes with a touch of humour beneath the surface. "One Russian spy we turned a while back said that nothing in their country was safe from you. The best analyst in the country."

"Glad to know I was notorious," Ruth said, fighting a blush at the compliment.

"Anyway, keep working on the FSB, I'm sure you can bribe them with something. I want a word with Mr Ivanov."

"Okay," she said not relishing the task ahead of her.

"Then at five, you're going home because I am taking you out to dinner tonight," Harry said in a slow murmur. "We never got around to food last night."

"No we didn't," Ruth said with a smile. "Okay, dinner sounds very nice."

"Good," Harry replied. He squeezed her hand once more and she reluctantly left his office, to try and soften her Russia counterparts up.

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><p>That evening Ruth was incredibly nervous, which was ridiculous she thought as she put her necklace on. Harry had spent hours with her naked the night before and she was nervous about dinner? The doorbell rang and she took a last look in the mirror as her heart rate tripled. She wore a knee length black dress that left her arms bare, small heels, a dark jacket and her hair down. She thought she looked okay but that didn't take away her nervousness. Realising she'd been silently considering herself while Harry was waiting for her she opened the door just as his fist had raised to knock.<p>

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"You… look incredible," Harry said honestly as his eyes skimmed her figure, appreciating the way the dress clung to her. She allowed him to look at her in this manner for a minute before she picked up her bag.

"Shall we go?"

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><p>Their dinner together was lovely, romantic and perfect. It had been a long time coming, this second date and they both enjoyed every second. Desert had come and gone and they were both enjoying pleasant conversation, until Harry brought up a change of topic.<p>

"When you were away, where did you go?"

Her smiled froze as she thought about her answer. "Several places. I stayed in Paris for a little while. I knew it was dangerous being so close to the UK, but it was being close to home which made me stay there longer than was wise."

"What made you move on?" Harry prompted when she didn't elaborate any further.

"One day I got the shock of my life. I bumped into Oliver Mace." Harry looked at her and the worry was clear on his face. "Or I thought I did. He was at a distance from me but I could have sworn it was him. Even if I had made a mistake I knew it was foolish to stay in the city any longer. I saved an email for Malcolm, because I knew he was keeping track of me, packed a bag and took a train to Bordeaux." Harry nodded at the empty wine bottle which had in fact been a very nice Bordeaux wine. Ruth smiled slightly. "I kept moving, never wanting to be caught in such a close scrape as that again. I ended up in Polis in Cyprus. I kept in contact with Malcolm on and off, because I wanted to come home. But there isn't much more to tell than that I'm afraid."

"Did you ever…?" he trailed off wondering how to put it. "Was there ever anyone else involved in your life?"

"No Harry," she said simply. "I didn't want anyone else, I wanted you. Any other relationship would just have felt hollow."

"I know exactly what you mean," he said honestly. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. By being with someone else."

"Its okay," she said instantly. But when she took a moment to think about it, she realised she was telling the truth. It was okay. Now that in her heart she knew Rose wasn't a threat to her and Harry's happiness, she didn't really mind her involvement in Harry's life previously. As their eyes connected he saw the truth there and smiled at her. He squeezed her hand gently and kept hold of it, even when their waiter appeared.

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No," Harry said looking at Ruth's beautiful face. "I think we have everything we need."

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><p><em>The M rated chapter requested has been put in "the morning after" story if anyone hasn't seen it yet. I think this is the last chapter, thanks so much for the reviews and hope one last one isnt too much to ask. xxx<em>


	15. Chapter 15

_Tiny little chapter to test the waters and see if more is wanted... Set 6 months after the last chapter..._

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><p>Ruth had escaped the dreariness of Thames House for a few hours. They were in between crisis's and it was amazing how quiet their work space became in times like that. Harry had quite sweetly insisted that she take the afternoon off and go to look for a wedding dress. She smiled when she thought of that word. Wedding. Harry had proposed to her one morning before she'd really woken up properly and she had quickly said yes. He surprised her even more by getting a ring he ha clearly had for sometime and handing it to her. Diamonds and sapphires, it was gorgeous she thought as she looked at it again. She was about to push a shop door open when she faltered. A reflection in the mirror had caught her attention. She turned and went white as she recognised the woman on the other side of the road. It was Rose. That wasn't what bothered her. What shocked her to the core, so badly that it made her drop her bag was the fact that Rose was sporting a large pregnancy bump.<p>

"Oh my God!" Ruth whispered under her breath. "No." Rose hadn't seen her and had walked past so her back was to her but the image of her round stomach was burned into her brain. All too soon she turned the corner and vanished from the street. Ruth slowly bent down to retrieve her bag, eyes still on the spot where Rose had vanished. How could this be happening to her?

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><p><em>More?<em>


	16. Chapter 16

_Wow, thanks for the lovely reviews on such a short chapter. Here's the next little bit and I promise to keep going until a happy HR ending, for those who asked. No matter how many chapters it might take!_

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><p>Ruth barged onto the grid straight into Jo. "Hi, how was wedding dress shopping? What the hell happened to you?" the blonde asked in quick succession as she saw the stricken look on her face.<p>

"Do me a favour and make sure no one interrupts us in Harry's office. I don't care what's happening, can I have a private conversation with him?"

"Consider it done," Jo said seeing how horrified she looked. Ruth nodded in thanks and opened Harry's door without knocking, shut it and locked it all in the time it took him to look up from his paperwork.

"I thought you were going to be… what is it," he said in a softer voice, seeing her face. He got up from his seat and approached her, looking into her eyes, which didn't help her when she was fighting off the tears.

"I need you to tell me that you haven't been lying to me for months," Ruth said seriously, her eyes wide studying him.

"Of course I haven't," he replied almost out of habit.

"I don't care how upset you'd think I'd be, I would rather hear anything from you first. No matter how much it would hurt me."

"Ruth, look at me," he said (rather unnecessarily as she was anyway). He cupped her face with both hands and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "I swear I am not lying or hiding anything from you. I wouldn't do that to you. Now can you please tell me why you're so upset."

"Then what I'm going to say is going to be a shock," Ruth said. Harry nodded, his hands stroking down her neck until they left her completely. By that time she'd braved herself for what she was about to say. "While I was shopping, I saw Rose. She looks about six months pregnant."

"What?" Harry said in a breathless voice, his face going as white as hers. "Oh my God." He half sat half, collapsed into the chair in front of his desk while breathing heavily. "No I did not know," he said in answer to her earlier questions. He ran a hand over his face as they both silently absorbed the information for long minutes.

"Did you talk to her?"

"No," Ruth replied. "I saw her on the other side of the street. And even if I'd literally bumped into her what would I have said? "Hello, are you carrying my fiancé's child?""

"Fair point," Harry conceded with a faint smile. "I just can't believe this."

"Join the club," Ruth said fervently. She paused before voicing her next thought, unsure as to how he'd take it. "Harry… it might not be yours."

"True," he said with a tilt of his head. "I have to talk to her," he added standing up now the total shock had worn off.

"I know," Ruth said. It didn't mean she liked it.

"Are you okay?"

"No," she said honestly. Harry walked closer to her and gave her a slow hug. He reluctantly let go and carried on the very difficult conversation.

"Ruth, if it is mine… I will be involved in his or her life, you know that don't you?"

"Of course I do," Ruth replied. "You wouldn't be the decent man I love if you didn't want to be involved in your child's life. Even if its with another woman."

"I'm so sorry Ruth," he whispered. "I know how difficult this is to wrap my head around, I can't imagine how difficult it is for you."

"Harry, this is me being insecure and its about myself, I know that. I need you to tell me that you aren't going to leave me for her and your child. Please."

Harry smiled her favourite smile of his, the one that told her without words that she was the only woman he saw. With one hand on her face, the other wrapped around her waist. He leaned in and pressed a chaste reassuring kiss to her lips. "I can't leave you," he said. "I'm hopelessly in love with you. Don't, but if you died tomorrow, there would never be another woman who means what you mean to me. She didn't mean a quarter of what you do."

"Thank you. I needed to hear that." He kissed her again and it was a long time before they came up for air.


	17. Chapter 17

For the last few hours at work that day Ruth and Harry kept throwing meaningful glances to each other, even more so than usual. It had been a stressful day for everyone because all on the grid had noticed the extra tension between the two.

Because of this everyone left as early as they could get away with. Once Adam had vanished through the pods Harry emerged from his office and approached her desk. "You know I have to call her?"

"Yeah," Ruth said sadly.

"I haven't yet because if you want to listen in you're more than welcome."

"I may not always show it but I trust you Harry," she said quietly. "I love you." Harry picked up his mobile phone and called the number while she watched. It rang and he waited with bated breath for her to pick up. Just when it was about to go through to answer phone he heard a breathless "hello?"

"Hi Rose, its Harry," he said simply. There was a silence on the phone line.

"You know don't you?" Rose said when the tension got too much for her.

"That you're pregnant? Yes I have found that out."

"Harry, I know that you're a good man, but please don't make me do this over the phone. Can we meet up tomorrow?"

"Fine," he agreed, not exactly liking having this discussion with Ruth quietly watching in the background. "Where?"

"The little café we used to go to," Rose said. "Nine okay?"

"Perfect," Harry said. He quickly disconnected the call to find Ruth staring at him. "We're meeting tomorrow. She didn't want to discuss it over the phone." Ruth nodded absently.

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><p>That night was an uncomfortable one for both of them. Eventually Ruth fell asleep, her head on Harry's chest as he stroked her hair comfortingly. This left Harry awake and with the chance to think about this for the first time alone. He had another child on the way. Possibly, at any rate. Probably, the honest part of him thought. He hadn't been there for his first two children when they'd been growing up and he'd never really forgiven himself for that. If this baby turned out to be his he knew he'd act differently for his third child and he hoped that Ruth would understand. But then she was a very understanding woman. This would end up being much more difficult for her than himself, he knew that. The fact that Harry would have to be around his ex for a long, long time would hurt her. Even though he hated to see Ruth in any kind of pain, he didn't wish that someone else had fathered this child, which surprised him.<p>

Ruth and himself had had a conversation about children and they had both agreed to simply see what happened. If she got pregnant, then great but so far nothing had happened. Even though she didn't voice it, he knew she was bitterly disappointed. The fact that Rose was pregnant was currently hurting her more than she was telling him, he knew that. He sighed and thought quite simply, what a bloody mess.

He shifted under her weight and gently moved her onto the pillows, slowly so as not to wake her. She settled down her face turned to his. With half a smile he kissed the tip of her nose as she snuggled against him. He kept one arm around her waist as he slipped into an uneasy sleep.

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><p>The next morning he left an unhappy Ruth at the grid. "I'll call you," he promised. She nodded and kissed him on the lips, ignoring the fact that others were starting to come into work. "I love you," he quietly reassured her. She didn't say anything but the way her eyes sparkled at him was all the reply he needed. He squeezed her hand a last time before leaving the grid as she watched him go.<p>

When he'd left Ruth sat down and closed her eyes in despair. She had her face in her hands so was unaware of when Jo approached her until the younger spook put a hand on her shoulder. Ruth jerked up and looked at her.

"You can talk to me," Jo said pulling up a chair. "I won't break a confidence."

"I know you wouldn't," Ruth said. "This is just difficult."

"You seem upset."

"Yeah," Ruth said with a sigh. "Upset would cover it." Ruth looked around but everyone was occupied and out of earshot. Malcolm an Tariq were typing away and Adam was nowhere to be seen at the moment. Probably late morning with Wes, she thought. "I don't want Harry to know we've been talking about this."

"I won't say a word," Jo said surely, taking her friends hand lightly and giving it a brief squeeze before letting her go.

"You remember Rose? The blonde Harry was with when I came back?"

"Yeah, I do," Jo said.

"She's pregnant. It could be Harry's."

"Oh my God," Jo said in a hushed whisper, her mouth hanging slightly open. "No wonder you're upset!"

"I don't quite know what to do, or what to think at the moment."

"Where is he?"

"Meeting her. I saw her on the street yesterday where it was quite obvious."

"While you were wedding dress shopping?" Ruth nodded. "I feel so sorry for you." Normally Ruth would feel embarrassed that she was the subject of pity but right now she had bigger things to worry about.

"It might not be Harry's," Jo added.

"Since when have I been that lucky?" Ruth asked.

"You're engaged to a man who loves you," Jo said. "In spite of all the other circumstances, that is lucky."

"Thanks Jo." She didn't get a chance to say more because at that point Adam came over to them taking a mile a minute. Ruth turned to her computer and got to work.

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><p><em>Sorry to leave you in suspense, but I am posting everything, for this story (and Tall dark stranger) as soon as its written. Leave a review and make me smile!<em>


	18. Chapter 18

_Working a lot this weekend, but am trying to write as quickly as possible! x_

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><p>Harry opened the door and scanned the café, looking for Rose. His breath caught when he saw her because Ruth had been right. It was hard to miss her pregnancy bump. He worked his way to the back of the café and sat down opposite her.<p>

"How did you find out?" she asked, not in a critical voice, more curiosity.

"My fiancé saw you yesterday while looking for a wedding dress," Harry said bluntly.

Rose winced. "I am sorry, that's not the way I'd have chosen for you to find out."

"Apparently you didn't want me to find out at all. You've had ample time for that," he replied accurately. I don't mean to sound horrible or crass but I have to ask. Is it mine?"

"I don't know who the father is," she said quietly and he was glad that she didn't seem to take offence at the question. It had needed asking anyway.

"Were you having an affair?" Harry asked. He didn't much care about the answer but at the time he had felt so guilty because of how badly he wanted Ruth. He hadn't liked treating Rose badly.

"No," she said. "I don't cheat. I was lonely. The other man… It happened a few days after things between us ended. That's all I'm going to say about him. He isn't in the picture at all."

"Why on earth didn't you tell me?" Harry asked. "I'd never have known if Ruth hadn't seen you."

"I would have told you," Rose replied. "I was waiting until the baby's born. So we can have a DNA test done. That was my plan anyway. Unless you'd rather not know, which is fine. I recognise that I'm not a part of your life anymore. What's the point in having months of worry? And if I'm being brutally honest, it was easier for me not to see you."

"I want to know if its mine," Harry said surely.

"Him, Harry. Not it, him."

"It's a boy?"

"Yes," she said and she couldn't help the smile that formed on her face. She was clearly happy about the baby even with the horrible and uncomfortable circumstances. "I…" she tailed off.

"Go on," Harry encouraged.

"I have an ultrasound picture if you want to see it?" Harry took a moment to think and then nodded. Rose opened her bag and rifled through it until she found the picture. She slowly handed it over to Harry who took it from her. He swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat. Seeing a picture made it all the more real, not just an abstract idea. After a long minute he handed it back and she put it safely away.

"Is everything okay? Healthy?"

"He's fine." Rose assure him. "So you're getting married?"

"Yes," Harry replied, relieved to be on slightly safer ground. "If she still wants to now."

"I am sorry that you found out like that, it wasn't my intention."

"I know that," Harry said. "You aren't vindictive. But I do have to go."

"Of course you do," Rose replied. "Harry? I'm not sorry that I'm pregnant, but I am sorry about the situation."

"I know. I'll see you soon."

"Bye Harry," she said as he quickly disappeared. His heart was beating faster than it should have been as he made his way back to Thames House. Ruth would hide it, but she would be disappointed, he knew that. And the next three months with no definitive answer were going to be torture. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, maybe Rose had a point. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't known until later, but then maybe that was the cowards way out.

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><p>Back at the grid Ruth followed him silently to his office. As soon as she shut the door Harry shook his head. "She doesn't know who the father is," he said bluntly. Ruth's only response was to sigh heavily. Great, she thought to herself. She had months of worry and concern ahead of her and she wasn't looking forward to it. "It's a boy," Harry said before he could stop himself. Ruth nodded at that, feeling herself spiralling downwards into devastation. She didn't realise until Harry pulled her into his arms, but she'd started crying.<p>

"I'm sorry," she said in between sobs. "I can't help it. Maybe its me being selfish but it was supposed to me and you, not you and her."

"You are not selfish," he murmured into her hair as a hand stroked her back. "You're amazing." She laughed weakly. "I love you. So very much." She loosened her arms and kissed him deeply and passionately as hands started wandering over too many layers of clothing.

"Well, I must love you to put up with all of your rubbish mustn't I?" she said with a half smile as she smoothed his tie down. Their eye contact and the moment of emotion was broken by a knock at Harry's door. He sighed and kissed her hair as he heard Adam shout "I need Ruth."

"I think I need her more," Harry whispered into her ear so only she could hear it. He was rewarded with her blush as she moved to the door. He stayed staring at it for a long time after she'd walked through it.


	19. Chapter 19

A few nights after Harry made love to Ruth for the first time since they had discovered the knowledge that Rose was unaware as to the father of her child. He was slow and tender with her, wanting to reassure her without words that she was the one he loved more than anything else. That no one else could come close to her. He brought her to completion three times before she collapsed on the pillows, her eyes heavy with fulfilled desire. He leaned over her to switch the bedside lamp off. He was about to go to "his" side of the bed when to his happiness, he felt Ruth grab hold of his hand and pull his arm around her waist. In the silence he carefully got comfortable around her and kissed the back of her neck as she leant against his chest.

"Love you," she whispered sleepily, and she actually sounded like she was going to get a good nights sleep, something she had been struggling with recently.

"Love you too," he replied quietly as she let go of consciousness. After about ten minutes, he knew she wasn't going to be waking up anytime soon and felt relieved. He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her soft cheek. When Ruth was calm and happy, it was so much easier for him to relax. He loved her so much, was his last thought before following her into the happy realms of sleep.

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><p><em>Okay, yes its a tiny little update, but firstly I felt a scene like this was needed, and secondly I'd like some opinions. (Whichever way, there will be a happy HR ending, I'll say that first.) I had planned on going one way with this story, but an alternative version has sprung to mind which I'll probably get more milage out of. What do you think? Short and tie the story up, or longer? Thanks for reading the authors note which is almost as long as the chapter!<em>


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. I got on a roll last night and am posting the next chapter quicker than I thought. Enjoy._

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><p>Ruth took a deep breath, her hand on the door, waiting to gather the courage to open it. She knew walking away was being cowardly so she pushed open the café door and sat opposite Rose who was looking out of the window absently. Rose turned from the window and studied Ruth's face intently, the silence becoming very heavy between them, the sounds of a working café fading to the background. Rose was elegant, was Ruth's first thought. Pregnancy suited her, was her second, followed by a stab of pure jealousy. Her face was glowing and even though she wasn't smiling, she seemed to be radiating happiness.<p>

"I'd appreciate it if you don't tell Harry I'm meeting you today," Ruth said breaking the uncomfortable quietness.

"I won't say a word," Rose said and Ruth could see the honesty in her.

"I will tell him in my own time," Ruth said wanting to justify herself. "In my own way."

"I did not plan on you finding out like that," Rose said. "I was going to call Harry once my sons born." Ruth swallowed when Rose said the word son. It reminded her of what she didn't have.

"I don't know why I'm here," Ruth said. She got up, her chair scratching on the floor but felt Rose grab her arm.

"You wanted to meet me," Rose replied as Ruth slowly sank back down into her seat. "I don't say this to rub it in, I say it because I think its true, but you're jealous of me."

Ruth felt like she should storm out, should viciously deny it but then decided she didn't have the energy, especially when it was essentially true. "Yes," she said. "I am so jealous of the fact you could be carrying Harry's child that I can't breathe when I think about it," she admitted.

"I didn't plan this," Rose said brushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "I won't be trying to get Harry back, I want you to know that. Any woman in the world with half a brain knows they can't compete with you when they see the way he looks at you."

"So everyone tells me," Ruth said honestly. "But I'm the one who sees his face when he talks about your child, knowing it could be his. The chance to be a father again and this time do it right. Its something I can't give him. Or not yet anyway." She hadn't meant to be this brutally honest but at the back of her mind, she knew that Rose was a good person. Rose was looking at her with sad eyes which she couldn't take. "I have to go," Ruth blurted. She didn't stop and turn back to look at Rose. The tears were clouding her eyes too much for it to do any good anyway.

* * *

><p>That night in bed Ruth was laying on her stomach, arms folded on the pillows as Harry stroked her hair. She decided to come clean. "I met Rose today."<p>

"I know you did," Harry said. "I can always tell when you're lying to me. You didn't have an asset to meet today. I guessed you were meeting her, because anything else and you'd tell me the truth." He stroked her hair again. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I needed to have the option to back out if I wanted to," she said. "If I had told you, I'd have had to have gone through with it. I want to hate her you know," Ruth said. "I want to hate her so badly my head hurts with the burning jealousy. But she is perfectly nice," Ruth added. "I can't hate her."

"I love you," Harry whispered. She smiled at him and felt her body react as he lay on top of her, his weight supported by his arms as he kissed the back of her neck and worked his way down her spine.

"Mm," Ruth murmured. He lifted the hem of her vest and worked his way back up over bare skin. "You know what, lets forget about her tonight."

"Excellent idea," Harry said as Ruth flipped herself over.

* * *

><p><em>Three months later...<em>

Ruth was busy updating the terror report an sipping her coffee when her desk phone rang. She picked it up, her eyes automatically flicking to Harry's office. Before he spoke, she saw his phone held to his ear and knew what this would mean.

"I have to go," he said quietly. She nodded, knowing he was watching her.

"Do you mind that I'm not coming?" Ruth asked.

"Would you if I asked you to?"

"Of course I would," she replied honestly.

"I love you for that," he said. She smiled without feeling it. "Anyway, practically I need you to look after the grid while I'm absent. I don't want Adam calling me in a panic and you're more than capable."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence," she said sarcastically. "Adam won't call, I promise."

"Thank you," Harry said. "I don't want anyone else but you knowing our business." Ruth hadn't mentioned that she was confiding in Jo, and liked to keep it that way. It was good for her to have someone to talk to who wasn't stuck in the middle of the problem. Also Jo had shown that she was better at keeping secrets than Ruth would have credited her with beforehand. Harry put the phone down and Ruth watched through the glass as he shrugged his jacket on and picked up his keys. Coming onto the grid he approached her and without any embarrassment at all kissed her passionately, an embrace she returned fervently, ignoring everyone watching, some things were more important.

"Please call me," Ruth said.

"I will," he replied kissing her, more briefly this time. As he left her Ruth noted absently that everyone suddenly appeared massively busy, much more so than normal, except for Malcolm who had chosen to ignore them both. After about ten minutes when she was sure he wasn't going to return and she glanced at her watch. She had to leave now or she was going to be cutting it fine indeed. Trust Rose to go into labour now, she thought shaking her head.

"Jo," she called, walking over to her friends desk. "I have to go now," she said. "If there is a problem, which I pray there won't be do not let Adam call Harry. Call me instead okay?"

"I still think you should tell him," Jo said.

"No." Ruth replied firmly. "Not yet anyway." Jo rolled her eyes as if she knew this was a mistake but Ruth ignored her. "I have to go, my appointment…"

"Go," Jo said. Ruth smiled gratefully and hurriedly left the grid before anything else could detain her.

* * *

><p>Harry approached the hospital feeling absolutely terrified. He parked his car and switched the engine off. He took a minute to sit in the car thinking about how his life could possible be about to change forever. This baby was coming into the world today and it would take a few days for the DNA results. He locked his car and slowly approached the hospital, feeling very anxious. He swallowed before talking to the receptionist.<p>

"Rose Thompson?" he asked the woman behind the desk. She flicked through her clipboard, looking for the correct patient.

"Are you family?" the predictable question made Harry sigh

"I'm the father of her child," Harry said not wanting to get into the details. The receptionist nodded and ran her finger across the clipboard.

"Okay, I've got her here, she's in room 216 on the second floor. I feel I should tell you that her baby's been born."

"What?" Harry said shocked. "No that's impossible. She arrived at the hospital less than an hour ago and then called me.

"Fast labour," the receptionist said shrugging. "It happens sometimes. Do you want to continue arguing with me or head up to the second floor?" Harry took her point and quickly thanked her, going to the lift and waiting for the doors to open.

He took a deep breath before opening the door and when he did, he saw that Rose was actually asleep. Quietly closing the door his breath caught when he saw the cot at the bottom of her bed. A tiny bundle in a white blanket was just stirring. He looked over at the tiny baby and watched as the boys eyes opened a fraction. The boy was staring at him with bright blue (almost Ruth like) eyes. Leaning over the cot Harry reached down and stroked the boys cheek softly. He stopped instantly because the boys eyes were filled with wide eyed surprise and he didn't want the baby crying and waking her up. The boys arm moved slightly and he was still studying Harry intently.

"You can hold him if you like," Rose's hoarse voice said from the bed.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Harry said, still not tearing his eyes off of the newborn.

"I'm strung out on pain medication anyway," Rose said. "I'll drift off in a couple of minutes."

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, concern for her finally showing as he looked at her.

"Mm, just in quite a bit of pain. The medication didn't come into effect until James had been born."

"James?" Harry asked questioning the boys name.

"Yes, James," Rose said surely. "Jamie. I meant what I said, you can hold him." Harry nodded at Rose and then turned to the newborn. His eyes were open. At this moment Harry didn't care whether the baby was his or not, because this was a brand new life that was dependent on him. It was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure. He carefully and slowly picked the baby up, cradling Jamie in his arms. He glanced back at Rose and saw she'd already fallen asleep again. Harry rocked the baby, amazed that this long forgotten habit was coming back to him.

"Hi Jamie," he whispered to the baby who's eyelashes kept blinking at him bewilderedly. "Your mummy loves you, and your daddy does too," he said to Jamie. "And you know what else? You're going to have a step mother who is such a wonderful person. And she's going to love you too. I promise." Jamie opened and closed his mouth silently which Harry took for agreement. He smiled at the newborn and continued to rock the baby until the little one's eyes drifted closed.

* * *

><p><em>I promise in the next chapter we find out if its Harry's or not! xx<em>


	21. Chapter 21

_I forgot to mention that from Thursday I am away from home, so away from internet access until Monday next week. I don't know how much of this will get written before then, but here's the next chapter._

* * *

><p>The doctor came into the room, flicking through the sheaf of papers she carried. She sat down behind her desk as Ruth looked on nervously.<p>

"Well," the doctor started but before she could say anything else Ruth interrupted.

"Please don't start talking medical to me, just do it in plain English, quick and fast, so I don't get anymore worked up than I already am."

"I'm sorry," the doctor replied. Ruth closed her eyes as she felt the disappointment run through her. "Its not _impossible _that you'll conceive just…"

"Very unlikely," Ruth finished accurately, nodding her head even when she felt like crying. "I'm never going to be a mother am I?" she asked.

"I can't answer that for you," the doctor replied. "All I can tell you is that all the tests we ran show that your fertility potential is very low. It isn't impossible but your age doesn't help. It isn't in your favour.

"You know how to kick a girl when she's down," Ruth said, sadly looking at the desk.

"There are other options if you want to start a family," the doctor started. Ruth shook her head.

"Thank you but no," Ruth said. "I can't. Thank you for your time." She got up and left the doctors surgery feeling flat. She had wanted to get checked because it had been months and nothing had happened. She knew that Harry and herself weren't exactly the youngest parents in the world, but to be told it was never going to happen was heartbreaking. She had been walking down the street completely oblivious to where she was going when her phone started to ring. She brushed her tears aside and looked. It was Adam. "Yes?" Ruth sighed as he began to describe the latest problem. He finished with a "where the hell is Harry?"

"Don't call him," Ruth said firmly. She did not want him interrupted from the hospital. She had no idea how long he'd be but she wasn't going to be the one to tear him away from his newborn child, especially as it now looked likely there would never be another one.

"But we need Harry to get into contact with the Americans.

"No, I'll do it," Ruth said getting into her car to head back to Thames House, all the while staying on the phone.

"You need his protocols Ruth."

"I know that," she replied turning the engine on. "I've been sleeping with him for nine months, do you really think I don't have his codes?" Adam didn't bother to reply to that, trying not to think of the horribly vivid images going through his mind of Harry and Ruth in bed together. Ruth hung up and drove as fast as possible to Thames House.

* * *

><p>Harry came back onto the grid to silence. Everyone had gone home except for Adam who was stopping off at the American embassy and Ruth who was typing viciously. She stopped when she heard the pods whirr and got up when she saw him. She gave him a gentle kiss and enjoyed the feel of his thumbs caressing her waist.<p>

"How did it go?" Ruth asked. "I'm sorry I didn't call, I got distracted hacking into the US networks." Harry raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on her work ethic by spying on an ally of the UK.

"Healthy baby boy," Harry said briefly. "Jamie Thompson," he added. He couldn't help the small smile that spread over his face at that and Ruth felt as if her heart was being shredded as he looked at her. She covered it with a smile. "We'll know in a few days," Harry said. "Whether he's mine. I told the doctor to call me no matter what time of day or night."

"Of course you did," Ruth said with a smile. "Did you get pictures?" Harry's face paled as if that thought hadn't occurred to him.

"I never even thought about a camera," Harry said in wonder.

"You're hopeless," she said, genuine humour lighting up her face this time.

"His eyes… they look like yours, funnily enough," Harry admitted to her, his own face shining with happiness. "That knowing bright blue." Ruth felt herself go cold but didn't say anything.

"Have you eaten?" she asked, changing the subject with ease. "I haven't and I don't know about you but I'm starving." He shook his head and kissed her again before she picked up her coat and they left the grid together.

* * *

><p>"No…" Ruth groaned sleepily as the phone rang. Her head was resting on Harry's chest and she was wonderfully warm and didn't want to move. She felt a Harry shaped hand stroke her bare back as he shifted to answer the phone.<p>

"Yes?" he said in a gruff voice. "Okay," Harry said after a moment and logic caught up with Ruth. It would be the DNA results, because unless it was a grid related emergency, no one else would call at this time of night. Harry had threatened a massive NHS health cut if they didn't call as soon as the test results came in, which was the result of the late night / early morning call.

"Yes, James Thompson," Harry said as his free hand entwined in Ruth's hair. She looked up at him, biting her lip anxiously. His facial expression gave nothing away, even to her who knew him so well. "Thank you," Harry said ending the call and putting the phone aside.

"Well?" she asked.

"Jamie's mine," he said quietly. She felt her heart sink but nodded in silence as Harry let it sink in.

"For you, I'm glad," she said honestly. "You won't get to experience the joy of having a newborn child in your life again."

"Hey, just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't," Harry said reassuring her, pointlessly.

"No it won't happen," she said. Harry looked at her with a mix of curiosity and worry. "You were busy, with Jamie being born and the Americans throwing their weight around so I didn't tell you, but I had some tests done, just to check everything was as it should be. It turns out that it's very unlikely that I'll ever conceive a child."

"You should have told me," Harry said in his deathly quiet voice. "I am never too busy for you. How could you not tell me?"

"Because if Jamie had turned out not to be your son, you would have lost the possibility of two children in one week," Ruth said. "I couldn't do that to you."

"You care about me too damn much," Harry said pulling her in for a tight hug as she sobbed quietly against him. When her tears had been spent she dried her face and looked at Harry through slightly watery eyes.

"I'd like to meet James," she said quietly. "At some point, I'd like to spend some time with your son." Harry nodded. Of course she could. Frankly he was amazed that she would want to. She was an amazing woman, he had already known that.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear before kissing her gently. "So much," he added. "So very much."

* * *

><p><em>I have mental images of my lovely and loyal reviewers priming shotguns for me! Sorry! Don't hate me too much!<em>


	22. Chapter 22

_Now that I've lost half my readership from the last chapter, I have something which I hope is a little bit sweeter. Thanks to all those sticking with it, in spite of the horrible last chapter!_

* * *

><p>Life went on. Rose was perfectly lovely, much to Ruth's annoyance but Jamie was gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. It was impossible not to love that darling little boy she thought as she held the now one month old baby one Friday afternoon. He had his father's scowl too, she thought. They had an arrangement that Harry and Ruth got the baby every Friday night to Saturday afternoon, with Harry going around hers a couple of evenings during the week. At first Rose had been very anxious about letting Ruth around her son, but she had mellowed after seeing that Ruth held no malice to the little boy. All four of them were getting on incredibly well through the messy situation, when one Friday all hell broke lose at work.<p>

The Queen and her family had been staying at Balmoral. There had been a far too close assassination attempt and Harry was required to fly up to Scotland immediately. He had no choice. He didn't even have time to call Rose to say he couldn't pick his son up, which left Ruth with the unpleasant proposition of facing Harry's ex.

She opened the door of her house and the doorbell rang a minute later. "Hi Ruth," Rose said in a friendly voice. "Where's Harry?" she asked stepping through to the kitchen.

"He isn't here," Ruth said, foreseeing the problem.

"So he left you here to take our child," Rose said blankly. "That isn't happening. One month and already he's losing interest. I thought more of him than this."

"You know what he does for a living, and if you've switched on the news today you'll know that an assassination attempt happened on the Queen," Ruth explained. "He's already on a plane up to Scotland, he can't be here."

"They said on the news reports she wasn't injured," Rose replied carefully.

"Her arm was shot. Its fractured, and she's hardly a young woman. Its likely she'll make it though. In regards to Harry, the Queen doesn't get shot every week and I think that as soon as his plane lands, he will call you to explain. You know how much we both adore that boy," she added indicating a squirming Jamie. Rose seemed to consider this and then accepted that the royal family's attempted murder was a decent enough excuse for Harry to be absent. She handed Jamie over to Ruth who rocked him carefully as the little boys eyes went to and fro between the women.

"Call me every hour until he's asleep," Rose said.

"Of course I will," Ruth replied seriously. She may not like Rose, but she knew that they both cared about Jamie. Rose nodded and with a tight smile left the house, closing the door carefully behind her. Ruth sighed with relief and put Jamie in his high chair. He tilted his head slightly as if studying her. Ruth stroked his bald head lightly and felt happy that she had a few hours alone with Harry's son, as well as escaping the mess of the grid that day.

* * *

><p>"Its okay Jamie," Ruth cooed over the bundle. He was wriggling and screaming at the top of his lungs. She picked him up and rocked him in her arms. The screaming went down a notch or two but he was still crying loudly.<p>

"Come on Jamie, if you don't be quiet and go to sleep, your dad will never trust me with you again," Ruth said, patting his back lightly. The screaming didn't let up. For the first time she felt slightly glad that Jamie didn't live with them permanently. He had fallen asleep an hour ago but Ruth had known it had been far too easy. She had been as good as her word and called Rose and the woman had been pleasant, knowing that someone was taking care of him. Each phone call had been reassuring to her, and Ruth felt glad. Or she would do once the little one stopped crying.

* * *

><p>Adam groggily picked up the phone. "This had better be good," he cursed into the phone.<p>

"Adam I need help," Ruth admitted. He sat up slowly and realised he could hear a baby crying in the background. "I have tried everything I can think of to get him to stop crying and sleep and he won't. You've had practice with Wes, tell me something to get him to stop crying. Please."

"Why don't you call Harry?" Adam suggested as he pulled the duvet over him, preparing to go to sleep.

"And tell him I'm completely incapable of taking care of his son? Yes I'm sure that would go over brilliantly," she said sarcastically.

"I can't get a baby I've never met to magically stop crying Ruth, talented as I am," Adam replied.

"Adam if you don't come around here and help me with this screaming baby, I will make it my life's mission to have you shipped to any African country of your choice."

"Calm down. I'll be over in ten minutes."

"Thank you," Ruth said sincerely. Adam looked at his bed in longing but then thought he probably owed Ruth a favour anyway.

* * *

><p>"You've been half an hour," Ruth criticised as she opened the door one handed, the other holding a screaming baby.<p>

"I don't live as close to yours as I thought," Adam said as she let him in.

"Can you just tell me something to make him sleep," Ruth begged. "Tell me he doesn't hate me."

"Babies don't hate people," Adam said. "Give him here." Ruth willingly gave Jamie to Adam and sat down on the sofa in relief. Not that he'd stopped crying but that she finally had someone else to give it a shot. "He's got a pair of lungs on him," Adam said talking over the crying.

"Moody git like his father," Ruth said. Adam looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a critical look on his face. "I'm running on no sleep, give me a break."

"Wonder what its like to be interrupted from sleep?" Adam said sarcastically. Then he had an idea, as he held a screaming Jamie. "Take your shirt off."

"I'm sorry?" Ruth said bewildered, wondering if she'd actually slipped into a delusion.

"Take your shirt off and hold him against your skin. It might calm him down." Ruth hesitated but only for a moment before unbuttoning her blouse. She was so tired she'd try anything with that child to try and get some peace. Her blouse hanging open Adam handed her the baby and she held him tight against her chest. For about ten seconds it made no difference whatsoever. But just when she was beginning to despair the crying got quieter, until about a minute later he became silent as he nuzzled into her.

"Thank you God," she whispered with her eyes shut. "How did you know that trick?"

"Fi used to do it. On the rare nights all three of us were home and Wes just wouldn't shut up. Apparently the baby can hear your heart beat and it comforts them."

"Even though I'm not his mother?" Ruth asked sadly.

"He'll know you aren't her, but it still comforts him."

"You could have told me that over the phone," Ruth said as Jamie's eyes shut. "I wouldn't have dragged you here then."

"It didn't occur to me until I was holding him," Adam said truthfully. "I'm going to go home," he added.

"Words cannot say how grateful I am," she said sincerely. Adam waved to her and quietly shut the door. Ruth took the baby upstairs and sat down on her bed, still holding the sleeping child. She closed her eyes and drifted off instantly.

* * *

><p>They were both lying there when Harry came home two hours later. He opened the bedroom door and smiled broadly when he saw the scene in front of him. Ruth's head had drifted to one side and he could see most of her skin bare and guessed what had happened. He walked over to them and carefully picked Jamie out of her arms. She mumbled awake slowly. "No, no, no," she murmured with eyes still mostly closed, keeping the baby tight in her arms.<p>

"Its okay Ruth," Harry said. "I've got him."

"Mm," she added as Harry gently placed the baby in his cot, making sure that the baby monitor was switched on. Returning to their bedroom he loved the sight that confronted him. Ruth half dressed, completely asleep, hair messed and everywhere. She had never looked so singularly beautiful. "What about… Balmoral? Ruth said sleepily as the mattress dipped under her fiancés weight.

"My Scottish counterpart isn't as clueless as they'd have me believe," Harry said. "I caught the first plane back to Heathrow."

"Mm," Ruth said, snuggling under the duvet, her head resting on his chest. Apparently, babies weren't the only creatures who found heartbeats reassuring.


	23. Chapter 23

"Harry, I am listening but can we talk and feed him at the same time? I don't think I can take anymore crying," Ruth said as she carried Jamie in her arms. Harry handed her the bottle and Ruth unceremoniously shoved it in Jamie's mouth. After a moment of startled surprise on the babies face, he started sucking greedily. "Okay what were you saying?"

"So Adam saw you shirtless did he?" he asked with a smile.

"I was desperate, Harry," she said. "He was the only person I could think to call who would help me. And I didn't want you thinking I was completely incompetent with your son."

"Ruth, babies cry," Harry said simply. "It isn't your fault."

"I know," she said as Jamie kept sucking the milk from the bottle. "I just feel like he knows I'm not his mother and he's waiting for me to make a mistake."

"He knows you that you love him," Harry said in a low voice.

"I honestly didn't expect to," Ruth admitted, putting the bottle on the kitchen table now that James had finished. "But he is so gorgeous and he pouts just like you do when I ignore him."

"I don't pout," Harry said indignantly.

"Come on Harry, you do," she said with a laugh. "Tell daddy he pouts just like you," Ruth said to Jamie. He did nothing but gurgle quietly with wide blue eyes making both adults laugh. Ruth handed Jamie over to his father.

"I am going to wash my hair. You keep your son occupied for an hour."

"It doesn't take an hour for you to wash your hair," Harry argued, shouting at her retreating back. She threw him a smile and shrugged going up the stairs. "I think you kept Aunty Ruth up for far too long last night," Harry said rocking the baby. Caling her "Aunty Ruth" made him think of something else. "You know what? I think its about time I fulfilled my promise. I asked her to marry me and then got distracted by you, little man," Harry said pulling his foot gently. "I think I should probably make a move. After all, she might find someone with a bit less baggage than me one of these days." Harry lifted his son and rubbed his nose against his own. It was amazing the simple joy that could be found in a child. "Do you think Aunty Ruth should marry daddy?" The baby did nothing in response, but Harry personally thought it was an excellent idea.

* * *

><p>In the shower Ruth was letting the hot water run over her and the tension ease away. She always felt anxious nowadays. She didn't want to do anything that would upset anyone at all. Rose or Harry, but especially Jamie. She didn't know how she would feel if Jamie was her own child, but she knew she loved that little boy. He had only been around for a month and already Ruth couldn't imagine their lives without him.<p>

However she always worried that she'd say the wrong thing to Rose. Since becoming a mother she'd become very protective and had already called three times this morning. Ruth had actually been surprised that Rose trusted her to leave Jamie with her when Harry hadn't been there, but it was definitely a good surprise. She felt much calmer and more relaxed as she stepped out of the shower. Slipping her favourite pair of jeans on she towel dried her hair and remembered to call Adam to thank him. Looking at the time she thought he'd probably be up, or at least awake. She walked into their bedroom and called him as she untangled her hair with her fingers.

"Yep?" he asked in a tone which told her she had been right, he had been up.

"I wanted to thank you for last night," Ruth said sincerely. "I think I was too tired to tell you how much it meant to me."

"I remember screaming babies," Adam said. "You're doing alright, all things considered. Especially when he isn't even yours. I think if your positions were reversed, Harry would be doing much worse than you are."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Ruth said, getting a clean blouse out of her wardrobe. "He isn't hard," she added. "He's really easy to love."

"Who? Harry or the kid?" Adam asked.

"Oh Jamie definitely," Ruth said. "Harry, on the other hand, he takes a bit of getting used to." Adam laughed and she smiled slightly. She was about to say something but she gasped as Harry's fingertips traced her spine under her shirt. The fact he was doing it one handed told her he was holding Jamie before she turned around. Both of them looked very content, Harry especially as his eyes ran down the gap in her blouse which she hadn't yet done up.

"I get the feeling you're distracted," Adam said. "I'll see you Monday." Before she could even say goodbye she heard the dialling tone and threw the phone down on the bed.

"Enjoying yourself?" Ruth asked.

"Ger," Jamie said interrupting as he stared at her face. Ruth stroked his cheek feeling an ache in her heart at the same time.

"Would you do me a favour?" Harry asked, his eyes going up and down her body, not quite ready to focus on her face. "Can you go into the grid and make sure everything's tied up after yesterdays nightmare? I would do it, but I want to spend some time with Jamie. Is that okay?"

"Course I will," she replied. She stroked Jamie's head and then finished getting dressed as Harry watched her. As she picked up her bag she realised that Jamie was grizzling, gearing up for a big cry. She decided to make a swift exit and as soon as she closed the door Jamie started crying. Harry sighed, getting a taste of what Ruth went through the night before.

"You can't possibly be hungry," Harry said, "Ruth just fed you." Realising he wouldn't get any logic from a screaming baby, he did his best to calm him down. Eventually he followed Ruth's behaviour the night before. He undid his shirt and rested Jamie against his chest. Sure enough the trick worked and Harry smiled as the pale face of his son rested against the scarred skin of his body. He loved how the most important people in his life didn't care about the state of his skin, when he'd always felt slightly self conscious. He sat down in a chair and closed his eyes for a second, thinking of Ruth and Rose.

The first time Rose had seen him, she had been shocked. She had known the outlines of what he did for a living but not so much so that it had marked his skin so many ways so permanently. She had traced the lines gently and lovingly. He only noticed now, because of the way Ruth treated him, that Rose had always avoided the gunshot wound Tom Quinn had given him. Not the first time but in the slowly waking moments the morning after, Ruth had run her fingers over the puckered scar tissue slowly, taking her time. She had then planted a kiss over the worst of it and gently rested her head there without mentioning it once. He loved that about her. In fact, he loved everything about her. He would make a move and actually marry her. There was nothing he wanted more.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks to everyone sticking with it! xxx<em>


	24. Chapter 24

That night Ruth was washing her face with the bathroom door open as Harry watched her. "Everything's fine," Ruth said, referring to work as she looked at her face in the mirror. "Looks like the Queen will be discharged tomorrow."

"That's good," Harry said. "Thank God she didn't actually die. I think that would probably have been my job gone."

"How patriotic," Ruth said sarcastically.

"No, I just love working with you," he said. She caught his eyes in the mirror and smiled. Turning and closing the bathroom door she snuggled into bed next to Harry. His hands went around her waist, immediately lifting the hem of the vest she wore to sleep in, fingers teasing skin.

"You're keen," she said as she settled into the pillows.

"I want to marry you," he said simply as he held her waist tightly. She turned her head so she could catch his eyes.

"You did propose to me," she reminded him. "I assumed you wanted to marry me at some point."

"I know, but I… I want you to be my wife as soon as possible. Its that simple."

"I love it when you say that," she admitted with a smile. "Wife."

"I did take the liberty of booking the registry office for Wednesday night," Harry said almost shyly. "It isn't set in stone and I can cancel if you don't want to, or you want a big white wedding." He stopped speaking when Ruth pressed her lips to his, in an intense kiss.

"I would love to marry you on Wednesday," she replied. "I do have to bring it up, but does it bother you about… the fact that I'll probably never have children?"

"I'd say it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it hurts you." Ruth nodded because that was a very accurate description. She tried to wrap her legs around his but felt something in the way. Reaching under the covers she pulled out one of James's teddies and threw it on the floor as Harry laughed. "I love you for the way you treat that little boy, you know that?"

"He is gorgeous," Ruth said. "I know I'm repeating myself but its true. And I don't want to be the wicked step mother."

"Impossible," he said kissing her neck lightly. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensations he was creating through her skin. Needless to say, neither of them got a lot of sleep that night.

* * *

><p>Ruth had got into work early, because she had a lot to do and not much time to do it. She spent about an hour looking for simple wedding dresses in London, places that would reserve them for her to try on when she'd finished at work. It was proving difficult but one small bridal shop had agreed to keep three of her choices in her size until she could leave the grid an try them on. Satisfied with her progress she took down the address and then started to work on the residue of the royal attempted assassination. The queen had indeed been discharged and flown back to Buckingham palace, now with triple the amount of guards on standby.<p>

By the time she'd become absorbed in her work the grid was filling up again. She looked up as Adam passed by her. "Aren't you a little overdressed?" he asked with a small smirk. She blushed but didn't bother replying except with a smile. Jo seemed confused at this little comment but neither elaborated.

"Jo, what are you doing Wednesday night?" Ruth asked easily, hiding how important the reason was.

"Nothing to my knowledge," Jo said. "Why?"

"Harry and I are getting married," she said with a smile.

"Oh that's great!" Jo said enthusiastically, a huge smile on her face. "You're doing that pretty quickly."

"It feels like its been the longest engagement ever," Ruth said honestly. "Its nothing fancy, quick registry office affair."

"Tell me you're wearing a white dress though," Jo said. Ruth smiled at the younger woman's idea that a non white dress was horribly wrong for a wedding.

"I'm looking at something cream," Ruth said. "Not properly white, but close enough."

"Good," Jo said, getting back to work. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I," Ruth said, her face breaking out into a wide smile.

* * *

><p>There was a lot of paperwork to fill out, so Ruth didn't get out until nearly six in the evening. She rushed to the shop just as the sign flicked over to closed. Ruth knocked on the door and the saleswoman did not look happy.<p>

"Oh come on," Ruth said. "I'm only ten minutes late." The woman unlocked the door and let Ruth in. "Thank you," she said sincerely. It took about five minutes for the saleswoman to realise that this wasn't a demanding bride. She wasn't the normal showy woman who wanted everything her way for her dream wedding. She softened visibly towards Ruth by the time she started to try on her choices.

"I don't need the other two," Ruth said as she came out of the changing room, wearing her cream dress. She looked in the mirror and loved it. A floor length silk dress that fell straight to the floor. It had crystals on her chest that shimmered whenever she moved and her arms were completely bare. She loved it. With one hand she gathered her hair off of her face, how she planned to wear it in two days time. She needed a nice necklace with it but it was exactly what she wanted. Not too white and not too fluffy.

"Thank you," Ruth told the sales woman who actually cracked a smile.

* * *

><p>Back at home, Ruth carried her dress in, hidden in its box as Harry watched her. "Successful trip?" he asked with a smile. The way her face lit up with happiness was answer enough for him. She dropped the box on the table and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a slow kiss.<p>

"Very," she said. "Much less shocking than the last time I went wedding dress shopping." Harry looked mollified at that but settled it with another kiss. "How was Jamie?"

"Learnt to wave," Harry said with pride. "I got a picture."

"You actually had a camera?" she asked. "I'm impressed." Harry showed her the pictures and Ruth smiled. He wasn't exactly waving, he had raised his hand above his head and was looking at the camera but Ruth wasn't going to mention that. "So are you ready to get married in the next forty eight hours?" Ruth asked.

"Mm," Harry agreed. "Taken about five years too long but absolutely." He kissed her slowly in a way that made her weak at the knees. She was looking forward to Wednesday.


	25. Chapter 25

Ruth woke up with a big smile on her face. Today wasn't about Rose or Jamie or anyone else. Today was the day she was going to marry the man she loved more than anything in the world. Today was about them. She hadn't got much further in her silent happiness when Harry rolled over and kissed her sleepily. "Mm, good morning," Harry whispered before kissing her again. He smiled at her, truly happy. "The last day I'm going to wake up next to Miss Evershed."

"That sounds good," she replied happily. Her eyes were sparkling as he drew her in for another kiss. She felt comfortably squashed when he rolled on top of her, pushing her into the soft mattress. "We'll never get into work if you carry on like this," she whispered in the single moment her lips were free.

"Oh well, they'll manage," Harry said as hands started wandering.

_(Insert M rated piece here)_

At that moment the phone rang, breaking through their wonderful bubble of warm happiness. Ruth's upper body was on Harry's chest so she leaned across him and picked up the phone. "Yes?"

"Ruth," Adam's voice said blankly. "I wanted Harry."

So do I she refrained from saying with difficulty. "Adam, we are getting married tonight. Can you give us a ten minute lay in?"

"Two hours," Adam grumbled. Ruth looked at the clock at was shocked to see the time.

"Ah, I hadn't noticed," she said. "We have genuinely just woken up," she added. Now that Harry's breathing had come back to normal he took the phone from her.

"Mr Carter, my fiancé is currently lying naked on top of me. Do you really need to occupy us on the phone, or can you give us an hour?"

"Harry!" Ruth squealed, not liking Adam to have that mental image in his mind. She hit his chest playfully as Harry quickly disconnected the call. "What the hell would make you say that?"

"Well, its true," Harry said, holding her body against his as she struggled. "He was interrupting."

"I'll never be able to look him in the face again! He's already seen me shirtless, he's going to think I'm some kind of hussy!"

"No he doesn't," Harry said, stroking her hair. "Anyway, the affair he was having with the Iranian consul's wife means he'll keep his mouth shut."

"He had an affair with…" Ruth tailed off as she considered that. Harry let her go as she started to get dressed, knowing that their happy morning had been broken. Harry sighed as her beautiful skin became covered by material. They should go to work anyway.

* * *

><p>Ruth couldn't look at Adam all day. But by the time that evening came around she was past caring. All she could look at and think about was Harry. As she walked down the aisle in her beautiful cream dress, a single white rose shining against her dark hair all she could see was Harry's face smiling at her. He looked so handsome in his fresh suit and in spite of everything, she felt so lucky. She felt special when his eyes sparkled at her, knowing he didn't look at any other woman this way. Not even her whose name wasn't going to be mentioned today. As he held her hand tightly and they repeated their vows, she felt her eyes welling up with unexplainable tears of happiness.<p>

The cold metal of the ring Harry slid over her finger, sitting next to her engagement ring felt right at home and she briefly curled her fingers, loving how it felt against her skin. Her hands grasped his as she returned the favour and put his wedding ring where it would always stay for the rest of his life. She let the ring settle there and then looked at his face. His eyes were running over every inch of her face as if she was the most precious thing alive.

"You may now kiss the bride."

"I love you," Harry whispered before gently setting his lips on hers. Neither heard Adam's wolf whistle or Malcolm and Jo's loud clapping. All they heard was their own pulses thundering through their bloodstreams. It was a longer kiss than they had ever shared in public before. When they parted their smiles were massive. They quickly signed the wedding licence before leaving the registry office, feeling that no newly wed couple had ever been so happy.

* * *

><p>Ruth unlocked the door of their house and bent down to pick up the post out of habit. "Leave it," Harry said as his lips kissed the back of her neck, a hand. She allowed herself to enjoy his touch when something caught her eye.<p>

"Wait." Harry sighed and she opened the envelope which had caught her eye. It had been hand delivered which is why she spotted it. She opened it and pulled out a card with a bright red cartoon train on the front. Ruth laughed as she flipped it open, Harry looking over her shoulder.

_Harry and Ruth. Congratulations. Apologies for the inappropriate card but it was Jamie's favourite. Best wishes Rose._

Beneath the message was a messy red handprint from Jamie. "That is really sweet," Ruth said, her animosity towards Rose fading with the happy occasion of the day. Harry looked at it with a smile but let it flutter to the floor with the rest of the post.

"I'm going to make love to my wife tonight," he said in that seductive voice he knew she couldn't resist. "All night long and into the early morning. Right now, I don't want to talk about Jamie." Ruth smiled as he leaned down for a slow soft kiss, one filled with promise and expectation for the long evening ahead.

* * *

><p><em>Needless to say, there will be an M rated chapter after the end of this. Just giving it a polish. This is the last chapter I'm going to post until next week. I'm going on holiday! Please leave a review if you have a spare second.<em>


	26. Chapter 26

_Well, I am back from my break and had a great time! Also I've worked out the plotting and the timeline for this story, so enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Harry and Ruth had decided to take the Thursday off of work and they spent the majority of it in bed, lazy and being generally happy that they had finally become husband and wife.<p>

On Friday morning they both came into work, only slightly late. Ruth shrugged her coat off and then sat down.

"Good morning Mrs Pearce," Jo said to her left. Ruth smiled, feeling very happy as she switched her computer on.

"I could get very used to that," she admitted to her friend.

"Good job you married him then," Jo replied succinctly.

"So what did I miss yesterday?" Ruth asked as she started sifting through her emails.

"I daresay your day was more eventful than ours," Jo said making her blush as she remembered the very enjoyable and long hours spent in bed with Harry yesterday.

"Well I'm glad you didn't have a major terrorist outrage while we were absent," Ruth replied as Adam came onto the grid.

"Hello Mrs Pearce," he said, a typical Adam like grin on his face.

"Are the two of you ever going to call me Ruth again?" she asked with a smile.

"Give it time and they'll get bored," Malcolm said as he approached her. "This is for you." He handed her an envelope and she sighed.

"Malcolm, we said no gifts," she said firmly.

"The two of you are worth it," Malcolm replied. Ruth reached for him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you."

"Watch it or Harry'll get jealous," Adam said as he passed her. She let go of Malcolm and took up her seat. She zoned out of the friendly banter and froze as a video managed to pop up through her MI5 firewall.

"I need Harry," she said in a quiet voice.

"Alright, no need to broadcast it," Jo said with a snigger.

"Someone get Harry now!" she said loudly and everyone seemed to realise that this wasn't a joke at exactly the same moment. Adam went to fetch him as Malcolm, Tariq and Jo gathered around her computer to see the video that had managed to put itself on a repeating loop.

It looked like grainy CCTV image, except that it was zoomed on Rose's front door. Even seeing it twice already she held to the belief that it wouldn't happen. She saw Rose holding tightly to Jamie as she was led out of the house by three thugs who weren't bothering to hide their faces. It was hard to see from the video but Ruth was pretty sure a gun was pressed into Rose's back as she was led to a white van, all the while clutching her son. Ruth closed her eyes as the van drove off and the video atomatically restarted itself.

"Find out where they've taken my son," Harry said from behind her in the hardest voice she had ever heard from him. "Tariq, you work on finding out how the hell they managed to get this video through MI5 security. Malcolm, you trace the van and try and find out where they are and what they want. Jo, you do face recognition on those bastards. Give her a hand Adam until I need you out on the streets." Everyone got quickly to work except Ruth who hadn't been given a job. She turned her chair around to Harry and tried to communicate without words what she wanted to say.

"My office," he said succinctly. She quickly followed him and as soon as the door slid shut, Harry pulled her into his arms, the pair of them breathing heavily as he roughly felt her over. "Thank God you're safe," he said hoarsely.

"But Jamie isn't," Ruth said almost desprately. "What are we going to do if…"

"Do not finish that sentence," he demanded. "I can't think of anything bad happening to him so please don't voice it."

"Okay," she quietly agreed. "I think we should get a team over to Rose's house. See if they left anything behind or there's anything out of place."

"Good idea," Harry said. "Can you make sure that's done?"

"Are you just going to sit here and feel sorry for yourself?"

"Ruth…"

"Sorry," she added. "I'm worried about him too."

"I know you are." Harry looked over her shoulder staring into the distance. "I don't know what I'll do if they hurt him."

"They wouldn't have gone through the bother of taping it if they were going to kill them straight away," Ruth said.

"You're right," he said. "Get to work," he added in a soft voice, and they both knew their honeymoon was over.


	27. Chapter 27

"This was at the house," Ruth said holding up a DVD disk as everyone gathered around her. Not much progress had been made otherwise with face recognition turning up nothing except hired bodyguards / thugs. The disk whirred up and it showed another video. A dark room with a balaclava covered man appeared. He was however speaking so Harry silently indicated to work on the voice recognition. Tariq got to work almost before the words "Harry Pearce" had left the assailants mouth.

"As you are well aware we have taken something that belongs to you," the man said. He had an English accent was Harry's only thought beneath the anger bubbling away inside him.

"At the moment both your son and your wife are safe." Everyone stared at Ruth. Someone had clearly been misinformed and had acted on wrong information. "I want you to do exactly what I say and neither of them will be harmed. Otherwise, I can promise you they will die a horribly painful death, even the child. I have no qualms hurting children." Harry was leaning over Ruth to see the screen and she felt his hand tighten painfully on her shoulders.

"We want a canister of an experimental new drug we know is being developed in England. Its name is Triscadecal-propylene. Give me a canister and get your family back. Oh, and if it's a national concern of yours, we aren't planning to use this WMD in England. It will be used overseas. Won't tell you where, it might ruin the surprise. I'll call the Thames House front desk using the name Albatross. I expect to be put through to you directly. I'll be hearing from you soon."

"Get me something," Harry demanded as the screen went black.

"What's the gas he's after?" Ruth asked "What does it do?"

"Kills you quickly, leaving behind no trace of how you died. It also spreads like wildfire. If you breathe it in, you're unconscious within five minutes, dead in thirty. We were developing a secret weapon to hold as a threat against other nations. It was never intended to be actually be used. I'd like to know how they found out about it."

"Victor West," Malcolm said as the voice recognition worked its magic. "Used to work for the government between 1999 and 2004 in the lower echelons. Clearly an old friend has been talking to him and letting lose some national secrets. Tariq's working on getting property information on him."

"Good," Harry said, liking the speed this was going. Adam was studying Ruth with a wary look on his face.

"Something you'd like to say?" Ruth asked icily. Harry watched them and it was clear that whatever it was he didn't want to speak in front of Harry. Ruth looked between both men and sighed, leaving the grid as Adam followed closely.

"What is it? I'm busy," Ruth said briefly.

"Harry isn't thinking clearly," Adam started. "He's too close to it. I need you to…"

"Don't even think it," Ruth said in a dangerously low voice that Adam was more used to hearing from her husband. "I am not persuading him to hand this over to anyone else, not even you. He won't trust anyone else to get his child out of this, and you know it."

"He'd trust you," Adam said.

"No he wouldn't," Ruth replied. "Well, yes he would if he had to but he has to do this himself, its who he is, Adam. What if it was Wes?"

"I'd want to rip the bastards apart," Adam said accurately. "But that might not be the best way to get everyone out alive. I know you don't like Rose but don't let Harry sacrifice her to get James out alive."

"Jamie," Ruth corrected automatically. "I wouldn't be complicit in her murder, you know me better than that. If my jealousy led to her death, how would I ever face Harry? Knowing that I'd killed the competition because I didn't trust him. I do trust him and even though at moments the jealousy that she has a child with my husband eats me alive, I don't wish her ill. Is that all or can I get back to work?"

Adam nodded and watched her leave. He was about to follow when he realised that Harry had been listening to the entire conversation. Both men faced each other as Harry emerged from the shadows and nothing was said as they returned to the grid.

* * *

><p>"Got it!" Tariq shouted. "An abandoned outhouse has been rented by one of Victor West's shadow companies about six months ago but its never been used for any purpose. Its all I can find, they have to be there."<p>

"Where is it?" Ruth asked.

"Twenty five miles north of London," Malcolm replied. The words "Have CO19 meet us there" never left Harry's mouth as the phone rang. Harry picked it up silently.

"Mr Pearce, do I have your attention yet?" Victor's now familiar voice said on speaker phone.

"I need to know they are alive," Harry replied instantly.

"Patience," Victor said sounding horrifically amused. "Have you got the WMD I asked for?"

"Yes," Harry lied instantly and easily. "But I am not going anywhere near you until you prove to me they are both alive." A long pause in the conversation and then he heard Rose.

"Harry?"

"Is Jamie okay?" Harry asked instantly. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she replied breathing heavily. "We're both fine."

"I can't hear him," Harry said.

"Harry, he has just stopped crying, I am not waking him just for you." Harry nodded, knowing that if anything horrible had happened she wouldn't have been able to keep her composure like that.

"I'll be there soon," he said.

"I'm glad to hear it," Victor said in his amused voice. "The DVD you picked up has a hidden GPS inside it. Take it with you and drive north out of London. I'll call you with more information when you're on the way. And only call in the cavalry if you want bullet holes in everyone you love. I wouldn't recommend it." He disconnected the call and Harry closed his eyes. When he opened them he found Tariq studying the disc, looking for the hidden GPS. Harry snatched it from him before the young techie could marvel about the brilliance of the creation.

"Adam I want you to follow me, and I want CO19 on standby. They are to go nowhere near Victor West until I say so. Is that clear?"

"I'm coming with you," Ruth said firmly.

"No, I want you safe," Harry replied instantly, the thought of her in danger being terrifying to him.

"Like hell I'm letting you risk your life for them while I'm stuck here," Ruth said heading towards the pods. "It isn't happening."

"Ruth…"

"Argue with me in the car, we're wasting time," Ruth said. Harry followed her and Adam decided the wisest course of action was to follow, but he was going to take his own car. He didn't want to get caught in a marital dispute.

* * *

><p><em>More soon ish!<em>


	28. Chapter 28

_Just a short update but you were all so lovely and wonderful with your reviews so hope this doesn't disappoint._

* * *

><p>"I don't want you here," Harry said as they paused at a set of traffic lights less than five minutes after they'd got in the vehicle.<p>

"Well you'll have to physically throw me from the car because I am not leaving," Ruth said. "I may not be his mother, his parent, or anything really, but I love Jamie, and I am not waiting on the grid for you to call in while I'm terrified for both him and you, I'll go insane. I love both of you too much. Please don't suggest it again."

"Okay," Harry said giving in way too easily. She looked at him as he drove waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Are you jealous of Rose?"

"Adam told you," Ruth replied blankly. "I thought I could trust him."

"He didn't tell me, I overheard pieces of your conversation. Answer the question."

"Of course I am," Ruth said. "I love you, and I know that you love me. That isn't the problem, and ever since you danced with me last year at the ball, it never has been. I love that I'm married to you too. I don't want you to doubt that. I do have moments when I am so jealous of what she has with you."

"She doesn't have anything with me anymore," Harry said.

"She does, of course she does," Ruth replied. "The two of you share a child, that means you have a relationship with her, as much as I hate it. I don't want you to think I spend my days hating her because I don't. But I have moments. Flashes of jealousy. Surprise Harry, I'm human. When Jamie does something cute or special, I feel so much love and I feel like he makes me melt and he makes me smile. But then I remember he isn't really mine and that I have to share him. It makes me ache. At times it hurts, it just does Harry. I daresay with time it'll get better, and I am planning on sticking around a good long while yet."

He said nothing but reached across and squeezed her leg reassuringly. There was nothing he could say to make this better or make her feelings change so he stayed silent. All he could do was love her the best way he could and over time it would get better. If he hadn't been driving he would have kissed her. As it was he had to make do with holding her hand.

"Lets just focus on getting him safe," Ruth said.

"You're not going to stay in the car when we get there are you?" Harry said, correctly interpreting her intentions.

"No." Harry nodded sadly. "I can't."

"If its possible, I want you to take Jamie and get out of there while I stay for Rose."

"Okay," Ruth said looking at her clasped hands, her wedding ring glinting in the light.

"Its not because of her," Harry added, taking his eyes away from the road to look at her for a few seconds. "Its because the two of you are more important. I want the two people I love most safe. I'm replaceable, you aren't."

"You are not replaceable," Ruth said firmly, her eyes focusing on him as he concentrated on the road.

"I love you so much for thinking that," Harry said. Silence spread between them and they both flinched when the phone rang. Ruth answered it and put it on speaker.

"I see you are on your way," Victor's voice said.

"Yes," Harry said shortly.

"You'll need to turn right at the next junction." In the silence Ruth looked at the directions Malcolm had sent through to them on her mobile and nodded. They were heading in the right direction and Tariq's guess had been right. Ruth closed her eyes as they headed ever closer to Jamie and Rose, both staying silent all the way there.


	29. Chapter 29

Harry pulled the car up, the crunching gravel stopping, making everything deadly silent. He knew Adam was following and before he got there Harry reached across for Ruth and kissed her. She was slightly surprised but after a moment gave herself up to his touch. It wasn't about passion or want, it was about safety and reassurance. Adam pulled up next to them and Ruth reluctantly left his soft touch, the echo of feeling still on her lips. Adam knocked on Harry's window and they both got out of the car, but not before he reached into the glove compartment and made sure his hand gun was loaded, tucking it in his jacket.

"I want you to stay out here," Harry said to Adam. "If you hear anything like shots, I want you to call reinforcements and then follow us, in that order."

"But…" Adam looked between Ruth and Harry as their body language made it clear that she was going to follow Harry, and would until the ends of the earth.

"Before you say she isn't a field agent, I agree with you," Harry said. "But she's also my wife. And she won't be stopped. Reason doesn't seem to enter her mind."

"We don't have time for this," Ruth said, gripping Harry's arm tightly.

"That I agree with," Adam said. He leaned against his car, watching Harry and Ruth approach the building with wariness. About ten paces from the door Harry's phone rang.

"You came with company," Victor said icily.

"Just to make sure you keep your word," Harry replied, his fingers lacing with Ruth's as the sunlight disappeared into the dark confines of the hallway.

"One of my guards is watching that blonde man by the car, and if he makes a move to call anyone, I will not hesitate in shooting the beautiful blonde currently with me. And the very sweet blue eyed baby boy too."

"He won't," Harry said, gripping Ruth's hand even tighter. They approached a door which had two body guards outside who didn't move an inch when they saw them. "Are you going to let me in?"

"Tell me who is the charming brunette?" Victor asked. "What are you taking Harry? Beautiful women seem drawn to you for some reason."

"Let us in and I'll tell you," Harry said. He waited and clearly the guards had been given a signal because one of them opened the door (reinforced steel Harry was disappointed to see) and they were ushered inside.

"So, who is she?" Victor asked, as their eyes were adjusting to the dim light. Ruth looked around and could see Rose gripping Jamie tightly, who amazingly looked asleep. Apart from them, there was only one guard in the room, who was however holding a very large gun.

"Someone's been giving you incorrect information," Harry said after he'd seen Jamie's hand curl into a fist in his sleep. He was still alive, that much was a relief to him. "The charming brunette, as you call her is my wife." Rose was watching them intently, her eyes going from Harry to Ruth to Victor West in quick succession and then back again. "Rose isn't wearing a wedding ring, was that not a clue?"

"Yet you still came," Victor said once this had sunk in. "Why bother if I was wrong?" Everyone's eyes were drawn to the sleeping child who was nuzzling into his mothers chest.

"Ah, so I wasn't completely wrong," Victor said with a smile. "Blimey Harry Pearce, you do get through them don't you."

"Give Jamie to me and you'll get your triscadecal-propylene," Harry said.

"And lose my biggest bargaining chip?" Victor said. "I don't think so. Give me the propylene." The room was crackling with so much tension that it was as if no one was even breathing.

"Let them go." Everyone turned surprised as it was Ruth who had spoken in a quiet voice.

"Let them go and take me instead."

"No," Harry said instantly, incapable of refraining. His arms tightened around Ruth's waist unwilling or unable to let her go. "You can't do this," he whispered.

"I can," she said, her eyes boring into his. "What has that little six week old beautiful boy ever done wrong? Take me instead," Ruth said to Victor West. The man looked between both women and the baby, seeming to try and make up his mind between them.

* * *

><p><em>I hadn't expected it to take this twist but anyway... I know I'm mean for leaving it there but the rest isn't written yet! Please leave a review as I am typing away as quick as possible. xxx<em>


	30. Chapter 30

Harry felt a thrill of pure fear. Ruth had offered herself to keep the child safe, when she knew full well he had no triscadecal-propylene to trade to save her. He looked her straight in the eye and could tell that she knew what this meant and she was going to do it anyway. Victor appeared thrilled with this turn of events and was glancing between the women. Then he seemed to realise that something was wrong.

"You don't have it do you?" Victor said. The silence was as good as an admission. Suddenly everything was happening very quickly. Victor reached for Rose, simply because she was closer and held a gun to her head as the two guards reached for Ruth and held her arms tightly behind her back. Harry was left looking on at everyone feeling a cold sense of dread in the pit of his stomach.

"No, please don't!" Rose cried out, terrified as she felt the barrel of a gun at her head. Ruth stayed silent as she felt a gun pointing at her back, nudging painfully into her spine To make matters worse Jamie had just started crying at the unexpected noise and it was clear that Victor found the noise annoying. Harry could see this spinning out of control and desperately hoped Adam was calling reinforcements.

To his left, a gun was held to Rose's head. Rose, who was holding his screaming son. To his right, Ruth was looking at him, shockingly calmly as she was flanked by bodyguards. The only clue to how serious this was, was the extra glistening of tears not yet shed in her blue eyes. Please don't make me choose, Harry silently begged whichever higher power was listening. Harry suddenly had a slight inkling of a plan. As Victor watched him, he reached for his gun in his inside pocket, very, very slowly. He flinched as Victor fired a bullet into the wall of the room. Harry made sure no one was hurt and then looked at Ruth who had her eyes shut tight and was shaking visibly. Harry raised both of his hands in the air, but the first part had worked. He knew it would have been a hell of a risk but Adam would have heard the shot.

"Why do you want the propylene so badly?" Harry asked trying to keep him talking and distracted. "Why do you want to commit mass murder so atrocious that it could destroy a small country within 24 hours?"

"Its beyond you," Victor said snidely.

"Try me," Harry said, conscious of the fact that a gun was still at Rose's head, and if she died, she would probably drop their son onto the concrete floor, something he desperately wanted to avoid. Not that he wanted Rose to die, but his son took priority. He couldn't even look at Ruth.

"Macau." Victor said to completely blank looks from everyone, except Ruth who seemed to know what he was talking about immediately. "You've never even heard of it have you?"

"Its in China," Harry said, but other than that he had no idea.

"It isn't in China," Victor said. "We are an independent state nation, not Chinese."

"You are English anyway," Harry replied.

"I love this tiny little country surrounded by a tyranical Chinese," Victor said. "And you have no idea what's happening to it do you?"

"Its fighting for its independence from the peoples republic of China," Ruth interrupted. "It ran its own separate administration for several years but within the last six months its been raided and the Chinese officials, who want to rule over the state of Macau and take away its freedom. The fight for independence is getting increasingly bloody and violent with no end in sight."

"Clever as well as beautiful," Victor said, impressed that she knew so much about Macau's history and politics. He hadn't expected that.

"But Harry's right, you're English so why does it bother you?"

"Ah-lam Chao," Victor replied. He seemed unable to stop speaking now his story had started and Jamie's tears had calmed down. "I loved her so much. She was beautiful but I had to leave her because my visa ran out. I was working out how to get back over there when the invasion happened. She was kidnapped, tortured, repeatedly raped and finally murdered by the Chinese. They took ten days to kill her. I am going to Beijing with the triscadecal-propylene to exact revenge on her killers. I need you to give it to me."

"Victor, I can't get access to it," Harry admitted, tensing when he saw his grip on the gun tighten. "Its highly experimental and an unstable chemical. It needs to be kept in freezing conditions so it doesn't explode in your face. Even if I could get my hands on it in such a short time frame, I wouldn't… I couldn't give it to you. One canister could take out the whole of China. A few grams is enough to kill a dozen people immediately and then be transmitted onto others in an endless cycle as an antidote hasn't been developed yet. A canister would kill thousands, and within days possibly millions. Even if you murder everyone in this room, I can't give it to you." Silence followed this statement, even from Jamie who seemed to understand how important it was to stay quiet. No one moved an inch for minutes upon minutes.

They were still at this stalemate when the door burst open with a massive bang. A single shot was fired from Victor before numerous gunshots sprayed the room in all directions and Ruth dropped to the floor out of instinct. CO19 quickly killed Victor and the bodyguards and eventually the noise stopped, leaving only a faint ringing in Ruth's ears. As soon as she felt sure it was safe enough to move, she hurried over to Rose, ignoring Victor lying dead beside her and the back up team checking over the assailants, making sure they were indeed dead.

Ruth was terrified because Jamie was completely silent. As Ruth turned the woman over she saw why Rose wasn't moving. There was a huge hole in her head and there was no way she could have survived that. Ruth didn't waste time looking at the gruesome mess of Rose's head, instead she took Jamie from her arms, his white baby blanket splattered with his mothers blood.

"Come on little boy," Ruth murmured rocking him, willing him to cry. He had his eyes closed and was horribly silent. Just when she was beginning to fear the worst she heard him snuffle into her shirt and then scream at the top of his lungs. Ruth had never been so happy to hear a baby cry in her entire life. By the time Jamie started bawling Harry was at her shoulder.

"How is he?"

"As far as I can tell he's fine," Ruth said as his petrified screams calmed into normal baby crying, as Jamie was being held by someone he knew.

"The blood?" Harry asked seeing the stains on the blanket.

"Rose," Ruth replied briefly and they shared a look. Harry kissed Jamie's head and then crouched down on the floor, turning Rose over. Ruth heard his intake of breath as he saw the fact that she was clearly dead, blood matting her blonde hair gruesomely. Ruth couldn't bring herself to look at Harry so she focused on the baby, making sure his crying was calming down. Meanwhile Harry leaned over Rose and quietly whispered, "I'll look after him, I promise." Jamie had curled a fist in Ruth's hair and was pulling uncomfortably hard. She detached herself with difficulty from his firm grip, and by that time Harry had straightened up and was looking at them both sadly. She looked at him and gasped.

"Harry! You've been shot!"

"I'm fine," he said looking at his left arm briefly, blood staining his shirt. "The bullet went straight through." He reached for Jamie, even with the pain Ruth knew he must be feeling and carried his son with barely a grimace. Ruth felt slightly put out when Jamie stopped crying the instant his father held him. Harry made sure Jamie was okay before turning to Ruth.

"Are you okay?" he asked as if the thought had just occurred to him.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied. "Last person you think to ask about but I'm fine," she added as they left the gruesome room and sunlight hit their eyes. Adam was waiting by the car and he let out a sigh of relief when he saw them alive.

"Rose?" Adam asked. Ruth shook her head and Adam sighed with regret.

"You know that isn't true," Harry said to Ruth in response to her last comment, wincing as Jamie's hand brushed his wound on his arm. "I think I must have passed out for a few seconds when I was shot because by the time I opened my eyes you were already holding Jamie. I guessed you couldn't be too injured."

"I'm sorry about Rose," Ruth said quietly as the three of them got in the car, leaving Adam to deal with the scene of the crime.

"So am I," he said with feeling, that made Ruth slightly jealous. "One day I'm going to have to explain to him what happened to his mother. I don't look forward to that event."

Ruth hadn't even thought of that and felt guilty at her jealousy she had felt the minute before. "If it was you who had just died, I'd still be in there holding you," he added, knowing what she was thinking. She caught his eyes in silent acknowledgement of the fact. "Don't ever do that again," Harry said. "Try and trade your life away."

"It was the only thing I could think of to do," Ruth admitted. "I wanted him safe, and I didn't want anyone to die either. But if someone had to, I thought it would be better if it were me."

"Don't ever say that again," Harry said. Jamie was resting against his chest and his injured arm. With his free hand he cupped Ruth's face and made her look at him. "I can't live without you," he whispered. "Please don't make me try."

Ruth nodded and said nothing else as she drove home carefully.

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><p><em>The country of Macau does exist but I've completely invented the oppression Victor described. I felt he needed to have a reason for doing this. Do let me know what you think and massive thanks to the reviewers so far. xxx<em>


	31. Chapter 31

_Clearly I'm making up for last weeks writing gap by writing like a fiend today. Hope you enjoy this next instalment and there's more on the way._

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><p>On the journey home, Jamie rested on Harry's lap with wide eyes staring at his father because the car seat happened to be in Ruth's car. When she stopped the car outside their house she looked at Harry doubtfully.<p>

"You should go and get checked out at a hospital," she said as they sat in the car.

"It didn't hit or fracture the bone, it'll be fine," he said exasperated. The last thing he felt like doing was being poked and prodded by a doctor. He'd much rather have Ruth take care of him anyway, especially as it wasn't serious.

"But…"

"I've been shot at enough to know where it can be fatal," Harry said. "I can move my left hand so there's no nerve damage, just leave it please."

"Okay," she said, not wanting to argue with him. She knew that he'd be okay. Now that they'd stopped moving and she had nothing to concentrate on she felt the emotion of the day overwhelm her. She leant over the steering wheel and started sobbing her heart out.

"Hey, you're okay," Harry said as Jamie watched with wide eyes, wondering whether Ruth's distress meant he should start crying again. Harry held Jamie with his right arm and turned to Ruth, left hand touching her hair lightly. "You're okay," he kept repeating.

"I just… it was so close. And… that little boy now doesn't have a mother. I can't believe it, it isn't fair."

"He has you," Harry said. Ruth turned and looked at Jamie's sweet face.

"Its not the same though is it? Pass him here," Ruth said, wiping her tears away. Harry did and Ruth held the little boy who was looking at Ruth. She tapped his stomach with one hand while Harry watched curiously. Jamie gurgled at her happily and Ruth smiled.

"What are you drawing on him?" Harry asked curiously. Ruth looked at Harry and then back at her hand.

"Oh," Ruth said smiling. "The first time I changed him, he screamed bloody murder so I tapped the first thing I could think of. The opening bars of Mozart's "Bastien und Bastienne". It was running through my head at the time, and it just turned into a habit because it made him be quiet and he looked at me with a gorgeous Harry-like pout. I don't realise I'm doing it now." Harry silently marvelled at his wife's intelligence as they got out of the car. Nothing further was said until Jamie was safely changed and put in his cot. Ruth came downstairs and found Harry rummaging through his papers.

"What are you looking for?" Ruth asked bewildered as papers kept flying everywhere.

"You've just been shot, do you want to take it easy for a while?"

"This," he replied putting a stapled set of forms on the table. Ruth sat down and read the first few lines.

"How long have you had this?" she asked.

"About a week after Jamie was born," Harry replied. Ruth reread the title, seeing application of adoption. It already had her own details filled in as well as Jamie's. The fact that he had thought about this and had considered it enough to have already got the ball rolling meant the world to her.

"I wanted you to be a proper parent for him," Harry said. "And now that Rose is… I don't want him or you to be alone if something happens to me." Ruth gave every appearance of interrupting but Harry continued. "Do you really want him in the foster care system if I die? I don't."

"Nothings going to happen to you," she said firmly.

"Well I hope not," he said. "I've waited far too long to be with you to miss it all after only a year. But its just in case. I would hate for Jamie to be taken from you if I'm not around any longer."

"Rose is barely cold and you are bringing this up now?" Ruth said. She shook her head trying to think clearly.

"Its why I'm brining it up now," Harry said. "He loves you. You know he does. Especially when your fingers play Mozart on his chest." Ruth laughed once while thinking about it.

"Okay," she said. Ruth turned to the last page and quickly signed her name in the allocated space. She handed the forms back and Harry smiled.

"I'm glad you did that," he said. "I can breathe a little easier now."

"I hope you threw that baby blanket away," Ruth said, changing the subject.

"What do you take me for?" Harry asked. He walked through to the living room and sat down heavily. Ruth wasn't going to take no for an answer this time.

"Take your shirt off," she demanded wanting to see the extent of the damage.

"Can't wait until we're in bed can you?" Harry said trying to lighten the situation. The way Ruth looked at him told him that she didn't find it funny. He was silent as she efficiently unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. She gently pulled his arm so she could see properly and didn't say anything with difficulty. It was still bleeding slightly and dried blood was splotched all around it, making it look worse than it was. "Wait there." Harry didn't have the energy or the willpower to move so he closed his eyes. He opened them when he felt something cold on the undamaged flesh of his arm. Ruth was sponging off the dried blood gently. Harry ignored the bowl of water that was turning steadily pinker and pinker as she continued. When she reached the bullet wound she lightened her touch as much as she could but Harry groaned anyway. It hurt like hell, but he knew this was the alternative to going to hospital, and given the choice, he would always rather Ruth taking care of him.

"Sorry," she said.

"...s okay," he said almost sleepily. He was indeed drifting off when he felt Ruth's lips press softly against his own. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"I won't insist you go to the hospital," she said. "It didn't hit anything, you were right."

"Normally I'd be pleased you said that," Harry admitted. Ruth smiled.

"You should go upstairs because sleeping here isn't going to do you any favours." Harry nodded and moved with her help to their bedroom. He collapsed as Ruth helped remove the rest of his clothing and he was asleep the second his head hit the pillows. Ruth smiled sadly and ran a hand through his hair softly. "I love you," she whispered. "But I never wanted her to die. I feel horribly guilty you know?" No reaction, he was completely lost in sleep. At that moment she heard Jamie gurgling on the baby monitor and decided to cradle him before it turned into a full blown cry.

"Come on darling, your daddy needs sleep," Ruth said jiggling him up and down. "Ba!" Jamie said loudly, as if agreeing with her. Ruth looked into the cot and realised what the problem was and sighed. Harry had bought him a cricket blanket when he was born which he never slept without and it wasn't here. It must have been at Rose's. Ruth sighed, knowing this was going to be a long long night.


	32. Chapter 32

_I know that people were struggling to open and read ch 31 yesterday. I hope there's no problems with this one! Anyway, the people who did read it seemed keen on the Ruth and Jamie interaction so there's a bit more of it here. Enjoy._

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><p>With Jamie on her hip Ruth was rushing around the house, trying to collect everything she needed while Harry was still sleeping without James crying. He seemed to realise that he should be quiet because he wasn't letting a sound out, just waving his hand up and down as Ruth carried him. "Come on handsome," she said to the child. "I'm going to have to go and get some things for you from your mums." Ruth wasn't relishing the task but she knew that Jamie needed some things, and there was a limit to how long she could keep coaxing him back to sleep without his favourite blanket. She had left Harry a note on the pillows just in case he woke up, but he hadn't shifted once in the night an she thought he'd sleep until she got back. She quietly closed the door and nearly jumped in shock as Jo was on her doorstep.<p>

"God you scared me half to death," Ruth said as she fastened Jamie into his car seat. "Never heard of knocking?"

"You never bother at work, so I thought I'd try it," Jo said with a smirk. "How's Harry?"

"In pain," Ruth said. "He's still sleeping. We haven't really spoken about Rose yet. Too busy trying to settle Jamie and clean Harry's bullet wound."

"Didn't he go to hospital?" Jo asked shocked.

"No. If his wife can't convince him, I wouldn't try if I were you." Ruth said getting in the car. "Are you coming? I have to go." Jo nodded and got into the passenger seat as she turned the engine on.

"So where are you going?"

"Over to Rose's," Ruth said. "Jamie needs some things," she added briefly. "What happened yesterday?"

"Adam cleaned everything up," Jo said. "Rose's brother is organising the funeral."

"Okay," Ruth said. "I might have to bring Jamie onto the grid for about an hour after I've been to Rose's. I don't want to get behind and there's files I need to do my work from home. I want to look after both of them."

"Sure," Jo said. "How is he?" she added flicking her eyes in the rear view mirror.

"Fine at the moment. Its as if nothing happened to him yesterday," Ruth replied. "I feel so miserable when I think he's stuck with me instead of his mother."

"Harry would go insane if anything happened to you," Jo said, changing the subject slightly. "Adam told me that you tried to trade your life away. What were you thinking?"

"That Harry and Jamie were both more important than myself," Ruth said honestly. They drove in silence, both women glancing back at the boy watching the city whiz by. "Listen, I'll be quicker in there if I leave Jamie in the car. Can you stay with him for five minutes? Ten tops."

"Of course I will," Jo said as the car stopped. Ruth got the spare keys she'd grabbed before leaving home and opened the back door of the car to talk to Jamie.

"Listen, little man, I'm just going to be gone five minutes. Jo's going to look after you and I'll be right back. You'll be a good boy for me?" Jamie just looked at her and Ruth kissed the top of his head before shutting the door and heading to the house. As soon as she opened the door she felt like the house was stale, the air seemed too still and unnatural. Ruth didn't linger and picked up several things that Jamie would need, not even touching anything that had belonged to Rose. Somehow she felt it disrespectful, which was completely ridiculous.

In the car Jo had turned and was facing the little boy, feeling quite anxious. She'd never been alone with a child this small before. She reached back and stroked his head once and he looked at her as if he knew she had no idea what she was doing.

"I'm sorry that your mum isn't around anymore," Jo said to him, knowing that he couldn't understand a word. "But you do have the next best thing in Ruth. She adores you, and I promise she will never let you down. You're going to be the most loved little boy in the world. And I'll let you in on a little secret, I didn't think you'd make as much of an impression as you have done with her. Or at the very least, I thought it might take a few more months. But you are adorable, and you look like your dad. That might be a reason she can't resist you." Jo reached for him and pulled his foot lightly. His eyes went really wide and she felt him pulling against her. Jo smiled and reached for his other foot. He didn't quite have the coordination to kick yet so was sort of waving his feet in her general direction. Jo laughed and could see exactly why Ruth had fallen in love with this tiny little bundle of joy.

Jamie turned as Ruth opened the door and threw his cricket blanket at him. He looked at Ruth and then he smiled. Ruth nearly dropped her bag in surprise. "You clever boy!" Ruth cooed over him. He had never smiled before and she felt a little guilty that Harry was missing it. "He's never done that before," Ruth explained to Jo. She felt like she was about to cry with emotion. Unbuckling him from his car seat she lifted him into her arms and gave him a cuddle. At that moment her mobile rang but she didn't answer it, and let Jo do it.

"Jo? Where's Ruth?"

"Cuddling your son," Jo replied. "You want to speak to her?"

"Yeah put her on," Harry said. "Hi," he said when Ruth had been given the phone.

"Jamie is a genius but you missed it," Ruth said. "He was smiling at me, I feel so honoured and special."

"Oh, I wish you'd woken me now," Harry said, sounding horribly disappointed.

"He's only just done it, haven't you," Ruth said holding Jamie with one arm. She held the phone steadily as Jamie reached a hand out for it. "Ga!" Jamie gurgled, agreeing with her. "I'll be back home with him soon."

"Okay," Harry replied.

"How are you feeling?" she asked putting Jamie back in the car.

"Alright considering," he said. "I just ache a bit and I miss you."

"Take some painkillers and don't be stubborn about it," Ruth advised.

"Is that "wife" for I love you and I miss you too?" Harry asked a hint of cheekiness in his voice.

"I love you," she said, ignoring Jo for the moment and getting in the car, Jamie's things in the boot.

"Love you too, drive carefully."

"Bye." As they drove back Jo turned to her friend who had a massive smile on her face. "I seem to keep thinking that when he grows up he'll resent me for not being his mother, or think that I'm trying to replace her, which I suppose is true in its own way. The fact that he smiled at me… it means the world to me." Ruth could feel her eyes glistening with tears and she sniffed trying to hold it back.

"He looks like Harry you know," Jo said quietly after a minute or two of silence.

"Yeah, I know," Ruth replied. "Maybe I should hate that but I don't. I love him. Both of them," she corrected.

"I don't know if I could do what you're doing," Jo admitted. "Taking in his child with another woman and raising him like your own? I don't know if I could do it."

"Look at Jamie," Ruth said simply. "How can you not love him?" Jo nodded at the sweet little boy.

"Fair point," Jo said, and the three of them went home in happy silence.

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><p><em>I have written the end to this story but as long as people want more chapters, I'll put it off and write more HR/J stuff. What do you think? Finish it, or keep drawing it out? Thanks for reading and reviewing! xxx_


	33. Chapter 33

_I've rewritten this chapter several times so I hope I've got the emotion right here._

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><p>Ruth opened the door to find Harry waiting for her in the kitchen. He smiled at them and opened his arms for Jamie. Ruth hesitated, but only because of his bullet wound. "Be careful," she said handing over the little boy.<p>

"Of course I'll be careful with him," Harry said, surprised that she felt the need to say it.

"I'm worried about you, not him," Ruth said.

"I'm fine," Harry said as his eyes were drawn to his son.

"He wants feeding," Ruth said, grabbing the bottle and the formula for him as Harry cooed over Jamie.

"How could you smile for the first time without daddy there?" Harry said. "Its just not on little man."

"I did feel bad that you missed it," Ruth said handing Harry the bottle. He winced as he bent his arm but made no other complaint of pain as Jamie started sucking at the bottle hungrily, one of his hands balled in a tiny little fist.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Harry said, his eyes catching Ruth's as Jamie kept sucking at his bottle. "I don't like waking up without you here."

"I left you a note," Ruth said.

"I know," Harry said. "Just in the future, please wake me before you leave, it stops me from worrying about you."

"Okay," Ruth agreed after a moment. She leaned closer to him and kissed him. "Good morning," she whispered before pressing another light kiss to his lips. She tried to pull away but realised she couldn't. Harry looked at her and laughed because Jamie had his fist gripping her shirt. Ruth reached up and disentangled herself from the babies fingers.

"He likes you," Harry said with a smile.

"Good," Ruth said taking the now empty bottle from Harry as he shifted Jamie in his arms.

"Oh, Harry look!" Ruth said. Jamie was looking up at his father and his second smile was on his face.

"That's my clever boy!" Harry said raising him up and kissing the top of his head. Ruth laughed at them, feeling happy.

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><p>Later that evening Jamie was fast asleep and Harry and Ruth were sharing a bottle of wine, curled up together. Ruth reached up for him and kissed him slowly and was just starting to really enjoy herself as her body draped over his when the phone rang. They both sighed and Harry reached over her to pick it up, as her hand stroked his chest, fingers playing over him lightly.<p>

"Yes?" Harry said sharply. He was trying to concentrate as Ruth's fingers unbuttoned his shirt. Ruth was slightly disappointed by her husbands next words. "No, of course I'm not busy." Ruth was about to move away from him but he kept an arm around her so she couldn't move. She listened intently to Harry's end of the conversation.

"Oh that's great," he said, a honestly happy smile on his face. "Oh sweetheart I'm so happy for you." Ruth felt that she was missing something key. Harry mouthed "Catherine" at her, making it all become clear. "Of course I'm pleased for you." Another pause in the conversation. "I guess I'll just have to catch a plane to Iran next year then. No, of course I won't miss it. Ruth says congratulations too. Okay, love you too. Bye." Harry put the phone down and saw Ruth waiting for him to elaborate.

"Catherine's engaged," he said with a smile.

"Oh that's wonderful," Ruth said.

"I thought he'd lost his nerve," Harry said. "Last time they were both in London he asked my permission."

"That was months ago!" Ruth said.

"I know," Harry said. "I wondered if he'd ever do it."

"So Catherine's staying out there permanently then," Ruth said.

"Yes," Harry said unable to hide his disappointment. "She only comes back to the UK a couple of times a year but I do miss her."

"I know you do," Ruth said truthfully. There was a trace of sadness in the air.

"I've been thinking recently. About how I'd let my children down in the past. I hope I don't do it again."

"Harry, you're a different man now," she said, honestly believing it as her hand entwined with his. "I know you'll never purposefully hurt any of your children."

"Mm," he said quietly. "You think so much more of me than what I actually am."

"I think it because its true," she said.

"I don't want Jamie to hate me," he said with closed eyes. "I don't want him to think I killed his mother, I couldn't bear it."

"He won't think that," Ruth said. "When he's old enough to understand, we'll tell him and he won't think that."

"I hope you're right," Harry said.

"At the very least you have years to think about what you're going to say," Ruth correctly pointed out.

"True," he said. "I don't know what to think."

"You want my advice?" Ruth asked. "Take it one day at a time, and stop worrying about things you have no control over."

"Ruth…"

"I know. Its easier said than done," she said with a smile. "But its what you have to do."

He tilted her head back and leaned over her, kissing her lips softly and sensually. "Mm," she whispered reaching up and wrapping her hands around his neck as the kiss got deeper. The way he was kissing her made it clear what this would inevitably lead to.

"No…" Ruth whispered. "We shouldn't."

"Give me one good reason why not," he said, a shadow of the Harry smile she knew and loved appearing on his face.

"You've been shot."

"Can't feel it when I touch you," he murmured into her ear making her shiver.

"We have a six week old child in the house."

"If you won't sleep with me when Jamie's in the house, we're in for a long and boring marriage."

"Oh, is that right?" Ruth said with a smile. And Harry proceeded to show her just how good it could all be.


	34. Chapter 34

_Little update, hope you all like it!_

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><p><strong>Nine months later<strong>

"Oh God no," Harry cursed under his breath as Jamie woke up in the middle of the night.

"I'll get him," Ruth said, lifting her head from his chest.

"No don't, you stay put," Harry said as he got out of bed. Ruth was far too comfortable to argue and she dropped off to sleep hearing Harry whispering over his son.

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><p>The next morning Ruth woke up but kept her eyes closed. She felt wonderfully warm and happy. She was about to drift off again when she felt something hard hit her collarbone.<p>

"Ow," she said in reflex and opened her eyes. Then she laughed. Apparently Jamie had thought it was a good idea to kick everything within reach. Harry was smiling at them both as Jamie's legs were going round in circles. "Morning little man," she said, gripping one of his feet.

"Sleep well?" Harry asked, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

"I did actually," she admitted. "Have you been up all night?"

"No, not long," he said. Ruth sat up in bed and picked up Jamie, rubbing her nose against his for a few seconds as Jamie giggled.

"I'll look after him if you want to get some sleep," Ruth said. "Or I can make some breakfast?"

"You're too good to me," Harry said. "I'll make something, I won't be able to sleep anyway."

"Okay." She lay back down on the bed and then a thought occurred to her turned back to her husband. "Have you fed him?"

"Yes, he was going to scream if I didn't and you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want you disturbed."

"Harry, you don't have to explain why you fed your son," Ruth said slightly amused. She knew why he had said that, because she was the one who fed him normally. Harry kissed his wife and then picked Jamie up. "Come on little man," he said to Jamie who was wriggling in his arms as he went downstairs. "You're getting heavy," he said to Jamie as he sat him in his high chair, kissing his blonde hair before getting the bread out. He started saying random baby noises and Harry kept half an ear out because both himself and Ruth felt he was very close to saying his first words, but nothing close to English came out of his mouth as he started frying bacon.

As it was cooking Ruth was considering the long, nearly six hour plane journey she had to endure today to Tehran with an eleven month old child. She hoped he'd behave because otherwise she'd meet her stepdaughter Catherine for only the second time in a very irate mood. Not what she wanted, especially as she had no idea how Catherine would react to her half brother. She knew she wasn't going to relax because today was a big day. Harry plated up their breakfasts and heard Ruth coming downstairs. He turned and saw her looking gorgeously ruffled as she got herself some orange juice from the fridge. By the time she held her glass Jamie had settled his eyes on her.

"Mama." Ruth dropped her glass and it shattered all over the floor and her bare feet.

"Don't move," Harry said quickly, seeing shards on her skin. Ruth's eyes were focused on the little boy.

"Am I delusional, or did he just speak?" Ruth asked.

"He did," Harry replied, pride in his voice as he swept the glass away from her. As soon as she could move she went and picked Jamie up as Harry quickly followed her, stroking his sons head. Ruth kissed the little boy, feeling tears well up in her eyes. "Aren't you a clever boy!" Harry said to him as Ruth cuddled him.

"I don't know if I should apologise," Ruth said, feeling a whirlwind of emotion. She felt elated that Jamie had just called her mama, and she felt terribly guilty because she wasn't his mother. Also, he hadn't called Harry dada yet. She'd been first.

"Why on earth should you apologise?" Harry asked as he took Jamie from her arms.

"It was me first," she explained, watching as Jamie curled his hands into fists. Harry manoeuvred the boy and kissed Ruth on the lips firmly.

"He loves you. Never apologise for that." Privately, Harry did feel disappointed that dada hadn't yet escaped from his sons lips, but he knew Ruth felt worried about the fact that Jamie wouldn't warm to her when he was older. This would reassure her that genetics wasn't everything.

Jamie turned from Harry and looked at Ruth again. He held his arms out in her direction with another cry of "mama!" Harry laughed as Ruth stroked Jamie's head. The silence between them all spread out as they were lost in their individual thoughts.

"I know we should be happy and spend the rest of the day admiring our clever boy but we have a plane to catch," Ruth said, interrupting the quiet. Harry nodded and it wasn't long before the three of them left the house.

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><p><em>A review would be lovely!<em>


	35. Chapter 35

Harry was sitting in the window seat on the plane and he was deep in thought. He looked at Ruth and thought she had never looked more beautiful. She was asleep and her head was leaning against his shoulder. Jamie was resting on her chest, asleep too, his fingers twitching every now and then as he was clearly dreaming. Harry felt so lucky with the fact that he had both of them in his life. Ruth was the singularly most amazing woman he had ever met, and he couldn't believe that she was happy with a man such as himself. One with an extensive history and a lot of baggage. They'd been married nearly a year now, and every day he felt lucky. A small part of him was waiting for her to wake up and realise that she could do a lot better than him.

Harry was drawn out of his thoughts by the fact that Jamie was waking in Ruth's arms. The little boy fidgeted and blinked sleepily at Harry.

"Sh," Harry said. "Mama Ruth is sleeping." Jamie blinked at him.

"…da."

"Oh Jamie, that's so close," Harry said, feeling slightly disappointed. He reached for his son out of Ruth's sleeping arms and sat him on his lap. "Can you say dada? Give it a try Jamie, go on." Harry waited but Jamie wasn't playing ball. "Alright then," Harry said, giving up for the time being. Harry closed his eyes and was halfway asleep when Jamie hit his fist against Harry's chest. "No hitting," Harry said in a stern voice, even knowing he wouldn't be understood. Jamie's blue eyes looked at his father and kept opening and closing his mouth.

"Dada."

"That's my boy!" Harry said with a massive smile. "Da," Jamie agreed. Harry absently wondered if he'd end up being da, rather than dad, but he'd said it which was the most important thing. "I'm proud of you," Harry said.

"Why?" Ruth asked as she was stirring.

"I just got a dada out of him," Harry said, very pleased as his wife's eyes flickered open.

"Thank God for that," Ruth said. "I only had half a day of being the only word he could say."

"I wouldn't mind," Harry said.

"Da!" Jamie said as his father clearly wasn't paying him any attention.

Ruth smiled. "Da doesn't count."

"He said dada," Harry replied indignantly. Ruth smiled and squeezed his arm gently.

"How long before we land?" Ruth asked, having no idea how long she'd been asleep.

"About forty minutes," Harry said.

"Dada."

"I told you he said it," Harry said kissing his sons head proudly. Ruth stroked Jamie's head lovingly.

"I know you're nervous," Ruth said, her eyes focusing on Harry.

"My baby girl is getting married," Harry said almost wistfully.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it," Ruth said. Harry sighed, understanding what she meant. For a top level British spy to spend time in Iran… well they were never going to be comfortable, at the very least.

"Jo's keeping an eye on passport control, people going into and out of Iran. I should be fine."

"Harry, I'm sure Catherine would have understood if you hadn't been able to make it," Ruth said, a hand squeezing his arm.

"No she wouldn't," Harry said instantly. "And even if she did, I've been a bad enough father without making it worse. I can't miss her wedding."

"I know." Ruth felt very anxious. They'd already had this conversation several times at home.

"I'll be able to relax once we're back in London and you're lying safe in my arms," Harry said.

"That's wonderfully reassuring," Ruth said biting her lip.

"It'll be okay," Harry said. "I'd never have let you and Jamie come if I was truly worried."

"I know," Ruth said. She leaned over and kissed Harry in what was intended to be a brief kiss. She moved closer and kissed him deeper which was unfortunately interrupted by Jamie.

"Da!" Both adults laughed at their beautiful boy.

* * *

><p>As soon as they set foot into the airport in Tehran, both of them were keeping their eyes open for Catherine. She had said she'd meet them but so far they couldn't see her. As they picked up their bags, her face became clear through the crowd. Ruth had Jamie in her arms and Harry approached his daughter and hugged her as Ruth looked on, half a smile on her face.<p>

"I am so glad you're here," Catherine said as she let go of her father. Harry smiled at her, pleased that she looked so happy. Catherine's eyes slid past her father and onto Ruth. "Hi," she said. Then she looked down at Jamie who's head was burying into Ruth's shirt, because of the noise of the airport and all the strangers. Catherine stroked Jamie's head in a very familiar way, because its exactly how Harry did it. "I'm your sister Catherine." Jamie turned and considered this new person for a moment with his big blue eyes before curling back into Ruth with a loud "mama."

"You didn't tell me he was talking," Catherine said to her father as she took a suitcase from Ruth and started wheeling it behind them.

"He decided to say his first words this morning as we were having breakfast," Harry said, a hint of pride in his voice. Catherine wanted to ask about the fact that Jamie was calling Ruth mama but didn't feel like it was the right time to bring it up and could lead to an awkward silence.

"He's gorgeous," Catherine said honestly.

"We know," Ruth said with a smile.

"When's your mum coming over?" Harry asked. Ruth's mind froze because she hadn't even considered the possibility of meeting Harry's ex wife. Which was stupid because it should have been obvious.

"Oh that. She's not coming," Catherine said with a sad smile.

"What? Why?" Harry asked, completely shocked that Jane would miss their daughters wedding.

"She doesn't like to fly," Catherine said weakly.

"That's…"

"Harry," Ruth said warningly, a hand on his arm. Criticising Jane wasn't going to help anyone. He stayed silent with difficulty and Catherine felt a surge of gratitude to her stepmother. As they left the airport, heading towards Catherine's waiting car, Jamie started wriggling like a maniac in Ruth's arms.

"Hang on a sec," she said trying to hold on to the fidgeting child. Harry turned and as soon as he did Jamie said "Da!" with arms outstretched towards him

"Clearly he doesn't want me anymore," Ruth said with a smile as she handed Jamie over to his father. Harry looked at her face, worried she was taking it personally, but he saw no malice or ill feeling there. At that moment in time it was simply the truth. Jamie wanted to be held by Harry. Ruth picked up their bags and loaded the car as they were driven to Catherine and Amir's (her fiancés) house, with a relatively peaceful silence.

* * *

><p><em>I feel like this is a bit of a joining chapter but hopefully you liked it anyway. More soon.<em>


	36. Chapter 36

That night there was a gathering of friends and family at Catherine's house. About twelve guests were there and it was lovely and genial. Most of the Iranians spoke English but two or three women only spoke Persian and Ruth was getting on with them wonderfully well as Jamie looked confused at the strange sounding words, as she cuddled him closely.

Harry sat next to Catherine outside on the patio, sharing a bottle of red wine as they both looked at Ruth and Jamie. "How are you really?" Catherine asked.  
>"Good," he said. "All things considered. I don't know how you feel about Ruth as your stepmother but she is wonderful, and I love her very much."<p>

"You want to know how I honestly feel?" Catherine asked. Harry nodded, very wary about the answer. "I think she's too good for you."

Harry laughed. "I completely agree. She is far too good for me. But for some crazy reason which I still can't fathom after all this time she loves me."

Catherine smiled at him and took another sip from her glass. "Jamie is a complete darling, but I want to ask you something which isn't the kind of thing I can ask over the phone. I'm probably way out of line but I have to ask, did you cheat on her?"

"No," Harry replied firmly, at this moment in time not really caring that his daughter was asking such personal questions.

"Good because I like her," Catherine said sincerely. "Ruth's wonderful but where is Jamie's mother?"

"Dead," Harry said not wanting to get into the whole story. From the tone he used Catherine guessed that terrorist activity was inferred. She let it drop. "Ruth's adopted him."

"Yes, you told me that," Catherine said. She let out a deep heartfelt sigh. "I have something I have to tell you, and I don't want you to start shouting at me. I've given this a lot of thought, and everything you'll want to say to me I will have said to myself a hundred times."

"Now I'm worried," Harry said taking his eyes off Ruth and focusing on his daughter. "Are you pregnant?"

"No," she said with a smile. "Amir. He works for the Iranian secret service."

"Oh Catherine," Harry said appalled.

"Dad, don't," Catherine said, looking at her glass. "They know that his future wife is English and he isn't involved in anything against the UK."

"That's what he's telling you," Harry said in a low growl.

"Dad, please stop it," she said quietly. "I don't question how you've dealt with the many women in your life in past times, can you not question how I live my life?"

"All I want is for you to be happy," Harry said honestly.

"Amir makes me happy," she said with a smile. "I can honestly tell you that when he told me this I considered leaving him because I know how bad yours and mum's marriage got towards the end."

"That wasn't just the job," Harry admitted sadly.

"I know but it didn't help did it?" Catherine said. "Anyway, that isn't the point. The point is I wanted to tell you, and I would really like you to be okay with it. Or at least pretend you're okay, because I want you here for my wedding."

"So what does he do in the Iranian service?"

"He works mainly with American interests," Catherine said. "That and internal Iranian struggles." Harry nodded. Even if it wasn't true there was nothing he could do about it and kicking up a fuss wasn't going to do anyone any favours. "I love him dad," she said quietly. "What if Ruth worked for the American embassy. Would you leave her?"

"Maybe you have a point," Harry said cracking a reluctant smile. Catherine smiled too, feeling that the worst was over. "They will have looked into you, you know."

"I know," Catherine said.

"They'll know who I am," Harry said feeling an ice cold stab of worry.

"Calm down," Catherine said. "I know that for you coming to Iran isn't a small thing. I love that you came here for me. I told Amir that having my father at my wedding was important to me. Nothing will happen, I promise."

"You have extra security planned?"

"What do you take me for?" Catherine asked. "I'm your daughter after all." Harry smiled and kissed the top of his daughters head. "Its why mum isn't here. She thinks I'm insane and repeating her mistakes."

"That's no reason to miss her daughter's wedding," Harry said, disappointed in his ex wife. "Is that why you didn't tell me until I got out here?"

"Yes," Catherine said. "I wanted at least one of my parents here. Mum… She wanted me to change my mind. It wasn't happening and she couldn't accept that. Anyway, that's how we can afford this beautiful house and our large wedding."

"Thank you for telling me," Harry said sincerely. "I can't imagine that was easy."

"No," she said. Catherine didn't say anything else because Ruth came over to them at that moment, Jamie's head lolling on her shoulder.

"I'm going to put him to bed but then I'll be back down okay?" Ruth said.

"You've been looking after him all day, I'll do it," Harry said.

"You don't see your daughter often. I'll put him to bed." Ruth kissed his cheek and Harry kissed Jamie's head before they went into the house.

"I couldn't do what she's doing you know," Catherine said. "Treating him like he's her own child. And Jamie clearly loves her."

"He does. Ruth… it looks unlikely that she'll ever have children," Harry slowly admitted.

"Then that makes it even more incredible," Catherine said. "Look, if you ever do anything stupid enough to let her go, you're an even bigger fool than I ever imagined."

"Says the dutiful and loving daughter," Harry said with a smile.

"You are going to tell him that Ruth isn't his mother," Catherine said.

"Of course, when he's older," Harry said. "Ruth collected some photos of her and has kept them for him when he's older. She doesn't think I know that, but she wouldn't be her if she did anything else. How do you explain to a baby that the woman he looks after him everyday isn't his mum?"

"Point taken." Catherine topped up their glasses just as Ruth was coming back outside. She sat down next to Harry and looked at Catherine.

"You look remarkably calm considering you're getting married tomorrow," Ruth said.

"You were calm before our wedding," Harry pointed out.

"I might have looked it but I don't think I'd ever been so nervous in my life," Ruth said.

"I'm more excited at this point," Catherine said. "I love my dress, I had my final fitting yesterday."

"Ignore your fathers scowls and tell me what its like," Ruth said without looking at her husband, just squeezing his hand.

"A beautiful white and sparkly full length dress which is just perfect. It's silk and has loads of crystals on the skirt and I am boring dad silly."

"Mm?" he said being drawn out of his thoughts. Both women laughed. Ruth leaned against Harry's shoulder and smiled as Harry stroked her hair without thinking about it. Catherine felt happy that her father seemed so content, tinged with a little sadness that her parents never had this relationship. "Is Jamie asleep?" Harry asked his wife.

"Yes, drifted right off," she replied.

"He's very good considering he's in a strange country with people he doesn't know," Catherine said.

"He's a good boy," Ruth said, the clear love she felt shining through her voice. Catherine smiled at Ruth and wondered how it had taken is father so long to find the woman who was so clearly right for him.

* * *

><p><em>I hope I've got the emotion between Catherine and Harry right here. What do you think?<em>


	37. Chapter 37

Harry and Ruth went upstairs, checking on Jamie who was asleep in a cot in their room. He was sound asleep. Ruth looked out of their bedroom window over the city, thinking about something.

"What is it?" Harry asked wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Just remembering the honeymoon you never took me on," Ruth said, teasing him.

"We were busy with Jamie if you remember," Harry said.

"I know. I'm enjoying the warm breeze that you never get in London." Harry kissed the back of her neck.

"I have to tell you something," Harry said. "Amir works for the Iranian secret service."

"Oh," Ruth said. "So that's it."

"What do you mean?" he asked, turning her around in his arms.

"He was wonderfully polite but I got the feeling he was expecting me to hate him," Ruth said.

"Catherine said he isn't involved in anything against the UK," Harry said.

"Stop right now," Ruth said sternly. "Do not go looking into him because if your daughter found out she wouldn't forgive you."

"I know, but I'm worried."

"Why do you think it's a non religious ceremony tomorrow?" Ruth asked. "Trust your daughter, and trust him."

"I don't even know him," Harry said.

"Do you really think its easy for him to marry an Englishwoman? I can imagine how they treat him at work, can't you? Would you let him near anything UK related if you were his boss?"

"Fine, I won't have a nose around," he agreed reluctantly. Ruth smiled broadly.

"Good, that's the right decision," Ruth said. She kissed him deeply as they melted together in the warm night. "Catherine was brave to tell you that."

"I know," Harry said. "Its why I kept my reaction tightly wrapped. I don't want to disappoint her."

"I love you," Ruth said simply. She kissed him again.

"Mama." Ruth broke away from Harry reluctantly and looked over the cot. Once Jamie had seen her he seemed happier and his eyes slowly flickered shut.

"I love that he calls me that," she admitted. "I know I'm not, but I love it."

"I love it too," Harry said. They both got into bed and Ruth took up her familiar place in his arms, their legs tangled as her head rested on his chest.

"So does Catherine hate her wicked stepmother?" she asked, only half teasing.

"She thinks you're far too good for me and we were both wondering what you see in me actually," he said as she laughed into his chest. "Seriously." She could tell he actually wanted an answer so she thought about it while her fingers traced over some of the scars on his chest.

"Well, firstly you are an honourable man," Ruth started. "You have integrity and even if it doesn't always come across I know you do the best for people you care about, and your family. You might not see it but I find you very attractive. And the way you looked at me on the grid for all those years… it stopped my heart every time you got that little glint in your eye. Even now, when we've been together for eighteen months or more, you still look at me like I'm the only woman for you, and even with your dubious history that makes me feel so lucky."

"God I love you," he said. "I have a wonderful, if slightly unconventional family."

"Mm," Ruth said kissing him happily. And that was how they spent the rest of the night, wrapped together, Jamie sleeping soundly in his cot.

* * *

><p>In the morning Ruth got up early and took Jamie downstairs, not to disturb either Harry or the bride to be who were both asleep. Ruth concentrated on feeding Jamie and by the time he'd smeared his food all around his mouth she heard someone coming into the kitchen. She wiped her child's mouth before turning to see who it was.<p>

"Catherine, I didn't disturb you did I?" Ruth asked anxiously.

"No I couldn't sleep well anyway. I heard someone get up and thought I should make my presence known." Catherine had a slightly nervous look on her face but she was smiling.

"Your dads still asleep and I didn't want him crying and waking everyone," Ruth said, in explanation. Catherine smiled at Jamie as he turned to Ruth

"Da?"

"Da's asleep," Ruth said to Jamie, smiling at him. Jamie tilted his head and looked at Catherine with wonder on his face, seeming over his shyness now. Catherine leaned over him and smiled.

"Hi little boy," she said, now that he seemed to be paying her attention. His eyes were big and wide at her, almost contemplating.

"Tap his stomach," Ruth suggested. Catherine did what she said and after a moment or two was rewarded with a gorgeous Jamie giggle.

"Oh I made him laugh!" Catherine said, incredibly pleased. Ruth smiled at both of her step children, feeling wonderfully pleased with this turn of events. "Can I hold him?" Catherine asked.

"Of course you can," Ruth said. "Come on handsome." Ruth picked him up as his legs started kicking fast in the air. Ruth handed him over to Catherine and she rocked him as he looked at her with big wide eyes. "He likes you," Ruth said.

"How can you tell?" Catherine asked.

"He isn't crying," Ruth said accurately. Jamie curled his fist into Catherine's dressing gown and after a moment turned around trying to find Ruth.

"Mama!"

"I think he's had enough of me," Catherine said, handing him back over to Ruth who was sitting.

"Don't take it personally," Ruth said as Jamie stood on her legs as Ruth supported his weight. He was very, very wobbly and she didn't think he'd be standing on his own for a good couple of months yet.

"Da!" Ruth turned at this and saw Harry over her shoulder.

"Hello little rascal," Harry said ruffling Jamie's hair. "Morning," he added to Ruth. He leaned over her and kissed her on the lips. He intended it to be brief but he couldn't resist leaning over her again for a couple more.

"Morning," Ruth said with a smile. He kissed her again. Catherine felt it was time she made her presence known so coughed loudly.

"Sorry," Harry said as his fingers trailed over Ruth's spine unashamedly. "Didn't see you."

"Cleary," Catherine said handing him a coffee. But she didn't seem too upset. Everyone was smiling as nothing was said except for Jamie who started quietly gurgling.

* * *

><p>Later they were at the Eram Grand Hotel in Northern Tehran, waiting for proceedings to start. The room was a riot of colour as east met west, everything was bright and flowers were on every available surface, making the hotel look beautifully appropriate. Harry currently sat next to Ruth and Jamie, waiting for Catherine to arrive so he could give her away. She was using the bride's prerogative of being late.<p>

"Stop looking nervous," Ruth said, sensing his discomfort.

"I'm not," he said. "I'm looking for Amir."

"Why?" Ruth asked instantly worried.

"To tell him if he doesn't take care of her, I'll make his life a living hell," Harry said easily.

"What I'd do to any man who was marrying my daughter, not because of his job description."

"Okay," Ruth replied.

Amir appeared in their eye line at that moment, and Harry leant over Ruth and whispered in her ear. "Plus I am not nervous because I keep imagining taking that rather alluring dress off of you tonight and making love to you all night long." Ruth could do nothing but blush as he walked away from her.

"Amir, can I have a word with you in private?" Harry said without preamble. The Iranian nodded as if it was inevitable and they left the room into a corridor before either of them spoke.

"I know Catherine has told you what I do for a living but this is our wedding day so please don't make a fuss and ruin it," Amir said, speaking quickly.

"I'm not," Harry said. "My daughter and I don't have the best relationship, but I would never ruin her wedding day because I know she wouldn't forgive me. I still see her as my little girl but I know she's grown up and will make her own choices."

"Thank you."

"I'm not finished," Harry said menacingly. "I take it you know what I do in the UK?" Amir's silence was as good as assent. "I have it within my power to make your life a living hell, if you ever hurt my daughter. I will make sure of it even if it's the last thing I ever do. And if I happen to die, I will make sure others follow my lead."

"I won't hurt her," Amir said with a confidence Harry privately had to commend him for. "Do you think the Iranian government want one of their spies to have an English wife? I love her, more than my job or my career. I won't hurt her. Or her family." Harry realised this was the best assurance he was going to get. He held out his hand and the younger man shook it. "Thank you Harry," Amir said seriously. The two men were interrupted by three knocks on the outer door.

"You should go and wait for her," Harry said with half a smile. Amir nodded nervously and went inside to await his bride. Harry opened the door once he had gone and Catherine appeared with her maid of honour, holding a bouquet of blood red flowers. She had a nervous smile on her face but Harry could tell she was happy.

"You look beautiful," he said sincerely, kissing her cheek. The white dress shimmered when she moved, pooling on the floor around her feet and even though she didn't have a veil, the tiara she wore framed her face perfectly. "You're the most beautiful woman here, just don't tell Ruth I said that." Catherine laughed and laced her arm through her fathers.

"Ready to give me away?" Catherine asked.

"Never," he said, making her smile, as the proceeded to the room where both families were waiting to see Catherine Pearce become Mrs Amir Moradi.

* * *

><p><em>Everyone seems worried about the wedding, but I can assure you that nothing untoward is going to happen. Hope you like this update :)<em>


	38. Chapter 38

At the airport the next day Catherine rushed in, trying to find her father and stepmother in the departures lounge. She was saved the trouble of looking very far by a cry from Jamie. He was pointing at her and said "Ca!" very loudly. Both Ruth and Harry turned to see Catherine making her way through the muddle of people.

"Clearly I'm popular," Catherine said ruffling the little boys hair as he giggled.

"We thought you were going to miss us," Ruth said. "We're boarding our flight in five minutes.

"Overslept at the hotel," she said, without getting into quite why. Tactfully no one else mentioned it either. "I'm glad I didn't miss you. I wanted to say goodbye to my baby brother."

"Glad to know I'm wanted," Harry said. Catherine rolled her eyes and gave her father a hug. "I want you to take this and memorise it," Harry added. Catherine looked at the scrap of paper and opened her mouth to speak when Harry interrupted. "Seriously. Its an untraceable email account and I'd feel better if I knew you could contact me if there's a problem. Its perfectly safe."

"Dad, everything will be fine," Catherine said. "He isn't evil just because he's Iranian. I know you couldn't do it, but believe it or not I love this country. I love living here, and I'm in love with my husband."

"Take it," Harry said. "I'll miss my flight trying to convince you if you don't."

"Fine," she said. "So who set this up? Ruth or you?"

"I did," Ruth said. "He couldn't be talked out of it last night and I thought it was best I did it rather than the botch job he'd do."

"I'm not completely incapable," Harry said indignantly, as both women laughed at him.

"Da?"

"At least I have someone on my side," Harry said raising his son in the air as he kicked his legs hard. They were getting stronger everyday. Ruth listened to the PA system which had started speaking fluent Persian Harry didn't understand.

"That's us," Ruth said collecting their hand luggage.

"Use that email address, even if you just want to say hello. I'd love to hear from you."

"That's what the telephone's for," Catherine said dryly. "But I'll keep it if it'll give you peace of mind."

"Thank you sweetheart," Harry said giving his daughter a hug. When he released her

Catherine went over to Ruth and spoke in a low voice. "Look after him," she said. "He isn't as tough as he'd like everyone to believe and I know he loves you."

"Goodbye Catherine. You're always welcome whenever you're in London you know?"

"Thanks." Catherine gave her stepmother a quick hug before they left. She was touched that Jamie was waving at her. Ruth smiled at him before they vanished from sight.

* * *

><p>Over international waters Harry let out a deep heartfelt sigh. "Are you alright?" Ruth asked, Jamie lolling on her lap in sleep.<p>

"Yes," he said. "Relieved to be going home, but yes. She seems happy."

"I think she is," Ruth said. "You should let go of your prejudices, it could always be worse."

"How?"

"She could have married a terrorist."

"Such a positive thought," Harry said sarcastically. She leaned over and kissed him.

"Your daughter is a grown woman and she's happy. Leave it be."

"I'm never going to be happy that my son in law is an Iranian," he said making sure to speak quietly.

"I know, and Catherine knows that too, which is why it meant so much to her that you stayed quiet over the last few days. You can't choose who your child falls in love with. Do you really think my father would have wanted me to marry a man fifteen years older than me, already divorced and with three children by two different women?"

"I hope there's some good points in there too!" Harry said offended by her insinuation.

"The good point is that I love you more than I thought I could love anyone, ever. And I don't care who knows it." She smiled and kissed him lightly.

"Much better," he said. "I wish I could have met your father."

"He'd have hated you," Ruth said instantly

"This conversation just gets better and better," Harry said.

"He'd have warmed to you eventually, trust me. He would have wanted to make sure that you'd never hurt me."

"Its what fathers do isn't it?" Harry said deep in thought. "Have I hurt you?"

"Yes," she said, thinking about it. "Just occasionally. When I found out Rose was pregnant. When I found out Jamie was yours. But I do know none of this… you don't do it on purpose."

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not after an apology," she said quietly. "Because I love where we are right now. I love that we're together and happy and have a beautiful baby boy who is an exhausting joy to look after. And if you really were truly sorry, Jamie wouldn't exist for us and I can't wish that. I would never wish that."

"I love you," Harry murmured, kissing her lips softly. When they parted Ruth turned and settled her head on her husbands shoulder. Harry looked at Ruth resting on him, and Jamie asleep on her and smiled. He was truly lucky and blessed to have both of them. He tightened an arm around them both and let his eyes close.

* * *

><p><em>A little bit of a sandwich chapter I feel but hope you liked it anyway. When they get back to the grid Dimitri and Erin will have arrived at Thames house. Poll: Do I mention Elena or not...?<em>


	39. Chapter 39

_Thank you everyone for making this story pass the 300 review mark! Wow! Here's a nice little fluffy chapter to celebrate..._

* * *

><p>It was just past nine in the morning and Harry was surprised when he saw Ruth appear on the grid, carrying Jamie on her hip who was looking around with wide eyes. He'd never been to Thames House before. Ruth opened his office door and Harry just looked at his family.<p>

"Emily can't look after him today. Her father's had a heart attack."

"Is he alright?"

"I don't know but she called me in a terrible state, saying that she couldn't turn up. I just brought him in. Nothing serious has happened yet?"

"No, its fine, isn't it little man?"

"Da!" Ruth smiled as Harry took their son from her and he tried standing on his desk. Jamie fell over relatively quickly and sat staring at his parents. With both of them working it had taken a bit of adjusting to looking after Jamie full time. Harry took Friday's off unless there was a desperate emergency, and Ruth didn't work either Monday or Tuesday afternoons. Emily, their nanny had been wonderful with the situation, and this was the first time there had been a problem. Ruth was so efficient that no one had really noticed her afternoons off, but the DG had taken a little calming down once he'd discovered the head of Section D was babysitting on his Fridays. Also recently with the new influx of staff, (Dimitri Levendis and Erin Watts were the new team members) it lifted the pressure and their presence wasn't really always necessary. Now it had all settled down and everything was running smoothly.

"Can you look after him for an hour while I catch up with everything?" Ruth asked.

"Of course I will," Harry said. "Play with daddy's pens… Er, here's a form from the home secretary I'll claim I never received, draw on that." Ruth laughed as she closed his office door.

Sitting at her desk five minutes later Adam approached her.

"Not once have I ever brought Wes to work and got away with it," he teased.

"Yeah, well I'm married to the boss, I get a free pass." Adam smiled at her as he walked away.

"Well that solves the mystery of your wedding ring then," Dimitri said to her left.

"You're an intelligence officer, and its taken you a month to work that out?" Ruth asked, her eyes still on her screen as she continued typing.

"I knew you were married, and I knew you had a thing with Harry that no one was mentioning, but I…

"What?" Ruth asked, now curious.

Dimitri had the good grace to look embarrassed. "I thought you were having an affair with him."

"Charming," Ruth said, wondering if she should be slightly offended.

"Well you're very… affectionate with each other when you think no ones watching and Malcolm told me not to mention anything," Dimitri said seriously. Ruth smiled at her old friends thoughtfulness but gossip about herself and Harry didn't seem to bother her as much as it used to. Not when she was so happy.

"Yes. I am married to Harry, and I have a beautiful one year old son, okay?" She silently realised her mistake about Jamie but didn't change her mind. "Can I concentrate now? I'm behind." She kept typing for a good five minutes before Dimitri disturbed her again.

"Er Ruth?"

"Look, I'm busy hacking into the FSB, can't it wait?"

"Ruth, you want to see this," Dimitri said. She turned her chair at the same moment Jamie said "mama!" Ruth's jaw dropped open. Jamie was standing on his own behind her desk.

"How did you get there?" she asked her beautiful boy. He answered her by taking a couple of steps forward and lifting his arms.

"Mama up!" Ruth smiled, feeling tears well in her eyes as she picked the little boy up to her lap.

"You clever boy!" Ruth kissed his head. "Where's your daddy then? Leaving you to come walking out to me on your own, well its not on." She looked around and saw him on the phone through the office blinds. She carried Jamie and saw that someone had left Harry's office door open. She put Jamie back down on the floor and felt another thrill when he stayed standing on his own. She knocked on the open door once at the same moment Harry put the phone down.

"Are you missing someone?" Ruth asked. Harry looked at her and then looked for Jamie, worry clouding his face instantly that she felt slightly guilty for teasing him.

"Where is he?"

"He walked out of your office and came to see me at my desk."

"He can't… he's walking?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "Come on and show daddy. Jamie looked at her and then followed her into Harry's office."

"Oh, and I missed it!" Harry said as Jamie walked around the desk and looked at Harry.

"Da, up!" Harry smiled and lifted him up onto the desk, standing on a now very crumpled form from the Home Secretary. A form Ruth saw that was covered with pencil lines all over it.

"My clever boy," Harry said, stroking Jamie's head. "I love you handsome man. Such a smart boy."

"Da!"

Ruth smiled at her family and leaned over the boy to kiss her husband. "Keep a close eye on him. I have a feeling he'll be running circles around us in no time."

"I love you too," Harry said kissing her again. For the moment she decided not to mention Dimitri's speculation on their private life. She'd save that entertainment for later.


	40. Chapter 40

That night in bed Ruth groaned as the phone rang. She leaned over Harry's chest and picked it up. "Yes? Oh hi Emily. No its not too late at all, how's your father?" She tried to concentrate as Harry started stroking her bare back painfully slowly and sensually.

"Good. Can you make it tomorrow? Right. Well Jamie's started walking today so I'm sure he's going to be running around in circles soon enough." Even Harry could hear how pleased Emily was over the phone. She was a lovely woman and Harry and Ruth didn't trust just anyone with Jamie. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"So its all okay?" Harry asked as Ruth settled back in bed.

"Mm," Ruth agreed. "Apparently her father demanded a bacon roll drowning in ketchup, so he's fine."

"Good," Harry said.

"She said she was so sorry she'd let us down," Ruth said. "I think she's rather scared of you."

"Ah well," Harry said completely unconcerned. "You know Jamie likes her."

"I do," Ruth replied. "I forgot to tell you earlier, do you want to know what Dimitri thought about our relationship?"

"What did he think?"

"He thought that we were having a secret torrid affair behind our respective partners backs."

"What on earth would make him think that?" Harry said after laughing for a minute.

"No one told him we were married, he saw my wedding ring and just came to the wrong conclusion."

"I find that rather amusing actually," Harry said giving Ruth a brief kiss. "What made him see the light?"

"Jamie."

"Ah." Harry smiled as she settled on his chest and closed her eyes. "I wish I had been carrying on a torrid affair with you for years. Maybe so much time wouldn't have been wasted."

"We're here now, and that's what matters." Ruth kissed him slowly and Harry smiled before they both drifted off into a happy sleep.

* * *

><p>"We have a problem," Harry said in the meeting room the next morning. Adam rolled his eyes as Harry continued. "Ilya and Elena Gavrik have been spotted coming off a private plane in London early this morning. Ilya is a Russian foreign counterpart, dealing with Russian negotiations with foreign powers. I would like to know very much why they are in the UK when the security services haven't been informed." He pushed a button on the control and a close up of both of their faces appeared on the screen.<p>

"I have a history with these people, while I was in Berlin in the 80s. Ilya Gavrik is a very dangerous man and I know that he has personally murdered British assets in the past. Elena Gavrik was an asset of mine and she gave my good intelligence for years. I'm not entirely sure where her allegiances currently lie. She turned for the UK but stayed in Moscow, and stayed married to Ilya. I haven't heard from her in years so I'm not sure. Malcolm, I'd like you to check and see if she's tried to make contact through any of the old dead drops." Malcolm nodded and started going through the papers in front of him. Ruth looked at the picture of Elena Gavrik and caught Harry's eye. What she read there was not comforting. She realised she didn't want to hear the rest of the discussion and left the meeting room without another word. Everyone stared at the door she had just closed before Harry brought their attention back to the conversation.

"Adam, Dimitri and Erin I want you to follow them and keep your distance, because I do not want them catching wind of the fact we know they're here. Tariq, I want you to keep an eye on the CCTV. Jo, make sure that no other disasters happen while we're busy dealing with the Russians."

"But Ruth…"

"I'll deal with Ruth," Harry said firmly and for a moment it was like no one was breathing. "Get to work everyone." There was a rush as everyone left and Harry closed his eyes. He guessed where Ruth would be but decided to give her five minutes alone before he went to find her.

* * *

><p>Ruth stood on the rooftop and pulled her coat around her. It was very cold but she needed some space and air to think. She had heard that Elena Gavrik had been turned but firstly she didn't know it was true and secondly she had no idea Harry had been involved. The look on his face when he had looked at her in the meeting room made it perfectly clear how Elena had been turned. Harry had been sleeping with her. And to make it worse he had neglected to tell her until she was surrounded by all her work colleagues. How could he ambush her like that? Did she not deserve to be told in private before he made it clear exactly what had happened? She shook her head as thoughts of Elena and Harry together crowded her mind.<p>

Also because of her general research into the Russians before this bombshell had been dropped today, she knew that the Gavrik's had a twenty seven year old son. It didn't take a genius to work out that Harry could very likely be the true father of that child. Ruth looked out over the city, wondering what kind of marriage she had if her husband couldn't even tell her the truth, before she discovered it herself. As she looked over the city she heard a door slam closed in the breeze and knew without turning who it would be. Sure enough Harry approached her and stood to her right silently.

"Why did you never tell me about her?" Ruth asked without facing him. As much as she hated to admit it, even to herself she could feel his reassuring warmth emanating from him and it made her feel safe.

"I don't want to hurt you, I never want that," Harry said. "I never thought she'd ever appear in the UK again."

"So it was okay to lie to me, because I'd never find out, is that what I'm hearing?"

"I am not proud of my past Ruth," he said. He was so close to her but he made sure he wasn't touching her. He didn't want her to storm off. "What am I meant to tell you? That when I was in Berlin I cheated on my first wife with a Russian traitor repeatedly?"

"Yes," Ruth said, turning to face him. "I'm not angry or upset that you slept with her so many years ago. I am furious that you never told me. Didn't I deserve the truth?" Harry looked at the ground feeling horribly ashamed, and he knew he deserved it. "How long Harry? How long were you sleeping with her?"

"Four years," he admitted. She shook her head.

"Did you love her?"

"Ruth…"

"Answer the question."

"I never trusted her, but as much as you can love anyone that you don't trust, yes I did."

"I have taken a lot from you. I have accepted your past and your history with other women. I know you weren't faithful to your first wife. I've accepted Jamie and I treat him like he's my own son. I feel like he's mine and I love him, but there's a limit to how much I can take, and I'm about to hit it Harry." Harry swallowed and for a brief moment he wondered if he might actually be about to lose her. "I can't take… I cannot bear you lying to me, because it really hurts. It means you don't respect me enough to trust me with the truth."

"I've told you the truth," Harry said quietly.

"No you didn't tell me, I found out. There's a difference," Ruth said. "And the fact that you're still hiding something hurts me Harry." He looked at her and could see tears welling in her eyes. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her arm tightly."

"I'm not hiding anything from you."

"Elena Gavrik's son is twenty seven. According to my calculations you and Elena were both in Berlin at that time, if you follow what I'm thinking. You don't trust me enough to tell me that her son is yours. If you don't trust me, what exactly have we got in our relationship? So I am going home while you deal with your mess. I don't want everyone staring at the poor mistreated wife of their boss today." Harry wanted to call her back but had a feeling that would cause more harm then good. She needed time to calm down, and he would give it to her. Because he'd give her anything she wanted.

* * *

><p><em>Most people seemed to want Elena, and I found the choice was between including her or finishing the story. So I added her character because I'm enjoying writing this story and don't want it to end quite yet. What do you think?<em>


	41. Chapter 41

Ruth opened her front door and found Jamie gabbling to himself on the floor while playing with his building bricks. Emily was sitting next to him and she looked up as Ruth came in. "Oh, I didn't expect you."

"Mama!"

"No, I didn't expect me either," Ruth admitted. "You go, I'll look after him.

"Oh no, I couldn't," Emily said. "Not after yesterday."

"Well, I'm not leaving and I'd like to look after him. Go and visit your father."

"Are you sure?" Ruth nodded. Emily picked Jamie up and twirled him around in a circle. "See you tomorrow handsome."

"Ga!" Jamie said.

"He can't say Emily, or Em yet then?" Ruth said taking the child from her.  
>"It won't be long," Emily said as she put her coat on. "He's a very loud little boy. It'll come soon."<p>

"I'm sure," Ruth said. Jamie waved as Emily left and Ruth put the boy back on the floor where he was throwing his foam building bricks everywhere.

"You know, your daddy is a dipstick," Ruth said as she rubbed her nose against Jamie's.

"Da?"

"Yes, dipstick." It was the politest word she could use in front of her child. She felt like saying he was a bloody idiot and worse, but that wasn't very child friendly. "And I love him to death anyway. Maybe I'm the fool."

"Mama?"

"Come on then you little rascal, show me how big a mess you can make with your building blocks."

* * *

><p>It was dark by the time Harry came home. Firstly he'd been putting it off and then after a while he thought it might be easier if Jamie was asleep by the time he got home. He unlocked the door to find Ruth sitting at the kitchen table halfway through a glass of wine. Harry wondered how much she'd drunk but then saw that the bottle on the side was almost full.<p>

"Jamie's asleep," Ruth told him.

"I thought so. I didn't want to argue with you while he was up."

"Harry, I don't want to argue with you at all," Ruth said without looking at him.

"Look at me," he said, pulling her unresisting body until she was standing. She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to her husbands. "I am not lying to you. Sasha Gavrik is not my son."

"How do you know?"

"Because for three months or so I was back in London reporting to my superiors. And having them check that I hadn't turned against them while in Germany. When I returned to Berlin, she was already two months pregnant. That's how I know."

Ruth studied his eyes and knew that he was telling her the truth. She couldn't help it, but she cried in relief, her head leaning into his chest. Harry stroked her back as her tears petered out. "I'm sorry," she said wiping her face. "I know I shouldn't be crying but I just… the relief."

"I know," he said, enjoying the few seconds of her body pressed against his before she drew away.

"How could you not tell me that you'd been sleeping with a Russian delegates wife? For four years Harry, its not a quick fling you might have neglected to tell me!"

"Honestly, because I haven't given her any serious thought in years. I don't think about her any more. It's the first time she's been in the same country as me for a decade. She doesn't mean anything more than a mistake from my past I'd love to forget."

"Harry…"

"Even when I was sleeping with her, she meant much less than you do to me. I love you."

"Oh God Harry, why do you do this to me?" She filled her glass with wine before another question occurred to her. "Why? Why sleep with her in the first place?"

"Because I was young and it was exciting at the time. And I'm not going to lie, she was beautiful."

"At least you're being honest," she said, rolling her eyes. "Didn't it bother you that you were married? She was married too."

"No," Harry said. "It should have done. But… I didn't care. And I was naïve enough to believe that my wife would never find out." Ruth nodded, pleased that he was telling her the truth rather than what he thought she wanted to hear.

"Did Ilya ever find out?" Ruth asked.

"Not to my knowledge. We were careful." Ruth took another sip of her wine.

"You need to tell me these things from your past before I'm confronted with them in front of everyone at work," Ruth said.

"I know," Harry replied. "I am sorry for how you found out." Ruth crossed the kitchen and folded herself into her familiar place on Harry's chest. He stroked her back lovingly and then lifted her chin and kissed her softly. It was a kiss empty of passion but full or reassurance and tenderness.

"I might overreacted but I was blind sighted. I thought I knew everything about your past."

"I don't mean this in a harsh way, but you can never know everything about me," Harry said. "And it isn't because I don't trust you or love you, or think that you're the best part of my life. Its because I had twenty five years in the service before I even met you. There are too many secrets and events that I'll never be able to tell you everything."

"I understand that," she said. "But a four year affair isn't a small thing. I should have known. Especially if you were going to bring Elena Gavrik up in a meeting. Why are they in the UK anyway?" Ruth added, as the logical side rather than the emotional side caught up with her.

"Apparently the Home Secretary wants a partnership deal with Russia and they are the delegates."

"A deal with Russia," Ruth said, a smile playing over her lips, much to Harry's relief. "That can't have sat well with you."

"No." Harry said with such clear hatred that Ruth managed a quick laugh. "Anyway, there's an official reception tomorrow night to welcome negotiations between our countries. Will you come with me?"

"Of course I will," she said. "I'm married to you remember. But don't expect me to like seeing her."

"I don't," Harry said. "I love you."

"I love you too, even though you're the most infuriating man I have ever met." She kissed him again and in the silence they both realised just how much they loved each other.

* * *

><p><em>I'm not entirely happy with this discussion but I'm sick of fiddling with it, so I'm posting now. Also decided to split the difference with the Elena being present but Sasha isn't Harry's. This isn't going to follow the series ten storyline at all either. Hope you liked it!<em>


	42. Chapter 42

Ruth woke up and even with her eyes closed she could feel Harry staring at her, one of his hands carefully placed on her waist. She sighed in a deeply heartfelt way and opened her eyes to his attractive hazel ones. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Wondering why you're still here," Harry said stroking a hand through her hair.

"Don't start feeling sorry for yourself," Ruth said honestly.

"Mm," he said kissing her. He broke away when they heard a "mama" over the baby monitor.

"Da! Dada!"

"Someone's awake," Ruth said.

"I'll get him."

"If he says dipstick, don't take it personally." Harry opened his mouth and then realised what she was implying as he left their bedroom with a smile.

* * *

><p>That day at work Ruth spent the morning in a very unproductive manner, looking into Elena Gavrik's history and she didn't like the similarities she saw. Maybe she was reading too much into it, she surely was, she thought. They both had very pale skin (Harry called her skin porcelain but it was just pale). They both had clear intelligence. The fact that Elena had spied against Russia and was still enjoying her freedom was evidence of that. Ruth also noticed that they were exactly the same height at five foot six and she found that fact particularly annoying and she had no idea why. At this moment in time she realised that she had absolutely nothing to wear tonight. But no way in hell was she going to let a fake red headed Russian tart beat her on her own turf. After having a quick word with Harry she left the grid, deciding it was worth blowing a months wages on a new outfit.<p>

* * *

><p>"Hi Emily," Ruth said as she came home, her arms being weighed down by choices. "I need another woman's opinion, can you help me?"<p>

"In the kitchen," she shouted at her and Ruth heard Jamie giggling. Ruth laughed when she saw her son with mush all over his face, clearly having the time of his life, rather than actually eating his lunch.

"Hello my darling boy," Ruth said kissing his hair, carefully avoiding the mess. "I need a really good outfit for tonight and I need another woman's eye. By the way thank you for baby sitting at the last minute."

"It's the least I could do. Give me a couple of minutes to clean his cheeky chops and I'll be up.

"Thank you." Ruth proceeded to go up to the bathroom and hung half a dozen dresses up. She'd brought loads of choices because she wanted someone else's opinion.

"Just before we start, you aren't going to sack me if I say something you don't like?"

"Of course not. I'd rather get an honest opinion," Ruth said, as Emily put Jamie on the floor and he looked around confused. Then he decided that his wooden train set was more interesting than boring adult conversation.

"Good boy," Emily said stroking the little boys head as she sat down on the floor next to him. It didn't take long before Ruth came back in with her first choice. A black floor length dress which was very simple.

"What's with that look on your face?" Ruth asked.

"It's fine," Emily said. "But judging from your intense desire to make an impression, its not right."

"Thank you, right on to the next one." She kept trying on the dresses and was glad of Emily's critical eye. She was absolutely the right person for this. No dress was quite right until the fourth choice.

"Bloody hell," Emily said. Then she covered her mouth when she realised she'd sworn in front of Jamie. "Sorry," she said to Ruth. "That… that's an amazing dress." It was an ultramarine blue silk dress that fell straight to the floor. The colour showed off her pale skin beautifully and under the bust it had strips of identical silk that tightened around her ribcage, showing off her figure wonderfully, before the fabric fell in a sheet to the ground. The straps were thin and it was more revealing than Ruth was truly comfortable with, but Emily's reaction spoke volumes.

"Really?" Ruth asked turning around on the spot. The back of the dress was slightly low cut but not immodestly so.

"I'm telling you, if Harry see's you in that, you won't get to the reception tonight."

"Just what I was aiming for," Ruth said with a shy smile. "You really think its right?"

"Absolutely."

"Good, thank you." Ruth smiled as her son started chewing on his toy. Well, she had made an impression, that much was sure.

* * *

><p>Later that evening Ruth was getting changed as Harry was playing with Jamie. She came downstairs and was pleased when Harry's mouth fell open. "Is it alright?"<p>

"Do we have to go tonight?" Harry asked as his eyes ran painfully slowly over her figure, taking in every aspect of her and feeling his fingers ache to touch her.

"That's a yes then is it?" Ruth asked, pleased with his reaction. Harry got up and wrapped his arms around her waist giving her a deep, knee weakening and satisfying kiss. "Okay, shall we go?" Ruth asked slightly breathlessly.

* * *

><p>As their car stopped outside the grand venue Ruth took a deep breath. She was nervous about seeing Harry's ex which was ridiculous as she was married to him, and they shared a beautiful baby boy together. "Are you okay?" Harry asked her.<p>

"Yes," she said. And it was half true.

"I'm the one who should be worried," Harry said. "One look at you and the men will be stabbing me in the back to try and get to you."

"Flatterer," she said with a smile. They got out of the car and entered the hall, once their names had been checked off by the security. "This is a beautiful venue," Ruth said, looking at the sculptures on the wall as they moved further in. The warmth flooded through her once out of the chilly London evening, and she gave her dark wrap to a cloakroom attendant and then realised Harry had been right. She felt several sets of eyes going over her and tried to keep from blushing at the unexpected attention.

"See what I mean?" Harry said. She squeezed his hand and smiled, wishing she could kiss him without any unwanted attention. Walking into the main hall Ruth scanned the room and unfortunately Elena hit her eyes very quickly. The Russian was not looking at her, much to her relief but Ruth felt like she had gotten the upper hand outfit wise. Elena wore a red dress, which didn't quite match her hair. Ruth needed a few seconds to compose herself before Harry spoke. "Shall we?"

Ruth appreciated his hand on the small of her back. She felt like she needed the support.

"Ilya," Harry said. Both Russians turned around and Ilya had half a smirk on his face as Elena's eyes flicked inscrutably over both Harry and Ruth.

"Harry Pearce," he said in a horrible Russian accent. "Never thought I'd see you again."

"Neither did I," Harry agreed.

"And what is this beautiful woman doing with you?" Ilya asked, nodding at Ruth in a way that was meant to be complimentary but in fact turned her stomach.

"May I introduce my wife, Ruth Pearce."

"Delighted to meet you," she lied through her teeth as she shook hands with Ilya. Elena looked at Ruth and realised that this woman knew all about her history with Harry. And yet she was still here. Ruth was silently judging this woman and was ignoring the business talk about the forthcoming partnership deal.

"Shall we leave the men to talk business?" Elena suggested, clearly being used to being ignored when events like this arose. Harry turned to Ruth worried, but she nodded, a fake smile on her face and squeezed Harry's hand in acceptance. Both women left the men alone, and Ruth felt very anxious for this quickly coming conversation.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you enjoyed and more soon.<em>


	43. Chapter 43

_I do hope I don't disappoint anyone with this chapter. Also I have no idea where this is going but I'm certainly enjoying the ride!_

* * *

><p>Once their hands were occupied by their drinks Ruth turned to Elena, waiting for the Russian to start speaking first.<p>

"Your dress is amazing," Elena said.

"Thank you," Ruth said, smoothing a hand down it, glad that they were starting off on at least a semi pleasant basis.

"I can see from your face that you know my… history with your husband."

"Yes I do," Ruth said shortly.

"I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself," Elena said. "It is not something I want publicised or public knowledge."

"I'm not exactly keen to shout about my husbands previous infidelities," Ruth said honestly. "And besides that, I wouldn't say anything anyway."

"Thank you," Elena said. For a moment Ruth wondered if she was sincere. The silence was becoming oppressive when Elena decided to break it with the first thing that came to mind. "Do you have any children?"

"Yes, I have a one year old son. Jamie." Ruth couldn't help the smile that coloured her face whenever she thought of her little boy. Elena's next comment however brought her back down to earth with a horrible bump.

"Is he Harry's?"

"I'm not answering that," Ruth replied with as much dignity as she could manage.

"Sorry, that was inappropriate," Elena said, backtracking quickly. "Is Harry… Is he happy?"

"You're asking his wife," Ruth said taking a sip of her wine. "What answer exactly are you expecting?"

"Ruth, I am not here to complicate your life," Elena said seriously. "I would much rather be sitting in my Moscow house than in grey and rainy London, talking to a woman who clearly hates me on principle. I don't want to be here, and I certainly don't want anything from Harry or you."

"Okay," Ruth agreed. She didn't like the fire of jealousy she felt and didn't want to make it so obviously clear. "If this partnership agreement goes through will you be spending a lot of time in Britain?"

"No," Elena said. "Basically we're just the messengers, even though Ilya likes to pretend he's more."

"Right," Ruth said.

"Sasha is coming over to join us in the next few days," Elena said. "I do not want him to know the truth behind his parentage, so please don't tell him. If you'll excuse me, I've just seen the Russian minister. Elena waved across the room and was lost by the crowd as the smile on Ruth's face froze.

"Manipulative lying bitch," she cursed under her breath. "Yes, give me a shot of vodka," she said to the barman. Swallowing it quickly she turned around and watched the room as everyone was milling around. Harry was still deep in conversation with Ilya but he caught her eye. He seemed to be asking silently if she was okay and she nodded once, before looking elsewhere.

Suddenly someone caught her eye, walking directly over to her. It was William Towers, and at the best of times she found him pompously annoying.

"Miss Evershed, you look absolutely ravishing," Towers said, taking her hand.

"Thank you," Ruth said, as the only response she could think of.

"I can see why Harry keeps you locked away in Thames House."

"I'm married now William," Ruth gently reminded him.

"Oh Harry can deal with a little competition.

"I'm sure he could if there was any," Ruth said with a smile.

"You can wound a mans ego Ruth," William said with a smile. Ruth felt relieved that he'd broken the tension she felt after Elena's conversation.

"Are you keeping my wife occupied Towers?" Harry asked as he came into sight.

"How were you lucky enough to marry this beautiful woman?" Towers asked.

"I have no idea," Harry said honestly. "William, I am going to take my wife for a dance, if you'll excuse us." Towers nodded happily and Ruth took her husbands hand gratefully as he lead them to the dance floor. A slow song was playing and Ruth laced her hands around his neck as he tightened his around her waist.

"See, I can't leave you alone without another man pouncing on you," Harry teased.

"He's got nothing on you," Ruth said with a smile.

"And Elena has none of your various charms," Harry said seriously, pressing her body against his own.

"She told me to keep Sasha's parentage secret." She waited until the significance of that sunk in and she saw the light off knowledge in his eyes.

"She's lying," Harry said. "Please believe me."

Ruth smiled and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "Who do you think I trust more? My husband, or some Russian adulterer?"

"I love you," Harry whispered. And then ignoring the onlookers he kissed her full on the lips. When they broke apart, they were both smiling.

* * *

><p>Elena looked on, feeling a stab of jealousy as Ruth and Harry shared a clearly passionate embrace. She had no rational reason that she should be jealous, but she was. This Ruth was clearly happy and didn't believe a word against Harry. She had only lied about Sasha to get under her skin, but clearly it hadn't worked.<p>

She had only had an affair with Harry Pearce in the first place because she wasn't in love with her husband and felt trapped in an unhappy marriage to a Russian nationalist. She had got in way too far over her head, trapped by secrets, lies and twisted loyalties and after Harry had returned back to London permanently she hadn't dared step out of what was expected of a Russian diplomats wife. Now seeing how happy he was and how well he'd moved on with his life she felt incredibly unhappy and dissatisfied with her marriage. She had learned to live with Ilya, but had never been really happy.  
>And his new wife was beautiful, Elena thought. And was at least ten years younger than herself. Elena didn't like to lose but she had a feeling that this was one battle she would never in her life win.<p>

"Looking at his new model?" Ilya said at her shoulder.

"Yes," Elena replied.

"Do you remember Harry from Berlin?"

"Vaguely," Elena lied. "He hasn't aged well has he?"

"Is that a backhanded complement?" Ilya asked, touching her back softly. She smiled at him happily.

"Anyway, she is far too young and naïve for him," Ilya said, having done a lot of research into his English counterpart a few decades before. "I give her six months to a year before he moves on to someone else." Elena let out a lilting laugh and gave her husband a quick peck on the cheek as they ordered more drinks.


	44. Chapter 44

"No," Harry said firmly. Ruth had walked through to the bathroom and was unpinning her hair and taking her jewellery off.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I saw you in that dress I've been dying to rip it off of you. So get in here and let me."

"No ripping though," Ruth said with a big smile on her face. "It was expensive, even if you don't include the five other alternatives I bought. I wanted to make an impression," she added at his blank look.

"You certainly did that." Harry grabbed her waist and pulled her down onto the bed. "I have never, in my life had a more attractive plus one to any of these events."

"You married the right woman then didn't you?" Ruth smiled as he loomed over her and his fingers slowly pulled the zip on her left down.

"Towers clearly thinks so," Harry said parting the silk from her ribcage as she enticingly wriggled out of it. "He refuses to call you by your married name, it really winds me up."

"He knows it does, that's why he does it," Ruth said as her hands rid him of his white and now very creased shirt. "He likes to get one over on you. Stop reacting and he'll give it up. What do you say whenever he asks how I am? You know, in one of your meetings."

"He asks how the beautiful or charming Miss Evershed is doing and usually I don't deign to reply, or correct him in saying Mrs Pearce is absolutely wonderful, thank you very much."

"Stop reacting," Ruth repeated with a smile as Harry's fingers ran over her stomach and across her ribcage. "It's the only reason he does it."

"He fancies you more like," Harry said, kissing her neck. "Stupid jumped up git. Looking at my wife like that."

"Two things, firstly I'm not your property and secondly, if talking about Towers is your idea of foreplay, I suggest you change your mind set," Ruth said with a laugh in her voice.

"Be quiet and I'll show you my idea of foreplay," Harry said with a growl. She smiled happily as she had one of the most enjoyable and sleepless nights she'd had in a long time.

* * *

><p>The next morning Ruth woke up with her head squashed into a pillow and Harry stroking her back. "Morning," he said sounding horribly amused by how much she clearly enjoyed the night before now that every muscle in her body was aching.<p>

"Mm," Ruth groaned as she sat up feeling the whole world spinning.

"You don't have to come into work if you don't want to," Harry said, kissing her hello. She was disappointed to see he was already dressed for work.

"Mm, and what's my excuse. Exhausted from a night long shag with the boss? I can see that going down well." She swung her legs out of bed and then realised that her stomach was doing back flips. "Oh God, I'm going to be sick." She ran as steadily as she could to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Harry winced as he heard her throwing up in the bathroom. He was hesitating outside when Jamie came into the room. "Mama?"

"Mama isn't feeling very well at the moment," Harry said, lifting the boy to his knee. "She'll be fine, I think she might have a little bit of a hangover." Jamie was looking at him with big wide eyes, not understanding a word. "Dada will play with you."

"Want mama," Jamie said. "Em?"

"Em hasn't come in yet," Harry said feeling pleased at his sons expanding vocabulary and disappointed that he was clearly not the favourite. After a moment of realising he wasn't going to get his way Jamie plopped down on the carpet and picked up one of his teddies that had ended up in their bedroom.

"Good boy," Harry said, patting his head. Jamie ignored him completely, and he ignored Ruth too when she opened the bathroom door.

"Cleary vodka and red wine don't mix," she said with a paler face than normal.

"You were drinking vodka?" Harry asked with a smile. "I didn't want you to get along _that_ well with the Russians."

"Not funny," Ruth said. "I needed some Dutch courage to face Elena last night, do you really want to make fun of me?"

"No," Harry said, reminded of the brilliant and accepting woman his wife was.  
>"Just let me get dressed and I'll head into work with you once Emily is here."<p>

"Em?" Jamie said hearing a name he recognised.

"You don't have to come in."

"Harry, its self inflicted," Ruth said picking a blouse out of her wardrobe. "What would you say if Adam or Dimitri took the day off because they were pi…" she saw Jamie looking at her and changed her wording. "Hung over?"

"I'd tell them to get off their lazy backsides," Harry said.

"See? I'll be fine once I have some toast." Harry knew when it was best not to argue with her. He lifted Jamie up and took him downstairs while his legs went round and round like windmills in mid air and he giggled.

"You're going to be a footballer aren't you?" Harry said sticking him in his high chair."

"Dada!"

"Well done my boy!" Harry said, elated that he'd managed the whole word.

"Lets get you some disgusting mush for breakfast then."

"Ga!" By the time Jamie was fed, Ruth had come downstairs looking her much more like her usual self. Popping bread in the toaster she had a look in the cupboard for something.

"What on earth are you after?" Harry asked while wiping Jamie's face.

"Marmite," Ruth said as if it were obvious. "I know I bought some a while back. Here it is." She appeared holding a large jar of what Harry considered the most disgusting substance in the world. By that time her toast came up and she started slathering it with the horrible back stuff.

"Er, do you think you have enough on there?" Harry asked as it looked like more marmite than toast. Ruth took a bite and then looked at him.

"Yes actually," she replied sitting down. "Just about the perfect amount."

"I can't look at that," he said as a knock came on the door. Harry let Emily in and she seemed much happier today.

"Dad's been discharged from hospital," she announced.

"That's great," Ruth said as she entered the kitchen.

"I know, fantastic news. Have you had breakfast?" she added to Jamie who said one word in response.

"Em."

"Oh he knows who I am," Emily said. "That makes me so happy."

"Harry, we're already late," Ruth said looking at the clock. "And yes, he has had breakfast."

"You're the one who overslept," Harry reminded her. Ruth sighed as they picked up their jackets. "Bye bye handsome," they both said to Jamie who was bouncing up and down in his seat. Before Harry turned the engine on he shared a long kiss with his wife. After all, what was five minutes more?


	45. Chapter 45

"How was the Russian reception?" Jo asked her friend at work.

"Fine," Ruth said.

"And… um… the Gavrik's?" Jo asked delicately making sure Harry was in his office and no one else was in earshot.

"Yes, I met Elena, if that's what you're asking," Ruth replied giving Jo a glance.

"And what did you think?"

"An ageing beauty who isn't taking kindly to nature taking its course on her face. A jealous and a manipulative liar."

"You've got your claws out," Jo said surprised. She had never witnessed a jealous Ruth before and found it quite a surprise.

"I don't mean it, I'm just never going to like my husbands former lover am I?"

"No I guess not. Is she… did she seem intelligent?"

"Unfortunately yes," Ruth replied. "She was an asset for MI5, she has to be intelligent to never have been caught by the FSB."

"More importantly, is she as glamorous as her photos?"

"Yes, probably a little more lovely in the flesh."

"Did you show her up?" Jo asked with a cheeky grin.

"I wore a dress, that got both Harry's and oddly enough, Tower's seal of approval," Ruth said with a suggestive smile.

"I don't need the sordid details of your evening," Jo said.

"Ah well, regretting it now, my stomach won't calm down."

"Harry's not that bad in bed is he?" Jo said before she could stop herself. Ruth blushed a vivid red, making it clear what she had got up to the night before as both women laughed. It was good to be surrounded by friends.

* * *

><p>It was Ruth got home first because Harry had some work to catch up on before his Friday off. She opened the door to her lounge to find Jamie upside down on the sofa, Emily holding his ankles. "Mama!" As soon as Jamie saw Ruth he started kicking to get free. Then he ran to Ruth and promptly fell over. His balance wasn't great yet. Ruth picked him up and gave him a cuddle and a big kiss.<p>

"Hello my little man." He smiled, a gorgeous little boy smile and let her hold him for a few more moments before he started kicking to get down. "Harry's right, he's going to be a footballer isn't he?"

"Well, he does like kicking at everything in sight," Emily agreed. "So if you don't need anything I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks Emily," Ruth said sincerely. "Say bye bye to Emily."

"Bye!"

"Wow," Emily said. "That's a new one."

"Certainly is," Ruth agreed with pride. "Clever boy!"

"Da?"

"Dada will be home soon." Jamie tilted his head as if considering and then walked slightly wobbly to his building blocks, concentrating intensely hard on them. Ruth left him to it for a few moments and went into the kitchen. She opened the cupboard and saw the jar of marmite that had been brand new this morning. Harry had been right, she had eaten quite a lot. But she quite fancied some more so she unscrewed the jar and dipped her finger in. As she was doing this she had a thought which hadn't occurred to her because of all the business with the Russians. Her period was late.

"Oh my God!" She had thrown up this morning and had had a strange craving for marmite all day. Could she miraculously actually be… No she wouldn't think that just in case her hopes were raised only to be let down. She couldn't think about that until she had her answer. At that moment she heard the door unlocking and thanked God that Harry was home. She hurried into the hall and kissed him hello.

"Jamie's playing in the living room and I have to go out," Ruth said quickly. "I'll be back soon." Before Harry could so much as blink she had shrugged her coat on and closed the door behind her with a snap. Harry went to find Jamie who at that moment kicked everything in sight.

"Your mama can be very strange at times," Harry said kissing his sons head. "I don't think I'll ever understand women."

"Bye mama!"

"Oh Jamie, that's a new word for you, you clever boy," Harry said, incredibly pleased with this new development. He ruffled the boys hair making him giggle as they both waited for Ruth to come back.

* * *

><p>Jamie was asleep by the time Ruth got home. She closed the door quietly and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "I was starting to get worried," he said as she sat down in the kitchen. "Where've you been?"<p>

"I needed something and I was waiting until a cashier came on who wouldn't judge me for my purchase."

"That doesn't make any sense," Harry said as Ruth rummaged in her bag. "What are you…" he tailed off as Ruth placed a pregnancy test on the table. They both looked at it like a bomb had been dropped.

"I don't know," Ruth said interrupting the silence, looking at her husband who was watching the test like it was going to pounce on him. "Its just… I was sick this morning and I'm late, so I thought I better… check." Still silence and she was getting more and more worried by his lack of reaction. "Harry will you say something?"

"I am going to be so disappointed if its negative," he eventually said, catching her eyes. She smiled at him, relieved at this. She had been a little scared for a while there. "Go and take it, we have to know." Ruth nodded and went upstairs to the bathroom, Harry following closely behind her. As soon as she was finished she unlocked the door, timing the test on her watch. Harry looked at her as she was willing the second hand to hurry up as it made its slow progress around the dial.  
>"Ruth, whatever it says, I love you, you know that?" Ruth looked up at him and smiled. By the time she looked back at her watch the minute had passed.<p>

"You look at it, I can't," Ruth said biting her lip. Harry moved so he could see the test which was resting in the sink. It had a clear double blue line. He smiled before speaking.

"You're pregnant."

* * *

><p><em>Its just a little chapter but I didn't want to leave you in suspense for too long!<em>


	46. Chapter 46

_My updating speed over the weekend will slow down because I have a lot of work. Hope you enjoy in the mean time. Especially for Abigail's review saying she's enjoying a story she thought she'd hate. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews!_

* * *

><p>"Oh my God," Ruth whispered. "Oh my God, I'm pregnant. Wow."<p>

"It is a good thing, you don't seem happy," Harry said brushing a hand through her hair.

"I'm just in a bit of shock," Ruth said. "I haven't really given it a lot of thought once Jamie came into our lives. Oh God, I'm forty and pregnant." Ruth shook her head as if she couldn't quite believe this was happening. Harry quietly lead her through to the bedroom where she sat on the bed, still in awed silence.

"Are you happy?" Harry asked.

"Yes," she said. "Wow, I'm going to have a baby, I can't believe it." Ruth finally let out a smile. "I just… wow." Harry smiled and kissed her passionately. By the time he let her go she seemed much more relaxed and at ease. "This is good." A massive smile was adorning her face too now.

"Finally, a good reaction," Harry said. "You looked like you'd been hit by a ton of bricks."

"I felt like it," Ruth said. "I do want to get checked out though. I mean, my age, and the fact that it was unlikely I'd ever get pregnant… I'd like to get checked out as soon as possible."

"Of course you would," Harry said taking her in his arms. He held her close and it was a long time before he let her go.

* * *

><p>Harry woke up at three in the morning, unable to sleep. The moonlight was shining directly in their bedroom and lighting Ruth's silhouette up beautifully. The duvet had fallen around her waist and he gently pushed it a few inches lower. He covered her flat stomach with his hand softly at first, but when it was clear she wasn't going to wake he touched her a little more firmly.<p>

"Hello little one," Harry said quietly. "Well, you've made you mum have a panic attack and you haven't even been born yet. Not that she isn't happy, but you're quite a surprise. A wonderful surprise, don't get me wrong, but definitely unexpected. But I want a little word with you. I want you to go easy on your mum for nine months until you're out in the world. We aren't the youngest parents and she's worried that she might lose you. She doesn't tell me, but I can read it in her face. The second she discovered your existence she was worried. But I want you to just hang on until you meet her. Because she is the most wonderful mother in the world, which you'll learn pretty quickly once you're born. You probably can feel it now how much you're wanted. And you have a big brother too. He's a wonderful, loud, kicking bundle of joy. I want to know what you'll be like once you're born. So just remember what I'm saying and hold on tight so nothing untoward will happen. I'd appreciate it. Goodnight little one." Harry lowered himself and kissed Ruth's stomach gently. As he got comfortable around her he felt her stirring.

"Go back to sleep," Harry said firmly, knowing the tone of voice he used meant she wouldn't fully wake up anyway. She turned over, her head in the pillows and fell under the blanket of unconsciousness once more. "I love you both." Harry closed his eyes and eventually slipped back into sleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, nothing much was different. It was Emily's day off so Harry was playing with Jamie while Ruth put her coat on.<p>

"I'll come with you," Harry said.

"No," Ruth said firmly. "You're as worried or concerned as I am and having you worrying over me isn't going to help is it?"

"No but…"

"Harry. Play with our boy while I check everything's okay with our girl."

"Girl?" Harry said with a grin. "That's quick." Ruth smiled with her hands over her stomach.

"Well, it might be a boy, but I kind of have an image in my mind of Jamie protecting his little sister at school. So I'm going for a girl."

"You can call it a girl then," Harry said with a grin. Ruth leaned down as Harry was on the floor playing with Jamie's train set and kissed him.

"We'll all be fine," she said with false confidence. Harry nodded as she left the house.

"Your going have a little sibling," Harry said to Jamie. The little boy tilted his head and blinked at his father in a way that reminded him forcibly of Ruth before Cotterdam had happened. "Oh, I love you," Harry said, kissing his sons messy blonde hair.

* * *

><p>"Mrs Pearce?" Ruth went through with butterflies in her stomach. "I haven't seen you in a while," doctor Stone said with a kind smile.<p>

"Yes, well I took a pregnancy test last night, and apparently I'm expecting."

"Wow!" the doctor said, unable to hide her surprise. "That's…"

"Unexpected?" Ruth suggested with a smile.

"Yes that'll do," the doctor said. "I'll take some blood for testing, just to make sure everything is okay. Do you know how far along you are?"

"Not long," Ruth said. "How long will it take to get the results from the blood testing?"

"Either Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning."

"Is there anyway you can do something to stop me panicking over the weekend?" Ruth asked half desperately.

"Well…" Ruth nodded to try and make her go on. "I could give you an ultrasound but I will need you to stay calm. Mothers to be go hysterical when I do ultrasounds this early because you will not hear your baby's heartbeat and it looks like nothing at this point in time. Its too early, you will not hear it."

"Okay, I understand that. I just need some reassurance, please." The doctor seemed to consider her and then come to an agreement that Ruth wasn't a hysterical woman.

"Right, lie on the table and I'll bring the machine in. I'll be back in five minutes."

"Thank you," Ruth said sincerely. She got comfortable while alone and tried to calm her heart rate. She was very nervous. It seemed like hours later when she wheeled in a machine, with a smile on her face. The doctor smiled and tied her blonde hair up before putting her gloves on.

"Oh my God, that is cold!" Ruth gasped as the gel was put on her stomach. The doctor was concentrating on the screen and Ruth was concentrating on her face, wanting to know if anything was wrong.

"Right, the foetus looks about five weeks," the doctor said with a smile. "Maybe six."

"Healthy?" Ruth asked, the next question on her mind.

"As far as I can tell yes," the doctor said. "The blood tests will confirm that though. Nothing really to see at this point." The screen was turned to Ruth and she looked at it while privately admitting the doctor was right. A small blob was the only thing on the screen. The only evidence that she was pregnant.

"Okay, thank you."

"Its not much but do you want a picture?"

"I better had," Ruth said. "My husband won't forgive me otherwise." The doctor smiled and quickly printed the image as Ruth removed the gel from her stomach. It didn't take long for the doctor to draw her blood and she was soon leaving.

"I know its none of my business, but its more… professional interest than anything else. I'm very surprised and shocked to see you pregnant… were you…"

"Go on," Ruth encouraged.

"Were you and your husband having a lot of sex? Look, I never should have mentioned it," she added at Ruth's red face. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Ruth said with a smile that didn't quite hide her flushed face. She left the doctors surgery with a new spring in her step and a hand on her baby.


	47. Chapter 47

"Well?" Harry asked as soon as the door open. Ruth didn't have a chance to say anything because the grin on her face was a massive giveaway. Harry kissed her right in the hallway before she could do anything else. When he let her go they were both smiling broadly. "So its all okay?"

"Not entirely sure yet," Ruth said. "I've got to wait for some blood test results but the doctor gave me an ultrasound and I'm five weeks pregnant."

"You had an ultrasound without me there?" Harry said, incredibly disappointed.

"Honestly there's nothing to see," Ruth said giving him the picture.

"Okay, you might have a small point," Harry admitted giving the picture back.

"It's a dot Harry," Ruth said blankly.

"The most wanted little dot in the world," Harry said.

"That's sweet of you," Ruth said kissing her husband.

"Mama!" she broke away from him and crouched to the little boy who had come out of the living room and was clutching her leg.

"Come here my little man," Ruth said lifting him up and kissing him. "Just because there's another little one on the way does not make me love you one tiny bit less. You know that? You will always be my first child, okay?"

"Ga!" he agreed happily. Ruth tapped his stomach and he started giggling at her.

"Good," Ruth said, putting the wriggling boy down as he wobbled around the house happily.

"Ruth…" Harry wanted to voice something he'd been thinking about. "I'll understand if this child means more to you." It would hurt him but he understood that a child that was biologically hers… well she might have a stronger connection to the little no name.

"I wouldn't understand," Ruth said. "I didn't give birth to him and Rose would probably want to kill me if she was still alive but he is my son. He's mine. He's ours. He's our little boy." She rubbed her stomach before continuing. "This is my first, in the sense that I've never been pregnant before. And when it happens, it'll be the first time I feel a kick and go into labour. But apart from pregnancy related issues, this isn't my first. Do you understand?"

"I hear what you're saying but you'll probably feel differently when the new one's born. And you're holding him or her little eyelashes flutter at you."

"Jamie'll be two by then. Even now he's his own person. I love him, he's gorgeous."

"I know," Harry said with a smile. He decided to keep his reservations quiet. If Ruth treated them both the same then great, but otherwise he could understand that a child of her own blood could mean more to her. It was only natural after all. They had a good eight months to deal with it anyway. "I love you," Harry said.

"I know, but I have to get to work now."

"Take the day off."

"Harry, I'll be behind a desk, how much trouble can I get into?"

"You want me to answer that?" Harry asked with a cheeky glint in his eye. She hit his arm playfully but was smiling.

"Jamie, mama's going!" Ruth shouted. She just heard a little "bye" that melted her heart. "I'll get home soon," she told her husband giving him a parting kiss before leaving. Harry smiled as he watched her. She was really pregnant. He couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

* * *

><p>Ruth got into the grid at about half past ten and looked around. Everyone was busy but it didn't have the air of national emergency which she was grateful for. Scanning her emails and realising nothing was urgent she sighed in relief.<p>

"You are late," Jo said to her right.

"I know," she said. "Just don't mention it to anyone."

"Lazy morning in bed with the boss," Jo teased.

"Leave it," Ruth said but she couldn't stop the smile on her face. Jo lived with it until about three in the afternoon. Ruth had looked smug all day and she wanted to know why. Jo grabbed her arm and pulled her away from her desk, until they made it up onto the roof where no one would overhear them.

"You want to explain why you've dragged me out here?" Ruth asked wrapping her arms around herself. "Its freezing!"

"I want you to tell me what's happened," Jo said. "We are friends and I can tell you're hiding something."

"I don't want Harry to know that I told you okay?" Ruth said after a moment. She wanted to shout it from the rooftops despite the fact it was early. She was just so happy.

"Of course. We're meant to be good at keeping secrets aren't we?"

Ruth nodded in agreement. She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

"That's fantastic!" Jo said, giving her friend a hug. "Oh that's so good!"

"I know," Ruth said with a massive smile. "But so much could go wrong. I'm not very far gone, only five weeks."

"Still, I'm very happy for you," Jo said. "And Harry obviously. Do you think everything will be okay with Jamie?"

"Yes," Ruth said firmly. "I love that little boy. And he's not just a cute baby anymore. He has his own personality. He's Jamie."

"You're amazing. I am so happy for you and your family."

"Don't mention it to anyone until I start to show. We'll tell everyone when we're ready. But you're my friend and I wanted to tell someone."

"I promise," Jo said. "Congratulations."

* * *

><p>"Yes?" Ruth said answering the phone the second the first ring died away. "No its not too early," she said as Harry yawned next to her. Then he realised who was calling this early on Sunday morning. It must be the doctor because Harry had given her a push to get the blood tests through quicker than usual. He kept a hand on her waist as she kept talking.<p>

"Yes. Right, anything else I need to worry about?" Harry stroked her skin seeing her smile nervously. "Thank you. I know you pushed them through quickly for me, I really appreciate it. Goodbye." Ruth put the phone down and turned to her very worried husband. "Everything's okay," she said with a smile. "As far as they can tell the baby's perfectly fine."

"God I'm relieved," Harry said kissing her. "That's wonderful." He rolled her onto her back and gave her stomach a soft kiss. "Well done baby."

"You can be very sweet when you put your mind to it you know?"

"I managed to snare you didn't I?" Harry said. She laughed before pulling him in for another kiss.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you're all still enjoying. Also as requested I'm going to be working on a clearly pregnant Ruth bumping into a jealous Elena.<em>


	48. Chapter 48

**8 weeks.**

"No, this is so unfair!" Harry lifted his head off the pillows and opened his eyes a fraction. Several things became clear all at once. Ruth's warm body wasn't lying next to him, she was sitting on the floor in a state of undress. Her face was to him in profile and she was crying. Thirdly it looked like the wardrobe had exploded. Coming to the conclusion that sleep was going to be foreign to him from that point onwards he sat up and faced his wife.

"What is it?"

"I can't zip my skirts up!" Ruth said in a tone that made it clear this was the worst thing in the world. "I'm too fat!"

"I'm too old to be crouching on the floor, can you come up to the bed?" Harry asked in a timid voice that made her do what he'd asked. She perched on the edge and was looking down. Harry stroked her hair. "You are not fat, and I won't hear you say it. You are slightly, slightly, larger than you were because there is now two of you. You are growing a whole other human, you are going to get bigger."

"I had a month," Ruth said, sniffing to try and keep the tears at bay. "Women don't show until three months, I'm only at two." Harry thought it would be prudent not to mention that her breasts had got bigger a couple of weeks ago, because he was enjoying them far too much.

"I want our son or our daughter to be as big and healthy as possible. It doesn't matter that you're showing now, it means everything is as it should be."

"How can you put up with me being so hormonal and pathetic?" Ruth asked. "I want this baby as much as you do but I just get so upset so easily now."

"Because I love you," Harry said. He kissed her softly and repeatedly until her tears had dried and she was smiling. He caressed her stomach lovingly. She didn't have a bump but she was gaining a little bit of weight and her curves were becoming wonderfully enhanced. He loved her new body but wasn't fool enough to voice it.

"Okay, I'm not upset anymore," she said with a smile.

"Glad to hear it," Harry said.

"I'm going to have to wear jeans to work though. Until I get some bigger clothes. They're my fat day jeans."

"You're never fat," Harry said out of reflex. She smiled at her husband and dug out her jeans from the back of her wardrobe. Harry breathed a sigh of relief as they fastened at the first attempt. Ruth caught his eye in the mirror and laughed. Harry liked seeing her happy. When she put on her blouse Harry restrained himself from commenting with difficulty. It fitted against her new figure incredibly.

"I am buying new shirts when I get home," Ruth said as his eyes dropped to her full breasts.

"Shame."

* * *

><p>As they appeared on the grid together Ruth felt very aware that she wasn't wearing her usual style of outfit. She gave Harry her customary kiss before he disappeared into his office. As she took her coat off and walked to her desk Adam stopped in the middle of walking past her.<p>

"Have you had legs all this time and I never noticed?" he asked her with a cheeky glint in his eye.

"I had no choice in what I'm wearing today Adam," she said irritably as she sat down and switched her computer on. She felt a little self conscious because her blouse was slightly tight too.

"Harry clearly has the eye for just what is under a woman's clothing doesn't he?" Dimitri teased when Adam leaned over to see his computer screen.

"Will you two morons please shut up," Ruth snapped. "The reason I had to wear this today is because I'm pregnant. I can't help it that my clothes don't fit me anymore!" A silence met this as she had spoken much louder than she had intended and everyone was looking over their stations at her. Erin, Tariq, Jo and both Dimitri and Adam. The only person not looking was Malcolm who must have heard but was giving her some privacy.

"What I meant is that can you please stop staring at me? Thank you very much." Ruth could tell she was blushing beetroot and was thankful that Jo distracted Adam with something relating to their current surveillance. Eventually a bubble of noise broke out over them all.

"I thought you weren't telling anyone yet," Jo said once normality had resumed.

"They were all staring at me," Ruth said. "I'm hormonal and I've had a bad morning, I snapped. I thought I had a few more weeks before I outgrew every item of clothing I own.

"Trust me, I don't think any man in the building will mind when you look like that."

"That almost mirrors Harry's reaction exactly," Ruth admitted. "I am going to buy some bigger clothes, this will be a one time thing."

"I bet Harry's disappointed in that," Jo said. Ruth sighed and didn't answer. After an hour or so when she'd dealt with everything pressing she looked for maternity sites online. She spent idle time browsing exclusive websites she'd never be able to afford before she ordered a batch of boring but necessary clothes and putting express delivery on them. What she didn't realise was that Harry was also browsing maternity websites.

* * *

><p><strong>12 weeks<strong>

Harry woke up at four in the morning rather suddenly. Then he realised why. Ruth's hands were wandering over his chest. Since larger clothes had arrived for her she had become much more comfortable with her growing shape. She still had the occasional mood swings but after all, she was the one growing a human inside her, she was entitled Harry thought.

"I'm sorry I woke you," she said sounding it. "I reached out and touched you before I thought better of it. Sorry, go back to sleep."

"Are you and spud okay?"

"Yes," she replied. "I just wanted to be held and comforted by you, that's all. I'm being selfish."

"Don't be silly," he said. He pulled her to him, her head resting on his shoulder as he stroked her hair. He felt the slight bulge of her stomach pressing against him and smiled. He turned the bedside lamp on and looked at her. "So what is it that meant you couldn't sleep?"

"We made it to three months," Ruth said happily. "Most miscarriages happen in those first three months and our little one's still here."

"He'll be there for another six too," Harry said firmly as he reached over and turned the lamp on. "But you've reminded me of something. I have a present for you."

"Why?" Ruth asked confused.

"You know how the Russians are arguing over every little thing in this agreement we're working on?" Harry asked. Ruth nodded. She wasn't directly working on it but she did appreciate Harry keeping her informed, especially with his doubtful history.

"Well, they are getting closer and closer to an agreement. It might only take a month or two longer for this to be ironed out.

"They are making this drag on," Ruth said. "I thought this was meant to be for mutual benefit of our countries?"

"I'll reserve judgement on that one," Harry said with a growl. "Anyway, my point is that by that time you are going to be visibly pregnant to anyone who cares to look."

"You know how to make a girl feel special don't you?" Ruth said sarcastically.

"There will be a celebratory ball or gala or something posh, fancy and completely unnecessary once the partnership deal is signed, and it looks like it will be. I will be required to attend and I want you with me. So I have bought you a maternity dress which I hope you like. I can't imagine being there without you."

"You didn't have to buy me anything," Ruth said. "I'd go with you just because you asked me to, I don't need another reason, no matter how fat I might feel." Harry paused to kiss her thoroughly before getting out of bed and hunting for the box he'd hidden there. Eventually he handed it to her before snuggling back up next to her. Ruth smiled at her husband and lifted the lid off the box. "Oh my God Harry, that's beautiful." It was an emerald dark green, strapless, floor sweeping dress. As she took it out of the box she realised the bodice had extra boning for support, which she appreciated. She got up and held the dress up to her figure to see how it looked up against her. There was a line of black lace under the bust and the rest of the dress fell in folds to the floor, draping over whatever stage pregnancy bump she may have at the time. She could see that he had put a lot of thought into this dress, and how uncomfortable she may feel confronting Elena again while pregnant and less than her thinnest self. Remembering how much he cared for her brought a tear to her eye. "I love it, thank you."

"I saw that online and I thought my wife carrying my child will look beautiful in that."

"How long have you had it?" she asked as she got back in bed.

"A few weeks," Harry said. "I didn't want to tempt fate, so I waited before I gave it to you."

"Thank you," Ruth said. She leaned over and kissed him passionately. They broke apart when they heard Jamie crying. "I'll get him." Before Harry could say a word she'd left their bedroom.

"What's wrong little handsome man?" Harry heard over the baby monitor. He smiled as he heard his wife rocking his son and cooing over him.

"God I love you."

* * *

><p><em>Hope you're enjoying. There's a link on my profile to the dress Harry gave Ruth if anyone wants to look :)<em>


	49. Chapter 49

**13 weeks**

* * *

><p>Harry sighed internally as he sat down opposite Towers in his office. "So what emergency is it this time?"<p>

"Nothing," Harry said. "Things seem to be running better than smoothly.

"Then you're here because?"

"We are required to have these weekly meetings between our offices," Harry reminded him.

"Ah yes. You could have sent Ruth," Towers said with half a smile, wondering how far he could push Harry. "I'm sure you have more important things to do and I haven't seen the beautiful Miss Evershed in quite a while. Ever since the Russian reception I believe. How is she?"

"I think she's very well thank you," Harry said with a smile. "A little tired but its to be expected what with the baby and everything." A pause as Towers looked blankly at him. "Ruth's pregnant."

"Oh, um congratulations," Towers said, clearly surprised. "Although I'd love to know what you have to make women crawl all over you."

"I don't know what she sees in me to be honest, but she seems happy."

"Well congratulations," Towers repeated. "How is the other one? Jamie?"

"He's fine, loud and kicks everything in sight," Harry said with pride. "How is your wife?" he added, wanting to move the conversation away from his family life slightly.

"Fine," Towers replied. "She's visiting our daughter for a few days, I couldn't get away from the office." The conversation went on smoothly until Harry got up to leave.

"Do pass on my congratulations to Mrs Pearce won't you?"

"I certainly will," Harry said, privately appreciating her change in name. "Thank you William."

* * *

><p>Harry got home late that night because of a JIC meeting that had overrun. When he opened the door he found Ruth carrying Jamie round in circles as the boy giggled. "I'm tiring him out before b.e.d." Ruth said spelling out the word because Jamie had recently worked out what bed meant.<p>

"Stop for a minute," Harry said. She stilled and looked at him confused. "Hello," he said after kissing her. "And hello to you my little tyke!"

"Dada!" Harry smiled as Ruth put him down and he ran off. He was actually running now rather than walking and then falling over a few seconds later.

"I wanted to talk to you," Ruth said as she went through to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"No good has ever come to a man after hearing his wife say that," Harry said. She reassured him with a brief kiss.

"I think we should get rid of your office in the house, you never use it anyway," Ruth added as he looked at her blankly. "When I moved in, nothing really changed in the house, which was fine. We were busy and you had the space for me. Then Jamie came along and we turned the spare room into his bedroom. Now with this one," she paused giving her stomach a pat. "We have no room for him or her. I don't want to move house because this is where we finally became us properly, so I've been thinking we can get rid of your office."

"Yes," Harry said.

"That's it, you're not going to argue with me?" Ruth asked, bewildered. She'd expected a bit of a fight.

"Of course I'm not arguing," Harry said. "Spud needs a room and I don't think I've used my study once since I married you."

"Okay," Ruth said giving him a kiss. "Good. I was worried about asking you that. I don't want you to feel like I'm emasculating you. I mean lot of our lives revolves around both of our children."

"I love you," Harry said simply. "You could redecorate the whole house if it would make you happy and I wouldn't care."

"I love you too," Ruth said. She was interrupted from looking into Harry's eyes by a tiny hand pulling on her leg.

"Mama?" She looked down and saw him doing a perfect little yawn.

"Come on then," Harry said, picking Jamie up. "Time for sleepy byes."

"I can do that," Ruth said.

"No, I'll put him down, you relax," Harry said. "Say goodnight to mama."

"Na!" Ruth smiled, knowing that was his version of goodnight.

"See you tomorrow handsome," Ruth said. She smiled as both the men in her life left the room and she made herself some tea.

By the time Harry came downstairs Ruth was halfway through a tub of vanilla ice cream watching some period drama on the TV. "Which Austen is it? Pride and Prejudice?" Harry asked recognising the type of thing she was watching.

"No, Persuasion," Ruth said, wriggling across the sofa so he could sit down.

"That's the worst story in English literature," Harry said, taking her feet in his lap and gently starting to rub them.

"I think its romantic," Ruth said with a glint in her eye. "Two people who can't quite get together because the timing is always wrong and things beyond their control. Then years later everything falls into place. Its romantic."

"You may have a point," Harry said, digging his thumbs into the arches of her feet making her sigh. "By the way Towers gave his congratulations for the bump today."

"You told him?"

"Yeah, was that okay?" Harry asked worried.

"I guess he'll stop flirting with me now," Ruth said.

"There's no need to sound so disappointed," Harry said correctly reading her tone of voice.

"Its not that, I spent years of my life feeling completely undesirable to everyone in the world. It was flattering to have a small distraction with Towers."

"Hm," Harry said sounding thoroughly unconvinced. Ruth fidgeted and moved so she straddled his lap, her body pushing against his delightfully.

"No one in my life has made me feel as beautiful or as wanted as you do, every single day," Ruth said with a smile. "He was a minor distraction at boring political events and dull meetings. Now kiss me and make me feel like something other than a fat expanding house." He needed no further persuasion and kissed her firmly, and didn't stop for a long time.

* * *

><p><strong>15 weeks.<strong>

"Wake up!" Ruth hissed, giving Harry a hard shove.

"What?" he moaned sleepily.

"Your child is moving now wake up!" Harry jerked upright and put both hands on Ruth's bump before his eyes had properly opened. Ruth smiled as she felt the child turn over as a flutter in her stomach.

"I can just feel it," Harry said honestly.

"I can _really_ feel it," Ruth said in a quiet awestruck way. Eventually the movement stopped and she collapsed into the pillows. "That makes it so real." Harry stared at her with a quirked eyebrow. "Yes I know the large stomach and mood swings were massive giveaways but this makes it more than an abstract idea."

"Yes, Jamie really is going to be a big brother," Harry said with a smile. "Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?" he asked once she'd settled comfortably against him.

"Yes," she said instantly. "I want to be proved right that it's a little girl."

"Okay," Harry said. "Whatever you want."

"You want to know too don't you?" Ruth asked.

"God yes," he said. "Can start properly thinking of names then. Once we know whether my office will be painted blue or pink."

"So we've agreed?"

"Yes," she said. She kissed him happily and they slipped into sleep. But not before the unborn Pearce gave another happy kick.

* * *

><p><em>I probably won't use the headers "13 weeks" all the way through her pregnancy but its fun for the moment. Next time the scan and we find out whether its a boy or a girl.<em>


	50. Chapter 50

**17 weeks**.

"Be quiet Jamie," Harry said, very aware that everyone in the waiting room was staring at Jamie who was bouncing up and down and gigging to himself. They were all in the hospital waiting room for Ruth's scan. They had agreed that bringing Jamie was a good idea because they needed to get him used to the idea that soon there would be another child in his house. All he could see at the moment was mama's getting bigger. So he didn't feel excluded they felt that including him would be the best option.

"Ruth Pearce?" She smiled as Harry picked a kicking Jamie up and they went through to the consultation room. Jamie looked around the new room with wide eyes as Ruth got comfortable on the examination table.

"Hello," the doctor said. "And who's this?" she asked seeing the little boy.

"Ja-i!" Both Ruth and Harry laughed at their boy.

"Jamie," Ruth said as Harry was jiggling the little boy up and down. The doctor smiled and settled next to Ruth, setting the equipment up.

"Ooh," Jamie said seeing so many different things. Harry kissed his head as they waited for the ultrasound machine to focus. Keeping Jamie tight with one hand he held Ruth's with the other. Jamie saw Ruth's prominent stomach as she lifted her shirt and said something that would stay with Ruth for the rest of her life. "Ooh! Mama fat!"

Even the doctor was laughing, though she tried to hide it. "Nice to know I'm loved," Ruth said as the cold gel hit her stomach. Jamie kept looking around the room but was mercifully still while they were waiting for judgement to be called. The screen came up and a dull thumping through the room was the very clear heartbeat which made Ruth sigh with relief. Jamie wriggled down from Harry's lap trying to find the source of the noise and was very confused.

"Okay, right, the size of the foetus looks just about right," the doctor said looking at the screen and slowly moving the ultrasound across Ruth's stomach. "Right, I can tell whether it's a boy or a girl. Are you interested in knowing?"

"Yes," both Harry and Ruth said at the same time, catching each others eyes with a smile glinting there.

"You are going to be proud parents of a baby girl." Harry leaned over and kissed Ruth briefly.

"Are you ever wrong?" he asked her. Her only reply was the massive grin on her face.

"Jamie, come here," Ruth said holding her hand out. The little boy walked to her with his thumb in his mouth. "You've got a little baby sister on the way!"

"…mama?" he looked very confused and Ruth couldn't blame him.

"I'm still your mama," Ruth said, looking at the picture on the screen. By this time a picture had been printed and Ruth looked at it feeling a shock of happiness in her little girl, before passing it to Jamie. He looked at it and then decided it was boring and held it out to his dad before plonking down on his bum on the floor happily.

"I'm so happy," Harry said, kissing her again. "I have a wonderful family."

"Don't you forget it," Ruth said in a stern voice. But her face was smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>19 weeks.<strong>

"Harry, I need a hand!" Ruth called downstairs. "And you can stay quiet," she added to her baby who had just kicked. She looked in the bathroom mirror and thought that yes, Harry had picked the dress out perfectly for tonight. She felt a little nervous about the Russian contingent she would be meeting tonight for only the second time. But she also felt happy with herself and her life at the moment. Jamie was a happy little boy, Harry seemed happy with work, and very happy with his home life consisting of Jamie and the bump and herself. Also Catherine had called seeming very happy with her life today too which always put Harry in a good mood. And Ruth knew that she herself was very happy too. A small part of her was waiting for it all to go wrong because she never thought she could be this happy in her life. She didn't think her heart could contain this much love for one person, let alone three.

"Oh wow!" Harry said seeing her in the mirror. Ruth turned and he got a full view.

"I need help with the zip." Ruth said. "I can't reach it."

"Mm," Harry agreed. His hands touched her back teasingly, not touching the zip once but running over bare skin.

"Harry, Jamie is still awake and Emily's here. Do you really think this is the best idea?"

"Always," Harry murmured, but he obligingly zipped the dress up. She turned around and he appreciated the way the dress skimmed over her beautifully, stopping just at her feet. The only jewellery she wore was her wedding and her engagement rings, otherwise her skin was bare and she looked absolutely perfect.

"I don't look too fat? I'm worried I'll be the biggest woman there."

"Even if you are, you are the most beautiful and absolutely the most loved."

"Thank you," Ruth said giving him a kiss.

"Are you nervous?" Harry asked as they went descended down the stairs.

"Not nearly as much as I was last time," Ruth said honestly. "I was terrified that you still had feelings for her, but I know that's not true."

"It isn't."

"I know," she echoed.

"Just in case a repeat of last time comes around I want you to know that I have four children. I'm not lying."

"Harry, I trust you," she said with a smile. "I love you." Without a further word she went into the living room where Jamie was in hysterical laughter as he was being tickled by Emily. Ruth bent down and picked him up while Harry watched anxiously.

"Tell your daddy that I can pick you up without him having to worry for my health," Ruth said to Jamie, knowing what her husbands silence meant. He ran a hand down her back in comfortable acknowledgement. "Mummy and daddy will be home soon. You be a good little boy for Emily okay?"

"Em?"

"Yes," Harry said kissing Jamie's head. "Ready?" he asked as Ruth put the boy down.

"I think so," Ruth said. Hand in hand they left their house for the evening ahead.

* * *

><p><em>I am really not in love with this chapter at all. :( Hope others don't find it as disappointing as I did though. And on a positive note this story has made it to 50 chapters! Thank you for all your encouragement and fantastic reviews :)<em>


	51. Chapter 51

_This chapter took on a life of its own! Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter, clearly I'm too critical because it seems a lot of people enjoyed it. Still at 19 weeks..._

* * *

><p>Their car drew to a stop outside the venue, a wonderful open plan Russian estate, to celebrate the partnership which Harry said would make no difference to state of either nations security one little bit. "I can guarantee you will be the most beautiful woman in that building."<p>

"You're my husband, you're biased," Ruth said.

"Nothing sexier than a woman who is pregnant with my child and with that gorgeous glow you have," Harry said, mirroring his honest thoughts. Ruth hit his arm playfully but appreciated the gesture nonetheless. She didn't realised he was speaking the Gods honest truth. As they left the car Ruth thought the building was very impressive, but the layout was very similar to the first meeting all those months before. At first Harry kept a tight grip on her arm as they slowly moved throughout the hall.

"I'm not going to fall over if you let me go," Ruth said with a smile. He kissed her cheek as they kept on going, loosening his touch a fraction. The first person they bumped into was Adam who was keeping an eye on everything on ground level. They had Tariq monitoring the surveillance too.

"You look amazing," Adam said to Ruth.

"Thank you," she said with a smile.

"Everything okay?" Harry asked in an undertone. He wasn't wired up but knew Adam was.

"Yeah fine," Adam murmured. "I think its going to go okay tonight."

"Good," Ruth said. They carried on through the room and eventually they met Ilya and Elena Gavrik. Ruth felt very uncomfortable when both of the Russians eyes were drawn to her stomach. She had been in the office permanently when Harry had point blank refused to let her into any meetings while carrying their child. She hadn't argued to strongly but this meant that neither of the Gavrik's knew about her pregnancy.

"So I see congratulations are in order," Ilya said when he looked at their faces again.

"Thank you Ilya," Harry said, keeping an arm on the small of Ruth's back.

"Whenever I meet you the number of children you have keeps increasing," Ilya said with just a hint of an insult. Harry kept a smile on his face even though he felt like throttling the man. How dare he cast aspersions on his personal life. Ruth was twice the woman Elena was, that he knew for a fact. In fact twice might be insulting to Ruth, more like three or four.

"So you battled for nuclear capability did you?" Harry asked in a gruff voice, changing tact. Elena smiled blandly at Ruth and she knew this was her indication to break away. Ilya was silent, clearly he didn't believe discussing business with women in earshot.

"Shall we get a drink Ruth?" Elena said. Ruth smiled and her eyes were twinkling at Harry that declared her happiness more than words ever would. She walked slowly beside Elena who wore a black floor length dress and her red hair streaming down her back. Ruth was more convinced than ever before that the colour came from a bottle. It might have been that luminous in her youth but not any longer. "Yes, a red wine and…?

"A lemonade please," Ruth said in the gap in the conversation. "Thank you," she said taking a sip.

"I'll echo my husbands congratulations," Elena said. Ruth knew it was empty but thanked her anyway. "How far along are you?"

"Nineteen weeks," Ruth said. "I know I'm bigger than most women are at 19 weeks."

"No, you're doing very well," Elena said honestly. "When I was pregnant with Sasha I couldn't move out of bed for about six months." _Lazy cow_. The Ruth thought that was probably uncharitable, after all she didn't like the woman but she'd do the best for her child. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Elena said.

"You can ask," Ruth said, anxious about what was coming.

"Does it bother you that Harry will just move on to the next woman once there's too much baggage with you? He'll get bored." Elena said.

_Bitch!_ "Harry will not be moving on from me," Ruth said with as much dignity as she could muster. "I'm not naïve, I know he has a past and he isn't proud of it, but he doesn't lie to me or hide things from me. I know more about his past than he would probably be comfortable with, but he trusts me. We're happy. Why does it bother you what the state of my relationship with Harry is? At least we're happy."

"I think your expectations of him are too high. The entire time with me, he had a wife and two children which he didn't think twice about. It will become you. You're not exactly the young show wife a man of his age normally chooses for his second wife." Ruth felt like she'd been slapped. _That jumped up little bitch!_

"As opposed to you, the Russian who did everything right, married the man she was told to in her early twenties and got sunk in a web of deception and lies. You got pregnant as soon as you could and lost everything because you turned to spy for the west, except the fact that you are still married to a man you don't like. You have eternal sadness in your eyes. So yes, I did everything backwards and didn't marry at all until I turned forty, I didn't have a child in my twenties like is expected of most women but I am happier than you have ever been. Don't criticise my personal life when you yourself are so clearly unhappy." Ruth decided she'd had enough of the Russian and wouldn't stay talking to someone who degraded her and disrespected her life choices.

She left and stood alone by the wall trying to calm down because it wasn't doing her blood pressure any favours. She felt a painful kick in the ribs. "Don't worry sweetheart, ignore the evil witch, you know you're wanted don't you?" Another kick near her ribs. "Good girl. Both you and your brother are so wanted and loved by both me and your dad, okay?"

At that moment Harry came over to her, a slight crease on his forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked. Ruth checked to make sure no one was in earshot.

"Your Russian ex is a total bitch," Ruth said. "Apparently you have too much baggage and you'll get bored with me and move on to the next one because I'm not the typical show wife you should have picked and married."

"She said that?" Harry asked bewildered.

"Yes, she must be a very unhappy woman," Ruth said, biting her lip. "I just needed time to calm down."

"I'm going to have a word with her, she can't treat my wife that way."

"Don't bother," Ruth said. "It won't change anything anyway." He took a deep breath, knowing she was right but wanting to do something to take her mind off of Elena Gavrik.

"Do you want to dance with me?" Harry asked with a twinkle in his eyes that he knew she found irresistible.

"You don't want to dance with someone as fat as me," Ruth said shaking her head sadly.

"Yes I do," he said. "I want any excuse to wrap my arms around you." Ruth smiled and allowed him to lead her to the floor. By the time the first song had ended she felt much more relaxed. It was hard to stay upset or angry when Harry was holding her like this.

Halfway through the next song Harry gasped as he felt the baby kick. He was so tightly wrapped around Ruth that it was easy to feel. "She likes making her presence known doesn't she?"

"Yes indeed," Ruth said with a smile. Her eyes were glowing with happiness after she'd felt their daughter move and he couldn't resist planting a gentle kiss on her full soft lips.

It was this sight that made Elena see the truth. She would never be happy. Not with Ilya, not ever. She saw her husband was currently at the bar, no doubt stocking up on vodka and not engaged with conversation with any politician. Now was as good a time as any she thought.

"Ilya, I want a word with you in private," she said, switching to fluent Russian so at least some people wouldn't be able to understand their conversation.

"Can't it wait, tonight's a very important night in case you haven't noticed." She sighed. She was so tired of waiting for everything, always being last with him.

"Ilya, I want a divorce."


	52. Chapter 52

_This chapter is more focused on the plot than the fluffiness, but I hope its enjoyed anyway._

* * *

><p>"Oh no, no, no, no, no," Harry groaned as the phone rang. The alarm clock was flashing 4:52 so this had better be good. "What?"<p>

"Harry, I really don't want to disturb you but I thought you'd want to know," Adam said in one quick breath as Ruth turned over, a hand on her husbands chest and very annoyed at being woken up.

"Adam, I have a pregnant wife who gets hormonal when she misses out on her sleep, get to the point and do it fast."

"Elena Gavrik's been found with her throat cut."

"Oh my God!" Harry sat up rubbing his face. "She was fine this evening what the hell happened?"

"We've got her on CCTV leaving the reception with Ilya and they were arguing. He left her and that's the last we see of her until her body was discovered in St James Park about half an hour ago."

"We need to know what her conversation was with her husband before she died," Harry said.

"I have a lip reading analyst coming to Thames House as soon as she can to view the tapes, I just thought you'd want to be informed. What with your… history."

"Thanks Adam," Harry said sincerely before disconnecting the call. He froze for a few seconds before his wife moved slightly.

"What did he want? I'm only on my third hour of sleep and don't appreciate him interrupting," Ruth moaned.

"That lack of sleep is entirely your own fault," Harry said stroking her hair. "If you hadn't leapt on me the second Emily left there wouldn't be a problem would there? In fact I seem to remember you finding me irresistible three times until you were satisfied."

"I wasn't satisfied at three, I just didn't think you could go for the fourth round," Ruth said. The sleepy teasing smile on her face made it clear that she was purposefully winding him up. "Anyway, you're avoiding the question, what did Adam want?"

"Elena's been murdered."

"Oh my God," Ruth said. "But we saw her less than twelve hours ago, she… was horribly rude actually."

"I know," Harry said. "She's…" he hesitated because he didn't want to give her a shock, not when she was pregnant. Ruth seemed to read his mind.

"Harry, I work with you. I've seen it all. Usually I'm the one handing you the particularly delightful pictures of gruesome murders." Harry nodded in acknowledgement.

"Her throat was cut and her body was dumped in St James Park."

"Fabulous," Ruth said sarcastically. "Oh my God I can't believe it. Who do you think did it?"

"I'd be willing to bet the house it was Ilya," Harry said. "Or at least on his orders. He might not have wanted to dirty his hands personally."

"I mean I didn't like her but I didn't want her dead." Harry nodded in agreement and silently stroked her hair as she settled on his chest. Sleep was now far from both of them.

"We'll deal with that at work tomorrow," Harry said. "I want you to sleep and take care of spud."

"Mm," Ruth said. It took a long time but eventually she felt her eyes drifting closed when Harry decided to speak

"You don't think…"

"What?"

"That I hurt her?"

"Of course I don't," she said sleepily. "You must have had too much to drink if you think I'll ever believe that. I trust you, I don't believe you are capable of cold blooded murder, and even if I did, you've had your arms around me all night long."

"Ruth, I have killed people you know," he said.

"Yes, I know," she replied. "But I also know you aren't a bad man. Now is there anything else or can I sleep?

"Go to sleep," he soothed. It didn't take long before she drifted off. Harry stroked her hair very, very torn with emotions. He didn't care for Elena but he hadn't wanted to see her murdered either. And professionally it was annoying that a Russian diplomats wife had been murdered on British soil. He was sure this was Ilya. He'd talk to Adam about it tomorrow. Or later today actually. For the moment, he just wanted to make sure that his family were safe.

* * *

><p>The next day Harry got into the grid early while Ruth waited for Emily to take Jamie for the day. Harry wanted to be the first to know the details but he didn't know why. He was interrupted in his thoughts by Adam sitting in his office before he'd even opened the door.<p>

"Well?" Harry asked.

"I've had the lip reader in," Adam said. "She got here really early because apparently she had a flight to catch to St Petersburg. I've got the tape from the CCTV here but it doesn't tell you much. From certain angles you can't catch what was being said. Basically Elena asked Ilya for a divorce and they left the venue."

"Elena would never do that," Harry said. "She likes her comfortable life being the Russian diplomats wife too much."

"She did it Harry," Adam said, reinforcing the fact. "They got into a big argument on the street but the camera's were too far away to make out what was said. Ilya slapped her before she walked away. That's the last time she was caught alive on the CCTV."

"Okay," Harry said, coming to terms with a new side of the woman he thought he'd known. But then people change in twenty years don't they? he thought to himself.

"What about the post mortem? I know its early but…"

"We are not doing one," Adam said. "Her body is being flown back to Moscow right now."

"That's insane," Harry said. "She might be Russian but she was murdered on British soil, very possibly by her Russian husband with whom Britain has just signed a partnership deal, sharing intelligence and the like."

"Ilya threatened to completely walk out on the partnership deal, taking Russia with him unless he was allowed to talk Elena's body home."

"He's already signed, he couldn't do that," Harry replied.

"He sounded so capable that the Home Office just let him. I didn't call you because there was nothing you could have done. Towers had already caved in," Adam said.

"Did we at least get a time of death before the Russians took her body?" Harry asked.

"Between midnight and one," Adam said.

"Well at least that narrows it down," Harry said. "I want to know where Ilya was at that time."

"Harry…" Adam tailed off wondering whether he was brave enough. Harry nodded for him to continue. "This is pointless, it's a murder investigation. Its police work. What do you hope to achieve by carrying on with this?"

"Elena Gavrik did not deserve to have her throat cut because she was choosing to leave Ilya. If she was murdered by our Russian partner on UK soil, that very much makes it my business. I can't bear to let him get away with it. I've hated Ilya for nearly thirty years. I need to know if its justified."

"Okay," Adam said. "Good luck explaining that to your wife though."

"She knows that the truth is important," Harry said with more confidence than he felt. Elena wasn't exactly the best subject between them. He sighed, knowing as he did so that for thirty years Elena had been more trouble than she was worth. Even in death she was carrying on in fine fashion.


	53. Chapter 53

**20 weeks**

"Er… do you think you have enough sugar in that?" Harry asked as Ruth stirred her decaf tea, in the tiny kitchenette on the grid.

"I don't get a caffeine kick anymore because I'm pregnant, is there a problem with adding as much sugar as I want?" Ruth asked. Harry looked at his wife and recognised the look on her face. It was the classic, I'm hormonal and you don't want to mess with me look. A look Harry had come to recognise over the past few months.

"No, not a problem at all," Harry said. "I came to tell you Ilya is halfway to Moscow now."

Ruth sighed. "He did it didn't he?"

"Yes."

"We're not going to catch him for it are we?"

"No."

"Why is Sasha giving him an alibi, we all know he's lying!" Ruth said. It was true but on the other hand it was his father he was protecting.

"If you were him would you really want to believe your father murdered your mother?" Harry asked. Ruth nodded knowing he had a point. "Everyone knows he did it, even the Russians. But they have also discovered she was a western spy so their interest was significantly reduced."

"How did they find that out?" Ruth asked.

"I don't know and they aren't being forthcoming either," Harry said. "Its over. We won't catch him now."

"Why do people like that literally get away with murder when people like me get set up and have to go into hiding for three years for something that they didn't do?" Ruth took a large gulp of her sugared tea as Harry felt a cold thrill through him at her mention of Cotterdam.

"Never again," Harry said in a low voice. He wrapped his arms around her, his hands both resting on her large stomach as her head leaned against his chest. "I hated letting you go."

"I hated going," Ruth echoed. "But oddly enough it makes me smile now. We've both come so far since then."

"Yes we have," Harry agreed. "I daresay we haven't heard the end of Ilya, but for now…"

Ruth laughed as Harry's lips started kissing her neck softly. "Mm," she said with her eyes closed. She was concentrating so hard she didn't hear the door open.

"Oh, God sorry!" Jo said as she walked in. Harry turned to see her blonde hair vanishing as the door shut with a loud snap. He turned back to his wife who had a light blush on her cheeks and a smile on her face.

"Where were we?"

* * *

><p><strong>22 weeks<strong>

"Open wide little man," Ruth said as a spoon went sailing into Jamie's mouth.  
>"How do you do that?" Harry asked as Jamie happily swallowed and then opened his mouth again for the last spoonful. "Whenever I feed him food ends up everywhere."<p>

"Maybe he just likes me more," Ruth suggested with a small smile. Harry kissed the top of her head.

"What do you fancy for dinner?" he asked. After a memorable occasion a couple of months ago when Ruth had ended up not eating dinner at all and then sneaking downstairs at midnight and cooking herself a curry, he had realised that her input was required while she was pregnant.

"Oh, fish and chips," she said instantly. "Soaked in vinegar sounds delightful."

"Well, I'll get that when you put him to bed if that sounds okay?

"No!" Jamie said loudly, his fist hitting his high chair hard.

"Harry, you know you can't say b.e.d. in front of him, why are you making life hard?" Ruth asked, exasperated.

"Sorry," he replied sincerely as Jamie was now shaking his head from side to side viciously. "Oi!" Harry lifted the boy to his chest and held him tight. "Be nice for your mum because everyone needs… sleep," Harry edited, not wanting him to kick up more of a fuss. "Mummy will read you the dragon book if you're a good boy." He tilted his head as if thinking and then kicked to be put on the floor.

"Oh my God!" Ruth gasped as their daughter kicked too, really hard into her ribs on the left. "Wow, that was a big one," she said as the movements slowly subsided.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked concerned.

"Just took the wind out of me that's all. She's getting stronger."

"Good," Harry said sincerely.

* * *

><p>Later that evening Ruth had just sat down when Harry came in bringing the delightful smell of fish and chips with him. "Oh that smells so good!" Ruth said as he sat next to her. She was so hungry she was going to eat it out of the paper rather than wait a few seconds to get plates. "Oh that's so good," she repeated as she ate a few chips. They ate in silence until most of their food was gone. Ruth looked at the battered skin of the cod which she'd left and she looked oddly sad which Harry thought an overreaction.<p>

"I used to give Fidget a little bit of whatever I left," Ruth said sadly. "You never told me what happened to him."

"I took him in like you asked me to," Harry said. "About six months before you came back he was run over by a car. I'm sorry."

"Oh no," Ruth said sadly. "I guessed he might have died but hit by a car…"

"Sorry," Harry said stroking her back.

"Mm," she agreed. "Poor little thing."

"I missed him when he went," Harry said. "It was like I was living with a little piece of you while he was here."

Ruth lapsed into silence while Harry brought up something he'd been thinking about. "Ilya said something at the Russian celebration which made me think of something."

"Oh, so we did gain something useful from that then?" Ruth asked.

"Yes," Harry said. "Or I think I did. It was meant as an insult but Ilya said I keep having more children, which is true but I'm happy now. I have two grown children who are happy even though Graham won't speak to me, I keep an eye on him and I know he's safe. I have a beautiful ball of energy in Jamie, and your pregnant with my fourth. I wanted to know if you wanted anymore children, or if I should think about having a vasectomy."

"Whatever I was expecting you to say, it wasn't that," Ruth said to herself. "Um… let me think for a minute." Harry was silent as she processed what he was saying. "I don't think after this one," she said rubbing her stomach gently. "I don't think I do want anymore children. I gave up on having any children years ago so the fact that I now have two that I consider mine is twenty times more than I ever thought I'd have. I think one of each would be good, yes. A boy and a girl. But if you really want to do this, I do think I'd like to wait until this one's born. Just so I can be sure I won't lose her."

"You aren't going to lose her," Harry said trying to reassure her. He knew this was her biggest fear.

"What if I was hit by a bus tomorrow? And you met someone else who wanted a child of their own?"

"Ruth there never will be anyone else for me," he said in a low voice. "There never has been." She smiled as he said that. He always made her feel special in a way no one else had ever managed to do.

"Okay, if you want to do this then yes, I'll be okay with it," Ruth said. "But I would like to wait until this ones keeping us up all night. Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's very okay," Harry said.

"Unless you're carrying on a torrid affair behind my back which is where this sudden desire has come from?" He looked at her face and could see she was teasing him.

"Ruth, I have a stressful job, I have a child who is under two and another one on the way, and I'm married to a beautifully sexy woman who frequently keeps me up half the night. When exactly have I got time to have an affair?"

"Right answer," she said with a smile just before Harry kissed her lips, his stubble causing wonderful friction against her skin. How could he do this to her? Make her want him so quickly. That man was impossible and completely desirable, she thought. Especially when his hands did _that_…

* * *

><p><em>No idea where to go from here... but while I'm thinking about it does anyone have any baby girl names?<em>


	54. Chapter 54

_A little chapter because I've come to a bit of a stalling point. Using one of Mtn Cousin's suggestions here._

* * *

><p><strong>25 weeks<strong>

"And that is the last box of rubbish," Harry said, dumping the offending item in the hallway. Ruth looked at her husband and felt really happy. His office was finally empty and they could get started decorating the bumps bedroom.

"I'll go up and have a look," Ruth said kissing him briefly.

"Its actually bigger than I thought," Harry said. "Once that desk was out of the way." She had disappeared from sight but poked her head back around as something occurred to her.

"I'll want new carpet too," Ruth said. "It looks like you've had that for at least twenty years."  
>"Okay, but not pink," Harry said.<p>

"No, not pink," she agreed, a concession she willingly gave him. She didn't want an obsessively pink room anyway. She went upstairs to the now empty room and saw that Harry was right, it was bigger than she thought. Probably a little bigger than Jamie's room actually. She wondered if that would cause arguments when they both grew up. As she looked at it she could see some nice curtains on the window and the cot in the room. She smiled as pale creamy pink walls came into her mind.

"You really have your own room now sweetheart," she said to her stomach. "A room where you can storm up the stairs when you've had enough of your old fashioned parents or an argument with your brother, slam the door and blast your music, making us deaf in the process. And I wouldn't have it any other way, you know that." No response from her child at all. "I think its a little early to be ignoring mummy darling." She felt the child slowly turn over and smiled. "Much better."

"Mama?" Ruth turned to see Jamie looking at her worried. With difficulty she bent down and picked the boy up.

"Oh my gosh you're getting heavy," Ruth said. "Or I'm getting bigger, or probably both. Are you okay handsome?"

"Ya!"

"Good," Ruth said. "You know your sister can't wait to meet you. And I can't wait for you to meet her either. And I know you don't understand a single word of this either, but I love you darling."

"Mama down!" Jamie started kicking to be released and Ruth obliged. He looked around the room once more before running off and Ruth smiled as she heard him shuffling into his bedroom, no doubt playing with some of his teddies.

"We need some things to put in your brand new room don't we darling?"

* * *

><p>"I have a present for you," Jo said as Ruth sat down on Monday morning. "I know I shouldn't have but I went shopping over the weekend and I couldn't resist so I hope you like it." Ruth nodded and waited. Jo rummaged in her bag and handed over a tiny baby grow in white. It had a slogan over the front saying "daddy's little princess."<p>

"Aw that's so sweet!" Ruth said taking it from Jo. "I love it. You know that's the first thing that's been bought for her."

"You haven't bought anything yet?" Jo asked surprised.

"No, its on my to-do list," Ruth said. "I really should get round to it actually."

"Use your afternoon off to go shopping and dent Harry's credit card," Jo suggested.

"My wife doesn't need your incentive to spend my money," Harry said walking behind her.

"We were talking about our daughter," Ruth said turning to her husband smiling. "You begrudge me spending money on our daughter?"

"Forget I mentioned anything at all," Harry said retreating to the safety of his office. But Ruth saw his smile before he vanished from sight.

"Maybe I will go shopping," Ruth said with a smile. "We have an empty room after all, and carpet and paint being delivered too."

"He cleared his office then?"

"Yeah, finished over the weekend," Ruth said smiling. She touched the baby grow once more and decided that yes, she would go shopping. Little Miss Pearce would need some things of her own after all.

* * *

><p>Ruth had made a startling realisation. Going shopping for baby clothes while pregnant and hormonal and holding a credit card was a way to spend more than was wise or logical. She'd charged so many clothes to her card that she doubted her daughter would wear any item more than once, the amount she had purchased. She'd also made sure that a cot was being delivered as Jamie hadn't grown out of his into a single bed yet. She was just about to go and pay for the latest shops baby girl offerings when she saw a Thomas the tank engine PJ set that Jamie would look simply adorable in. Then a gorgeous blue coat that she had to have a look at. She ended up shopping for Jamie's second birthday as well for the new baby. She was carrying so much that she ended up getting it delivered.<p>

She suddenly felt starving and thought that shopping was thirsty work. She went to buy an orange juice and suddenly she felt someone walk into her. "Oh sorry," a female voice said. Ruth turned around and saw someone she hoped never to see again.

"Hello Juliet."

"Oh, Ruth," Juliet said blankly. Then she saw Ruth's pregnancy bump. "So I see things have changed since the last time I saw you."

"And I thought you were in Washington," Ruth said honestly. Why was this woman back in the UK? She'd definitely have a look at that when she got back to Thames House.

"So you got over your ridiculous crush on Harry then did you?" Ruth smiled feeling her insides freeze. She tried to keep her face happy even while her brain was working overtime. "I see your wedding ring, so you moved on?"

"I married Harry," Ruth said bluntly, knowing it would have to come out sooner rather than later. Juliet laughed a laugh which was worthy of a cackling witch and Ruth hated this woman even more.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh," she said. "Just never thought you'd actually snare him."

"We're happy Juliet, don't laugh at me," Ruth said. She felt a reassuring kick from her child and felt a little more safe.

"Sorry," she said, not sounding it at all. "Goodbye Ruth." She watched as Juliet left the shop with a hollow feeling in her stomach.


	55. Chapter 55

_Right this chapter is tying off some loose ends so I apologise if it doesn't read right. Also I didn't plan the Juliet introduction to be so brief either. That being said I hope you enjoy._

* * *

><p>Instead of using the rest of the day to see Jamie, she gave Emily a quick call and returned to the grid to talk to Harry. He was on the phone when she walked in without knocking as was usual for her. Harry looked confused at her appearance and finished the conversation relatively quickly.<p>

"That was Towers," Harry said. "Ilya Gavrik will not be leaving Russia. Everyone knows he killed his wife and both nations have agreed that he will not be leaving Russia anytime soon. It's a compromise as opposed to throwing him in prison."

"Good," Ruth said. The fact that she wasn't going to meet Ilya in the near future was a relief to her. "I bumped into Juliet while shopping."

"That's not possible," Harry said. "She's in America."

"I can assure you I did. I'd quite like to know why she's in Britain instead of hiding in the US."

"Have a look," Harry said in a deep voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, although one of these days you might actually bump into one of my exes. It would make a nice change."

"Ruth…"

"I'm fine," she said with a smile. She squeezed Harry's hand which was resting on his desk before leaving.

* * *

><p>"Any luck?" Harry asked late that night.<p>

"Yes, either her encryptions gotten worse or I've gotten better at decryption," Ruth replied, her fingers a blur over the keyboard. "Read this." A pause as Harry did what she asked.

"Oh my God, when was that sent?"

"Yesterday."

"Have you contacted the CIA?"

"No, I was waiting for you. I don't know what to do with this information," Ruth replied honestly. At that moment both of their phones beeped with an alarm. Ruth closed her eyes after she'd read it because they were too late. Harry told her what she already knew.

"A bombs gone off in Washington."

* * *

><p><strong>27 weeks.<strong>

"She's in prison," Ruth said staring at her screen. "Juliet's being deported to America as we speak."

"Good," Harry said sincerely. "But I want you to come home. You've been working late nights for two weeks and I'm really worried about you."

"She was the head of an organisation that decided to blow up a bomb in Washington," Ruth said. "The American's already hate us for the Russian partnership, I didn't think they needed any more ammunition. We will need them at some point. Its probably best they deal with her."

"I know," Harry said. "Come home. Jamie misses you. I miss you." She smiled and looked at her watch. She hadn't realised it had got so late.

"I didn't want either of us to be blamed for releasing that bomb, they knew it was British."

"I know, and I love you for how much you care," Harry said. "Deportation to America is not a fate I would ever wish for myself. Come home."

"Yes," Ruth said wrapping her coat around herself. As Harry drove her home she thought about something. "What do you think made her flip like that?"

"I'm guessing while in Washington she saw less than admirable practices going on. She's never liked America and she was liaising between the American and British services. When we signed with Russia it seems she was booted back to London. She's been planning something like this for a while."

"I'm sorry," Ruth said squeezing his arm even as he drove them home.

"It isn't your fault but I thought she was a better person than that," Harry said. "I couldn't imagine her blowing up anywhere but for her to actually do it..."

"I know," Ruth echoed. He was silent until they got home but Ruth knew he was thinking about everything, and it wasn't a reflection on her. He on the other hand appreciated her silence. She didn't feel the need to fill every gap with conversation if it wasn't necessary. He loved that about her, that she realised he was thinking about life, not ignoring or neglecting her. He heard her intake of breath and stared at her worried.

"Its okay," she said knowing he was concerned about her. "That was just a hard kick. Do all your children kick this damn hard?"

"Our daughter is kicking, that's not a bad thing," Harry said as he turned the engine off. She smiled knowing he was right. She leaned across the car and kissed him briefly.

"I love you," she said. "No matter what happens or the people I meet from your past, I'll still love you."

"I don't deserve you," Harry said. "I still don't know what you see in me."

"You're right for me," Ruth said with a smile. "You're my other half, it is that simple. Now lets go and see our boy."

"Lets," Harry agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>30 weeks.<strong>

It had taken a while for Harry to come to terms with Juliet's terrorist leanings. Now, three weeks after the fact he could wrap his head around it and life had gone back to relative normality. But Ruth had gone down to part time. After working far too hard during the Washington bomb aftermath Harry had insisted. Once as her husband, once as the father of her growing bump and thirdly as her boss who wanted her well rested. Or at least that had been his argument. She had given in with good grace because in the afternoons she got to spend some time with Jamie.

All these thoughts were running through her dreamlike mind when she got roused from sleep with a start. Concentrating hard she heard a slight noise from downstairs and knew that was what had disturbed her. She turned over and put her hand over Harry's mouth as she shook him awake.

"Mm!" Harry moaned through her hand, using all his strength to pull her away. In that moment she appreciated how strong he really was, and how gently he always held her.

"Calm down Harry," she said in a whisper as her wrist started aching from where he'd pulled her away from him. He blinked awake and came back to where he was.

"Are you okay? And the bump?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Harry… there's someone in the house."


	56. Chapter 56

"Stay here," Harry said with menace in his voice.

"No," she replied as Harry lifted the false bottom of his bedside drawer and checked the gun was loaded. "You check on Jamie while I go downstairs." Ruth said nothing but followed half a step behind him as they left the bedroom. Harry knew she wasn't going to budge so it was pointless to argue. Going down the stairs Harry tightened his grip on the gun until he went into the kitchen, Ruth anxiously behind him. She heard Harry sigh and saw him lower the weapon.

"How did you break into my house?" Harry asked.

"I guess I'm your son after all." Ruth moved aside and saw someone who looked remarkably like Sasha Gavrik. She guessed this must be Graham.

"I could have hurt you with this," Harry said putting the gun on the kitchen table.

"And risk disillusioning your new family?" Graham said. "Not likely." At this Ruth came out from behind Harry and Graham saw her noticeable bump even in the dim light. "You didn't waste any time did you?"

"Graham, if you're going to argue can you at least wait until tomorrow? There's a sleeping toddler upstairs."

"Two?" Graham asked. He turned to Ruth before the next sentence. "Blimey, well don't hold your breath, I'm sure that leaving you is next on the list."

"Nice to meet you too," Ruth said with a smile frozen on her face.

"Before you start insulting everyone, is there any reason for this late night visit?"

"I don't know why I came," Graham said turning to the door of the kitchen.

"But you're here," Harry said grasping his arm. The way he said it made it clear the importance of what he was saying. "You're welcome here anytime." Harry looked at Ruth as if she was going to object.

"Harry, you don't need my permission to invite your son into our home." She turned to Graham.

"I'm sure I'll meet you later when I'm not sleep deprived and look like the size of a particularly unglamorous house. I'll see you upstairs Harry." She reached for the gun though and both men looked at her. "Just in case things get fractious." Ruth kissed her husbands cheek and left him alone to speak to his son. Her footsteps died away and still neither man had spoken.

"So why are you visiting so late?" Harry asked in a much calmer tone.

"My flight just got back from Tehran," he said.

"So you visited your sister," Harry said, pleased for that at any rate. Graham might not be speaking to him but the fact he visited Catherine without any pushing or urging meant a lot to him.

"Yes… she seems happy."

"I think she **is** happy," Harry agreed.

"Well… you came up in conversation and Catherine said… she said you'd changed. And she said that this woman… Rose?"

"Ruth," Harry corrected feeling slightly uncomfortable at the name that represented Jamie's biological mother.

"Yes, Ruth. Catherine said she was too good for you."

"I don't argue with that one little bit," Harry said honestly.

"Anyway, I came around here before I considered what the time was and then when I was here it felt pointless to walk away so I… broke in. Sorry."

"Look, Graham, I know I have been…" Harry paused while thinking about the right wording. "Well, a shit father basically. I know that but I do hope its not too late. Despite the lateness of the hour I'm thrilled you're here."

"You weren't shit dad, you just considered your job more important than your family," Graham said accurately. "You were… absent."

"Thank you," Harry said. "You look good, all things considering."

"I have a job now," Graham said looking pleased with himself. "I'm not on drugs anymore either." Harry knew this because of the fact he kept an eye on his son without his knowledge.

"Congratulations," he said sincerely. Graham studied him, seeming to worry that his father was being sarcastic. "I mean it," he added. "What job do you have?"

"Construction," Graham said. "I'm a builder basically. I know its nothing special or intellectual. I know its not what you wanted for me either."

"I want you to be happy and healthy. No matter how old or young my children are, that's all I want," Harry replied.

"You have changed," Graham said quietly. "You'd have been horrified if I'd have told you that a decade ago."

"I want you happy," Harry repeated. "Are you living in London?"

A pause before his son answered as if weighing up the options. "Yes."

"Good," Harry said. "You could have called you know."

"So could you," Graham replied.

"You told me never to contact you again," Harry reminded him.

"I didn't mean it dad," he replied. "It would have been nice to know that you actually wanted me and that I wasn't simply an inconvenience."

"I've always wanted you," Harry said. "Even when you were in a rehab centre and screaming at everyone in sight I still wanted you as my son."

"I don't like reliving that," Graham said looking at the floor.

"Okay, I won't mention it again," he replied honestly.

"Thank you. Have you married Ruth?"

"Yes," Harry said curling his fist around his wedding ring as if in reassurance that he did indeed have the most amazing woman in the world as his wife.

"My invitation got lost did it?"

"No," Harry said. "We organised it within a matter of days so there were no invitations. But if I'm being honest I probably wouldn't have because I didn't think you'd want to come."

"If my father had asked me, of course I would have," Graham said. "I'm not as heartless as you seem to think."

"I've never thought that," Harry said. "I know we don't always get on but I would like us to try."

"Yes," Graham said. "I'd like that."

"Graham, there's something I want to ask you. Why weren't you at Catherine's wedding?"

"I was in prison for a few months," Graham said. His father looked so disappointed. "Petty burglary, that's all. It got me going down the straight path actually. I was determined to kick my drug habit after that. It was a shock to the system which I needed."

"Which you did? Kick the habit I mean?"

"Which I did." An awkward pause in the conversation while both men tried to think of something to say. "You said you have a toddler upstairs?"

"Jamie," Harry said, a smile colouring his face. "He's got such energy. He reminds me of you in a way, when you were that age."

"She wasn't being horrible but Catherine told me that Ruth… isn't his mother."

"No," Harry replied. "Ruth treats him like her own child though."

"No woman could do that," Graham said with a smile.

"I'd agree with you before she spent nearly two years with Jamie," Harry said. "If you want to you can meet them both properly. At a more sociable hour."

"Dad, I'm not expecting you to wake a toddler up," Graham said with a smile. "Is it okay if I come around this weekend. Its fine if I can't, you can forget it if you're busy. I expect Ruth won't want another one of your children around, so you can just forget I mentioned anything."

While Graham was speaking Harry realised what he wanted from him. All Graham wanted was acceptance. How had it taken thirty years to realise it when it was all so simple? "You are welcome whenever you want to come around," Harry said. "Ruth would say that as well, I know she would. And if you distract Jamie for ten minutes, it'll be well worth it."

"He's that much of a handful is he?" Graham asked with half a smile.

"No he's not that bad but Ruth's getting too pregnant to lift him up easily and she's getting exhausted rather quickly too."

"Okay," Graham said. "Well, I'll come around on Saturday then. That's okay?"

"We'll be looking forward to it," Harry said sincerely. Graham looked awkwardly around the kitchen before nodding goodbye. Harry saw him out and then set the alarm which they'd stupidly forgot to do. As spooks both of them knew better than that. He returned upstairs to Ruth, knowing she'd be wanting to talk about the conversation he'd just had with his eldest son.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry Mtn Cousin, I just can't bring myself to ruin their happiness, even breifly. Well guessed the oofoof too! I am getting this posted as soon as its written so I hope you enjoyed even though it was pretty much Ruth-less.<em>


	57. Chapter 57

_Tiny chapter but this story has taken on a life of its own!_

* * *

><p>"How did it go?" Harry hadn't even made it through the bedroom door before she'd spoken.<p>

"How's Jamie?"

"Oh fast asleep, he didn't notice a thing," Ruth said quickly as Harry slipped into bed next to her.

"So what did Graham say? I didn't hear anything breaking so I'm assuming its more on the positive side."

"He wanted to see me," Harry said honestly. "I think he just wants to be accepted."

"Of course he does, you're his father."

"Ruth, he told me not to contact him."

"And you listened? God you are an idiot," Ruth said.

"He's coming over to meet you and Jamie on Saturday."

"Good, I'd like to meet him properly." Ruth snuggled up to him as best she could. "What do you want for your birthday by the way? Its coming up."

"You."

"If memory serves you've already had me every which way," Ruth said with a teasing lilt to her voice.

"Not recently," Harry said. It was true.

"You don't want to have sex with someone as fat as me," Ruth said. She used this argument whenever issues of intimacy came up between them.

"Firstly you are not fat, you're pregnant," Harry said looking deep into her eyes. "Secondly, do you think your body has ever been the main reason I want to sleep with you?" Then he realised how that sounded and backtracked quickly. "Not that I don't think you're beautiful and breathtaking because I do. You're gorgeous always. What I meant was…"

"Harry, stop," she said as her hand covered his mouth for the second time that evening. "I know what you meant. Thank you." Harry removed her hand and looked at her wrist which was glowing red where he had grabbed it earlier.

"That's going to bruise," he said quietly.

"I know."

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Harry, you didn't do it on purpose, I know that." Ruth took her hand back. "It was probably stupid for me to wake you like that anyway. I should have thought about how you'd react."

"Well, I'm sorry anyway," he said sincerely. Ruth fidgeted around until his arms were draping over her stomach. He was being very gentle with her, she could tell. Ruth was about to break the silence when Harry felt their daughter kicking hard. They both smiled and settled into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>Ruth woke up with fear pressing down on her as if her brain had been working on something full time without her being aware of it. "Oh God," she whispered to herself.<p>

"What is it?" Harry whispered, always alert to her distress because of the baby. He didn't want anything to worry her.

"I've been thinking."

"I'd expect nothing less," Harry replied with a small smile as he woke up properly. "Anything in particular?"

"Graham," she started. "He looked exactly like Sasha Gavrik."

"I knew this was coming up," Harry said to himself. "It's a coincidence. I promise you that Sasha is not my son. I told you before and I won't lie to you. I could never lie to you."

"Are you sure?" Ruth asked. "Elena could have lied to you. You could be mistaken..."

"Stop it," Harry said firmly. He leaned over her body and kissed her slowly. "Sasha is not my son. I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it until you believe me."

"But Graham looks so much like him," Ruth whispered.

"It's a coincidence, I promise you."

"Okay." Ruth kissed him and then got rather distracted by the sound of little padding feet. Pulling away reluctantly she saw Jamie with his thumb in his mouth. "Are you alright little man?"

"Food?"

"Right then, lets get breakfast." Ruth got up and threw her dressing gown around her body as Harry watched her intensely, his eyes glowing. Ruth could tell what he was thinking along the x rated line and ignored him as she bent down to pick Jamie up with difficulty owing to her size. He could tell she still wasn't reassured by the way she held herself.

"Ruth…"

"I don't want to talk about it in front of Jamie," she said before leaving the room. Harry sighed and wondered how he would be able to prove it to her.

* * *

><p>"There you go," Ruth said giving Jamie the last spoonful of his breakfast. "That nice?"<p>

"Ya!"

"Good," Ruth said. Harry came downstairs, now fully dressed. Ruth was standing by the kitchen window and he walked up behind her.

"Believe me," he whispered into her ear, his breath washing over her wonderfully. "But if you don't trust me go to the grid database and check. I'm sure that Sasha's DNA will be on their and I know mine is. If you don't believe me then check." Ruth closed her eyes as she felt Harry leave her and heard him pick up Jamie. She now had a choice to make. She could double check but that would be telling Harry that she didn't trust him or believe him. On the other hand she could live in doubt, without ever truly knowing. What was she going to do?


	58. Chapter 58

That day on the grid was filled with tension. The kind of tension that existed before Harry and Ruth had got together. Jo knew instantly something was wrong but everyone else was looking anxiously between the two of them waiting for the bomb to drop. Harry was looking through the glass at Ruth and she felt the weight of his gaze on her frequently. When lunch came Ruth switched her computer off and opened Harry's door.

"I'm going home."

"Will you talk to me?" Harry asked standing up.

"I'm not mad," Ruth said. "I just need to spend some time alone, that's all."

"Please…" He had no idea how he was going to end that sentence but it felt necessary. Ruth had a small smile and kissed her husband briefly.

"I'm going home," Ruth said. "I'll see you later." Harry nodded, understanding and let her go. He saw her walk out of the pods and once she'd gone he dropped the blinds. He didn't want to be disturbed by anyone at all. And no one seemed inclined to break his solitude all day either, much to his relief.

* * *

><p>Harry opened his front door warily that evening. He wanted Ruth to be there, so desperately that he was almost afraid to look because if she wasn't here… His fears were unfounded. "Go say hello to daddy," he heard in her wonderfully familiar voice from the living room. Harry bent down as Jamie emerged waving his hand in the air at Harry.<p>

"Hello my gorgeous boy!" Harry said lifting him up and whirling him up in the air, making him giggle in a noise that he'd never get tired of. "Where's your mummy?"

"Dada!"

"Nice to know I'm wanted isn't it?" Harry said carrying the boy into the living room. He was relieved to see Ruth lying on the sofa smiling. She had about six teddies thrown on her legs because apparently Jamie had found a new game. Throwing teddies as Harry realised when one hit his thigh and Jamie giggled again. This was clearly the height of entertainment for a toddler.

"Hello," he said to his wife, leaning over her and kissing her slowly. She was responding to his touch eagerly which he took as a good sign. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she replied honestly. "I'll talk more when the little one is asleep." Harry nodded but was pleased with the fact she seemed more at peace.

"Come on then you little tyke," Harry said to his son. "Leave your mummy to rest and come and play with me." Ruth smiled in gratitude and closed her eyes. Being pregnant was exhausting.

* * *

><p>"Mm?" Ruth said as Harry gently shook her awake.<p>

"You really drifted off there," he said with a smile. He lifted her feet up and sat on the end of the sofa gently massaging her feet. "Are we… okay?"

"Yes," Ruth said with a smile. "I didn't check. I didn't look it up. Because I know how much it would hurt you if you thought I didn't trust you. And I do trust you Harry. If you accused me of lying I'd be so hurt. So I'm sorry I said it this morning. You've already assured me Sasha isn't yours, I shouldn't have felt the need to ask again."

"You've been thinking about what to say all afternoon haven't you?" Harry said with a smile.

"Yes," she said with a smile. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," Harry said. "I understand you need reassurance. I don't blame you. I'm actually rather amazed by you." Ruth smiled feeling much happier with the whole situation. They were silent as Harry continued touching her feet very sensually. She pressed her feet closer to him and he smiled, knowing she was enjoying it. He moved his fingers over her ankles and started soothing her calf's lightly. As her eyes flickered shut she was reminded what else his talented hands could do. She made a snap decision.

"Take me to bed Harry."

"What I said this morning… If you don't want to while your pregnant its fine, honestly."

"What do I have to do or say to convince you that I want you?" Ruth asked. At the same moment she curled her toes suggestively into his lap.

"I love your pregnancy hormones at this particular moment in time," Harry said, breathing deeply as her toes kept teasing him.

"Shall we go upstairs then?" Harry knew better than to argue with his wife. Especially when she had **that** look on her face.

* * *

><p>"No, Jamie come here," Ruth said as he ran off, being completely ignored. She shook her head knowing it was a pointless exercise, just as the doorbell rang. "Harry, your sons here!" Ruth opened the door with a smile as Graham stood there looking nervous.<p>

"Hello." It was clear he was anxious.

"Hi, come on in," Ruth said quickly. It was cold outside and she didn't want to let the cool air into the house. He came inside and looked around anxiously. "Go into the kitchen, Harry'll be down soon. Jamie!" Ruth called. Soon he came into the kitchen with his thumb in his mouth, looking like butter wouldn't melt. "Come here little man." Ruth picked him up and brought him up to Graham's level. "This is your big brother. Graham, say hello." Jamie looked at the stranger for a full minute before snuggling into Ruth's shirt, suddenly overcome with shyness.

"Aw, well I am very scary," Graham said ruffling his hair in exactly the same way Harry did. Ruth smiled at them and kept her grip on the boy as Graham sat down. At that moment Harry came in.

"Hello," he said to his eldest son.

"Hi dad." Graham said, a tight smile on his face. Harry smiled back and looked at the bag that he was holding onto tightly that Ruth hadn't noticed.

"What've you got there?"

"Well, I thought I'd bring Jamie something," Graham started. "But I've never bought anything for a kid before. So I thought I couldn't go wrong with a teddy." Graham pulled out a brown teddy bear with a blue bow and Ruth was touched by the thought.

"Jamie, look at what your big brother Graham bought for you," Ruth said. He turned his head slowly, curiosity getting the better of him. He looked at the teddy and started kicking in Ruth's arms.

"Mama down!" Ruth put him down on the floor and he ran over to Graham and tried to grab the teddy from him. Graham wasn't letting go and he looked up, all sweetness and innocence.

"Mine?"

"Yes, yours," Graham said with a smile, giving the teddy over to the child.

"Say thank you Jamie," Harry said as he started to run off into the living room.

"Fans," Jamie said before vanishing.

"That's his version of thank you, trust me," Ruth said with a smile. "Would you like a tea or coffee?"

"Coffee thanks," Graham said as silence descended, only broken by Jamie babbling in the next room.

"How are you?" Harry asked.

"Can't complain," Graham said. "How long until the little one's born?" he added looking at Ruth's pregnancy bump.

"I've got a couple of months to go yet," Ruth said.

"Can I ask… girl or boy?"

"It's a little girl," Harry said before Ruth could respond.

"Congratulations," he said sincerely. The silence wasn't oppressive but it wasn't exactly comfortable as Ruth put three mugs on the kitchen table. Graham looked at Ruth's with a confused look.

"What are you drinking?"

"Decaf tea why?" she asked.

"It looks…"

"Disgusting? Yeah that's about right," Ruth said. "I compensate by adding half a bag of sugar." Both men smiled at her, Harry because he loved her for welcoming him, Graham for appreciating her friendliness. He had wondered if he'd be hated because he was Harry's child before she came along. Her smile showed that wasn't the case. All three of them turned around when padding feet announced Jamie's arrival again. The new teddy was trailing from his hand on the floor.

"Dada play?"

"What about daddy and Graham?" Ruth suggested to the little boy.

"Gra?"

"Yeah?" Ruth said. Jamie toddled around the table and grabbed Harry's hand, trying to pull him in the direction of the living room. Harry could guess that he wanted his wooden train set because that was daddy's job. Everything else he played with mummy too, but daddy was the train set.

"Can I come?" Graham asked crouching to the boys level. Jamie seemed to be considering and then nodded and kept pulling at Harry's hand. Harry smiled at Graham, feeling relief that he was at least trying with Jamie. Ruth waited until all the boys had gone and sighed with relief. This could have gone so much worse.

* * *

><p><em>I do hope this is okay for everyone. More soon.<em>


	59. Chapter 59

Ruth went into the living room a couple of hours later with fresh cups of tea for the three adults. She refrained from laughing with difficulty. Graham was sitting on the floor with broken pieces of train track laying all over his legs as Harry gave Jamie a train and he followed it around the room eagerly, bouncing all the time he was doing it. Ruth handed Harry his drink and then Graham's before sitting down on the sofa.

"Do you want to stand up to get rid of the train track?"

"Apparently I'm the station," Graham said, clearly not finding it funny.

"You should be pleased you've made such an impression on Jamie," Harry said. "He doesn't play with just anyone."

"Really?" Graham asked, and Ruth could tell that that meant a lot to him.

"He's fussy," Ruth said, agreeing with her husband. Graham stayed still as Jamie ran a train over bits of track and then dropped the train, giggling like a fiend. Graham brushed the train track off his legs and stood up.

"How long have you been there?" Ruth asked as he stretched uncomfortably.

"About forty minutes," Graham said.

"Oh Harry, you should have let him move," Ruth criticised. "Or let Jamie build the track on you."

"Er- Graham volunteered," Harry said.

"I wanted…" Graham shook his head as if forgetting it. "Anyway I really have to go now. I stayed a lot longer than I thought I would." The unspoken implication was apparent.

"I didn't want to like my stepmother you know," he said to Ruth.

"I hope there's a but somewhere there."

"The "but" is that my sister was right, and I hate it when she is," Graham said with half a smile.

"Good," Ruth said with a smile. "You are welcome anytime, for anything."

"Thank you," Graham said. He nodded before leaving and Ruth felt fully able to breathe once the door closed.

"I think it was better having him meet Jamie," Harry said as the little boy started playing with broken bits of the track. "It stopped the conversation coming to a grinding halt."

"I'm glad that he was here today," Ruth said honestly. "I think it meant a lot to both of you."

"Thanks for being you," Harry said. "You couldn't have made him more welcome."

"That's my job as his step mother. What were you expecting? Me to kick him out on principle?"

"Of course not because you're you," Harry said. "And I love you."

"Dada!"

"And I love you too," Harry said as Jamie smiled. Harry felt so lucky with his wonderful family.

* * *

><p><strong>32 weeks.<strong>

Ruth stood in a bookshop browsing titles. The intention was to buy a cricket book for Harry's birthday (for lack of better ideas). But to get to them she had to bypass all the novels and there were some very interesting new titles. After about an hour she felt her daughter kick harder than ever before. "Alright little one. Lets go and have a look for a boring cricket book for daddy, does that sound okay?" Another smaller kick this time. In another twenty minutes she'd found a couple of books that would do and went to the counter to pay for them. That was when she felt it. A really sharp pain throughout her stomach.

"Oh my God." She closed her eyes as she felt the pain get stronger and then fade a little. Then another surge of pain.

"Are you alright?" the cashier asked with a concerned look on her face.

"I think I need an ambulance," Ruth said in a whisper.

* * *

><p>Harry looked at the clock and knew that really, it was too early for a whisky, no matter how much Towers tried to wind him up. His office phone rang and he thought if that was Towers again he could go straight to hell.<p>

"Yes?" he said in a sharp tone picking it up.

"Harry? Its Emily."

"Is everything okay with Jamie?" he asked instantly.

"Yes he's fine," Emily assured him. Sure enough Harry could hear him babbling loudly in the background. "I need you to stay calm."

"Why would I need to stay calm?" Harry asked, feeling fear flood him.

"Ruth's been taken to hospital. She is fine and so is the baby, so stay calm."

"Which hospital?" Harry asked immediately.

"St Josephs."

"Thank you." Harry hung up the phone and left the grid faster than anyone thought possible.

* * *

><p><em>I know this is a small chapter but I am working on posting as soon as possible. More asap.<em>


	60. Chapter 60

_Sorry for any medical inaccuracies! Hope this keeps you interested._

* * *

><p>"Ruth Pearce?" Harry asked the receptionist.<p>

"Let me see," she said painfully slowly. "Right, she's in room 24, just through the corridor there, its not hard to find."

"Thank you," Harry said, quickly following her directions. He opened the door and a female doctor looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Who the hell are you?" she said less than diplomatically.

"I'm guessing its my frantic husband," Ruth's voice said from behind the curtain. He was so relieved to hear her that he sidestepped the doctor and went behind the curtain, seeing her smiling and her stomach bare, as she had clearly just been examined.

"Don't scare me like that," Harry said kissing her hair. "I never want to get a call like that."

"I tried to call you but I couldn't remember the security code to get through to your office."

"You couldn't remember?" he asked with a teasing tone to his voice. "Well, you seem to be human after all."

"I was in pain, I just couldn't remember."

"How is spud?"

"Absolutely fine," Ruth replied, reassuring him. "As soon as I was in the ambulance the pain started to fade, but I wanted to get checked out anyway. I think I panicked. Sorry."

"She was suffering from intense Braxton Hicks contractions," the doctor said, interrupting the conversation between the two of them. "You can feel them but they aren't usually painful. They're contractions which prepare the body for labour, but there's nothing to worry about. We've checked her out just in case but she's fine."

"Good," Harry said kissing her hair. "You're sure the baby is fine?"

"Yes, nothing wrong," the doctor said with a smile. "I'd just finished examining her when you came in." Her pager went off at that moment. "I have to go so I'll leave you to it."

"Thank you," Ruth called. She covered her stomach up as Harry watched her intensely.

"I want you to take your maternity leave early," he said in a voice which was hard to argue with.

"I knew you were going to say that," Ruth said in a low voice.

"Please, I'll worry less over you if you're safe at home."

"Give me a week," Ruth said. "I'm only doing mornings anyway, just give me a week to tie everything off, then I won't argue with you. I promise."

"A week sounds fair," Harry said. He didn't like it but he knew enough to know that if he argued with her she'd be working up until her due date. And he really wanted her at home. "If you're determined to be active, you can get the nursery up and running."

"That's a good idea," she said putting her coat back on. The room was completely bare, except with a lot of baby stuff in boxes. "We need somewhere for her don't we?"

"Yes," Harry said an arm around her as he lead her out of the hospital and to his car. "We haven't discussed names yet either."

"You won't like my suggestions," Ruth said with a smile. "That's why we haven't."

"Give me an example?" Harry said as she got in the car.

"Persephone?"

"Persephone Pearce? Do you want our daughter to be bullied at school?"

"I knew it was a long shot. Persephone was a Greek goddess who's return to Earth signified the arrival of Spring."

"No," Harry said firmly.

"Give me one of your suggestions then?"

Harry sighed as he continued driving her home. "I like Lucy." The silence from Ruth was unnerving.

"I thought you'd come up with a name I'd hate," Ruth said. "But Lucy's not bad actually."

"Success," Harry said with his eyes twinkling at her.

"I didn't say that was the name of our daughter, I said I liked it," Ruth reiterated.

"Hmm," Harry said his lips twitching. Ruth smiled at her husband, glad that all was well.

* * *

><p><strong>35 weeks.<strong>

"Hi Graham, listen I need some help," Ruth said quickly into the phone. "No, no I'm fine. Harry's at work all day and he's got a meeting which I think will overrun tonight. I can't paint the walls by myself and look after Jamie at the same time, so I'd really appreciate some help if its not too much trouble?"

* * *

><p>Graham knocked on the door feeling quite special that Ruth had asked him over. He couldn't turn her down even if he had been busy this evening, which he wasn't. "Its open!" came a shout which he recognised as belonging to his stepmother. He opened the door warily and was met by Jamie smiling at him.<p>

"Gar?"

"Hello little man. Where's Ruth?" Graham asked him.

"Up!"

"Upstairs is she?"

"Gar up!" Jamie was holding his arms outstretched and Graham got the point quickly. He lifted Jamie up and headed upstairs.

"Hello?"

"In here," Ruth called. Graham opened the door carefully and saw a room half painted a light tasteful shade of pink. It had a white ring around the top where Ruth couldn't reach to paint.

"I see the problem," Graham said looking at the room.

"Harry will kill me if I use a stepladder when I'm this pregnant and I'm not exactly eager to try it myself either. I'm trying to surprise him with a finished room. So I'm really grateful you came when I called desperately."

"I'm glad you called," Graham said. "Its nice to be wanted," he admitted.

"Down!" Jamie said kicking Graham in the stomach.

"Wow you're strong," he said as he lowered the boy who ran into his own bedroom.

"Yeah, don't I know it," Ruth said. "Can you help me?" Graham looked at the white spaces with a smile.

"You have another paintbrush?"

* * *

><p><em>I know where this is vaguely heading and thanks to everyone who's sticking with it! :)<em>


	61. Chapter 61

"Done," Graham said, dropping the brush into a tub of water.

"Thank God for that," Ruth said sitting on the floor. Jamie had been put to bed about half an hour ago. "Thank you for your help."

"No problem," he said. "Its not any of my business but you're due in five weeks. Haven't you left this a little late?"

"Yes," Ruth said bluntly. "This was Harry's study but I used the feminine touch to persuade him to clear it out."

"I bet he wasn't happy with that."

"He gave in with good grace actually," Ruth said. "I think he didn't want to set me off on a hormonal mood swing." Graham smiled slightly.

"So what next?"

"What do you mean? You've done what I asked and I'm grateful."

"Its an empty room Ruth, I'm sure there's more I could do to help get ready for…"

"Oh!" Ruth closed her eyes as her little girl kicked her ribs hard.

"Are you alright? Should I call dad?" Graham asked concerned.

"No, its fine, she's just kicking really hard," Ruth said.

Graham looked at her and asked a question. "Can I?"

"She's your sister, of course you can," Ruth said as Graham put a hand on her pregnancy bump. It took a few seconds but then he felt a powerful kick.

"I never thought babies kicked that hard," Graham said.

"She's been getting stronger," Ruth said smiling. "That was a big one though."

"You've made a difference to dad you know," Graham said as the silence filled the room. "He's a different man. He's a better man now you're with him." Ruth chewed her lip and debated how much to say.

"I had to leave the country for a few years. I was being set up for murder," Ruth explained. "Completely untrue before you ask, but I had to leave to avoid prison. I loved him when I left, and I hated going without him. So we had quite a few miles between us for three years. I think we appreciate our time together more because it was broken years ago. But I didn't change him. I didn't have to say a word and he knew how much he'd let his children down. He'll never forgive himself for that, I know that. It helps that Catherine is so happy and that you've got yourself straightened out but the guilt will never leave him."

"What do you see in him?"

"He asked me that," Ruth said with a smile. "I love him. I'm not saying he's perfect because he isn't. He's short tempered, stubborn and convinced he's always right, no matter how I contradict him. He can be overbearing and overprotective. But I love him. He cares, and it isn't like some men who just say they care and don't. He loves me. He's proud of all his children whether its Catherine's marriage, you getting a job or something as simple as Jamie waving. He's fiercely proud of all of you. I know you feel like he hasn't been there and I hope it doesn't bother you but before you got back in contact with him, he did keep an eye on you."

"Did he really?" Graham asked surprised.

"Of course he did, he wants to know you're safe." Ruth said. "He probably keeps tabs on Catherine without telling me too. I love him. My life would probably have been easier if I didn't. If I hadn't fallen for a man fifteen years older than myself, who already had three children, if I hadn't fallen for my boss it would have made my life a lot easier. But I did and I love him and I trust him more than anyone. I know he'll always tell me the truth, no matter how much it hurts. He's lived with lies for too long to do otherwise."

"You have faith in him don't you?" Graham said slowly.

"Yes, I suppose I do," Ruth said. "You can go, I really appreciate your help. Now that I've ruined your evening."

"I could give you a hand with the cot? I don't want to overstay my welcome, but if you need help…?" Ruth could sense the hesitancy in this request and smiled.

"If you want to?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>"That was more backbreaking than I'd anticipated," Graham said sitting on the floor breathing heavily.<p>

"Well, that was going to be Harry's job," Ruth admitted. She heard the front door close. "Speak of the devil." Ruth got up heavily and went downstairs slowly.

"You know you left the front door unlocked," Harry said concerned.

"Harry it takes me half an hour to waddle down the stairs," she said. At this point he saw Graham.

"Oh, hi," Harry said blankly. "Not that you aren't welcome but why are you here?"

"Helping a damsel in distress," Ruth explained. "Quite the gentleman actually."

"Well thanks," Harry said, still oblivious to the help he'd given Ruth. "Do you want a drink?"

"No thanks dad, I have to go," Graham said. Ruth could tell that both men weren't totally at ease around each other yet.

"Thank you," Ruth said throwing her arms around him, which surprised the younger man, but he hugged his (rather large) stepmother back.

"You're welcome." Graham smiled at Harry before he left. Harry locked the door behind him and looked at her with a curious look on his face.  
>"He was helping me with the little one's bedroom," Ruth explained.<p>

"We have painted walls?"

"Yes we do," Ruth said with a smile. "But I need food. You can go and have a look but I need chocolate cake."

"Good, I want our daughter nice and chubby when she comes out."

Ruth raised her eyebrows at that. "Easy for you to say, you're not the one who's going to be pushing her out!" Harry mollified her by giving her a slow kiss. By the time they broke apart she'd forgotten all about chocolate cake.

Harry grabbed her hand and led her upstairs slowly. "What do you think?" Ruth asked anxiously.

"Its a pink I can live with," Harry said. It was indeed a very light shade and he knew that she'd thought of him when she picked it. "Its great."

"Glad you like it." Ruth said.

"I see one... not problem exactly but I don't think you planned it this way."

"What are you talking about?" Ruth asked confused. Harry leant down on the floor and pointed out a spot at Jamie height. He'd left a hand print in the wall.

"How did he manage that?" Ruth asked. "I gave him sheets of paper to finger paint on, and I was watching him!"

"Don't paint over it," Harry said. "Leave it."

"Alright then," Ruth agreed. It was sort of nice that Jamie had left his mark on his sisters room she thought. And then Harry kissed her and all thought stopped.


	62. Chapter 62

**40 weeks**

Ruth woke up at six in the morning panicking. Today was her due date. She was going to have her baby today, theoretically at any rate. She didn't know if it was mental but over the past week or so she'd felt the baby move lower down in her body, as if preparing for the birth. Then she wondered if she was going crazy.

"Stop worrying," Harry murmured, still half asleep. Ruth felt amazed at how aware to her disturbances he was. "She'll come when she's good and ready."

"I know, its just I'm good and ready now," Ruth said exasperated.

"Calm down," Harry said. "And come here." Ruth allowed her back to be scooped against his chest and managed to feel a little more at peace. "I'll take the day off if you want."

"What and wait for me to pop? You'd be much more use at work and much less annoying away from me."

"Spoken like a true and loving wife," Harry said sarcastically. Ruth smiled and rested against him until he had to get up and go to work.

* * *

><p>Later that day Harry unlocked the door to find Ruth pacing up and down. "Then no baby yet?"<p>

"Don't be cute, don't you dare be cute, I am not in the mood for any of your normally sweet comments," she said with a glare.

"How's Jamie?" Harry asked, changing the subject tactfully. Ruth smiled a tight smile at him gratefully.

"Jamie's good. Graham's teddy has been dragged all over the house, he won't let it go."

"I'll cook tonight," Harry suggested quietly.

"Can we just order Chinese?" Ruth asked.

"We can do anything you want."

* * *

><p><strong>40 weeks and 6 days.<strong>

Harry woke up to an empty bed. It was cold too so Ruth hadn't been next to him for a while. "Ruth?"

"In the bathroom," he heard her call. He decided he'd give her a few minutes. Eventually he got up and knocked on the door. "Yes you can come in. I won't kill you."

"I'm not so sure about that," Harry said but the tone he used was gentle and soothing. She looked at her stomach and he saw that she had tears in her eyes.

"When is she going to be born?" Ruth asked desperately.

"When she's good and ready," Harry replied, completely unhelpfully.

"Harry, I'm telling you if I don't have this baby today I am never going to sleep with you again." Harry fought his instinctive reaction to argue the point. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and rested his hands on her bump as he lightly kissed her neck sensually.

"You don't mean that," he whispered over her skin.

"Well, no alright I don't, but I am so tired of being pregnant."

"I know," he said. "Get Jamie's baby pictures out," he suggested. "You'll be reminded of how gorgeous your newborn will look like. The first time you see her eyes look at you, the soft skin of her cheek, the first time she curls her fingers around yours."

"I'm already an emotional wreck," she said sniffing slightly. I don't need you pushing me over the edge."

"I know darling," he said. She turned in his arms and kissed him slowly.

"Thank you for putting up with your fat hormonal wife," she said in between kisses. He didn't have a chance to reply before she kissed him again. And again.

"Oh God!" Ruth drew away from him with wide eyes as she'd felt something shift within her. She looked down at the bathroom floor and then stated the obvious. "My waters have just broken."

"Shall I call Emily to take care of Jamie this morning?" Harry asked with apparent calmness.

"I think that would be a very good idea," Ruth said as her hands gripped her stomach. She smiled slightly. "God this is really happening."

"You're about to become a mother," Harry said with a smile.

"I'm already a mother," she said with a smile.

"I love you," he whispered before she gasped with pain again. "Right, lets get you to hospital."

* * *

><p>"Why is this taking so long!" Ruth growled in frustration. She'd been in hospital for eight hours and still no baby in sight. Rose had a very quick delivery and mentally she was cursing the unfairness of it all. Harry wasn't faring much better because he hated seeing her in pain. It was horrible to watch.<p>

"I want you to leave," Ruth breathed heavily. "Call and talk to Emily and Jamie. Make sure that he's okay."

"Are you sure you want me to leave?"

"Yeah, call Jamie. He'd like to hear from you. Ah!" Harry kissed her head before leaving the room to make the phone call she'd asked him to. He took a moment to sit down and breathe. This was absolutely horrible to watch. She was clearly in pain and refusing pain medication too which wasn't the best. He'd never actually seen a woman in labour before. He'd been on an undercover op when Graham was born an Jane hadn't wanted him at Catherine's birth. Because Jamie was so quick he'd missed that too. He was at the point where he'd forgo seeing his child born if it meant a quick delivery for Ruth. And she'd been at it for hours.

"Hello?"

"Hi Emily, Its Harry," he said quickly.

"Any joy?"

"No, not yet," Harry said. "I was just checking in to see if everything was alright at home."

"Yes, its all fine. Jamie's here completely destroying the train track I spent an hour building for him."

"That's my boy," Harry said with a smile. "Can you put him on the phone?" Harry waited until he heard some random gurgling. "Hello Jamie. You alright?"

"Dada!"

"Yes, your mum and I will be home soon but I wanted to make sure you were okay?"

"Where mama?"

"Looking after your little sister," Harry said. "We'll be home soon."

"Na dada."

"Goodnight Jamie." Harry said hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath before going back into Ruth's hospital room. Seeing her in pain was not something he ever wanted.

* * *

><p>"Come on Ruth, push!" he said, gripping her hand tightly.<p>

"I'm doing my best so you can shut the hell up!" she breathed heavily. Harry thought it wise to keep his mouth firmly shut as Ruth was in an awful lot of pain.

"Right okay," the midwife said. "The heads out, but we need you to keep pushing."

"You can all just shut up!" But she kept pushing and eventually was rewarded by hearing a crying baby and feeling an absence of pain. She collapsed on the bed, completely exhausted and closed her eyes. Harry watched as the midwife handed him his brand new daughter. He was surprised by the fact that this new addition had quite a lot of dark hair. He rocked her gently back and forth.

"She's beautiful," Harry said honestly as her cries calmed down.

"Where is she?" Ruth asked tiredly as her eyes opened.

"Right here," Harry said handing her the baby carefully. She gently held the little bundle with a smile on her face.

"She is gorgeous," Ruth said as her eyes were hypnotised by their daughter. The baby opened her eyes and was looking at Harry while being cradled by Ruth. They were perfect bright blue little eyes. Harry leaned over his wife and kissed Ruth's hair softly.

"Now the subject we're never going to agree on, we need a name for her," Harry said quietly.

"I've been thinking," Ruth said, her eyes glued to the new addition to her wonderful family. "What about Fiona Lucy Pearce?"

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat with difficulty. "Fiona was…"

"Your mothers name, yes I know," Ruth said. She tore her eyes away from the newborn to look at her husband. "It was just a thought. If you don't like it we can pick something else."

"I think its perfect," Harry said.

* * *

><p><em>I think this story really is coming to an end now. There's at least three or four more chapters to come (possibly more) but the end is in sight. Glad people are still enjoying this.<em>


	63. Chapter 63

The next morning Ruth was still asleep. Harry looked in the cot and picked up the now awake baby. "Hi my gorgeous girl," he said rocking the baby gently. "I think you might be going home today. Your mummy needs to be checked out but if everything's okay, you'll be in your pink bedroom tonight." He looked at her and thought she was gearing up for a cry. "Please don't wake your mum up. She's had a hard day."

"No, give her here," Ruth said breathing heavily. Her eyes opened blearily and she smiled at Harry cradling the tiny baby. As Fiona was being passed over she started crying. "Oh what's wrong little girl?" The screaming got really loud and Ruth could guess the problem. "You're hungry aren't you?" Without any embarrassment at all she unbuttoned the hospital gown and started to feed the baby. "Oh my God, that feels strange," she said as the baby started feeding on her breast.

"Do you want some privacy?"

"Harry, you've seen it all before," she said with a smile.

"I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful," he said.

"You have low expectations," Ruth said. "I'm fat, I'm exhausted and sleep deprived and my hair hasn't seen a brush in twenty four hours."

"You're feeding our daughter. You've never looked more beautiful."

"I seem to remember you telling me that when I was pregnant."

"Yeah well I guess the fact is I always find you gorgeous."

He smiled at her. They stayed silent until the baby had finished. Ruth handed Fiona back to her father and covered herself up just before a light knock on the door. It opened and Harry smiled as Graham's head popped around the doorframe.

"Can I come in?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah sure," Ruth said as Harry kept staring at his daughter.

"Mama!" Ruth smiled as Jamie ran to her and jumped up on the bed.

"Hi my favourite boy," she said giving him a cuddle. He squirmed just as much as usual. Graham walked over to his father with a smile.

"How is she?"

"Perfect," Harry said. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I?" he asked nervously. Harry nodded and carefully handed the baby over. Graham looked terrified. "Has she got a name yet?"

"Yes," Ruth said as her arms were draped around Jamie. "Fiona Lucy Pearce."

"That was grans name," Graham said with a smile.

"I know," Harry replied. Graham kept looking at his little sister with soft eyes so Harry picked Jamie up and twirled him around in his arms. "Hello mischief. You been a good boy for Graham and Emily?"

"Ya!"

"Good," Harry said with a smile. He carried him over to Graham so Jamie could see the baby. "Jamie, this is your new sister, Fiona." Jamie looked from his father, to his big brother to the slightly wriggling bundle in his arms. He seemed to realise the bundle was alive rather than an inanimate object. Fiona opened her eyes as Jamie stared in surprise.

"Yuk!" Everyone laughed as Jamie wriggled to get down to the floor.

"Fourteen hours of labour, six days overdue and giving birth to an eight pound four ounce baby and all I get is yuk," Ruth said shaking her head, but she was smiling.

"She's beautiful," Graham said. "I know everyone says that about babies even when they aren't but she really is." Harry smiled at his eldest child.

"Harry, you've got a camera?" Ruth asked.

"No, its at home," he said with regret.

"Dad, you didn't bring a camera?" Graham asked shocked.

"He's allergic to them," Ruth said. "For the first month of Jamie's life he didn't have a camera."

"You're useless!" Graham said. Harry looked at his son but realised this was friendly banter, not a genuine criticism.

"Mama up!" Jamie said looking at Ruth. She braced herself and lifted the heavy boy up onto the bed with difficulty.

"God you're getting heavy," she said as he sat next to her. "Mum, dad and Fiona will all be home later today. I promise." she added with a wink.

"love you." Ruth's jaw fell open because Jamie had never said that before.

"Oh I love you too," Ruth said blinking away her tears as Harry was doing the same. Ruth looked around the room and wondered how many people were lucky enough to have this many people and this much love in their lives.

* * *

><p><strong>Several years later.<strong>

"We need to tell him," Ruth said in the kitchen one evening.

"I know," Harry said, quietly looking in the direction of the living room where cartoons could be heard.

"He knows I'm not his mother, even if no one says it," Ruth accurately said. "He's heard me called step mother too often, even if he doesn't understand what that means."

"I feel like I'm going to break him," Harry said. "I don't want to hurt him."

"Children are more resilient than adults," she replied. "I… I'll do it, if you want me to?"

"I can't ask you to do that!" Harry said.

"You're not asking, I'm offering. Anyway, the longer you leave it the worse its going to get, you know that's the truth."

"But…"

"Harry, you're terrified that he's going to hate you, you have been for years. He won't, I promise you that. And you're not exactly known for your tact." Harry sighed and she took that as confirmation. So she got up and went through to the living room. "Jamie, time for bed," she said.

"But mum!"

"Now," she said firmly, but still smiling. Jamie turned and looked at her giving her his most Harry-like pout. "Bed." Ruth switched the TV off as Jamie clambered up the stairs, knowing when the battle was lost. Ruth looked in on Harry who had his fists clenched and eyes tightly closed as if the world was about to end. She went upstairs and by the time Jamie was under the covers she had a feeling Harry was listening in at the open door.

"Jamie, I've got to talk to you about something," Ruth said perching on the bed. Jamie moved to sit up, feeling very important that he was worthy of a discussion from Ruth. "I know you've overheard people calling me your stepmother, yes?"

Jamie nodded. "I don't know what that means really," he said. "Cinderella's stepmother was evil, but you aren't." He said this like it was obvious and Ruth allowed herself a smile.

"It means that I'm not your mum," Ruth said sadly.

"Oh," Jamie said looking downcast and for one horrible moment Ruth thought he was going to cry. "So where is my mum?"

Ruth reached for the photo album they kept in Jamie's room and flicked to some pictures of Rose, handing the book to the little boy. "This is your mum."

"She's pretty," Jamie said quietly. "Where is she?"

"When you were a baby, your mum had an accident. I'm afraid she died. But I know for a fact that she is up in heaven looking down on you and making sure you are happy and healthy and a right little tyke." Ruth added with a smile.

"You think so?" Jamie asked.

"Oh, I know so," Ruth said firmly.

"Do you love daddy?" Jamie asked in that innocent childlike way he had.

"Very much," Ruth replied.

"Did mummy love daddy?" Ruth sighed but decided to make this story a bit more child friendly.

"Yes," she said. "I met your dad after your mum." A downright lie, but one with good intentions. "And your mum loved you more than anything. And I love you too." Jamie nodded trying to absorb all this new information.

"Can…"

"You can ask anything," she reassured him. "Its fine, I won't be upset or angry."

"Can I still call you mum?" he asked.

"If you'd like to," she said, hiding her elation. "You don't have to, but you can if you want."

"Well you're not a wicked stepmother, so it'll have to be mum won't it?" She smiled at this, feeling tears of joy well up inside her.

"Well goodnight my handsome man." She kissed his forehead and was about to leave when Jamie asked something else.

"Who's more handsome? Me or daddy?"

"Oh, you without question," Ruth replied making the boy smile.

* * *

><p>Ruth slid into bed and turned on her side, facing her husband. "You were great with him," Harry said seriously. "I wouldn't have had that much tact."<p>

"I know but I love you anyway," she said with a smile. "He doesn't hate either of us, and I know when he's older we'll have to tell him how she died, that she was shot, but it won't be too much of a shock. Or I don't think so. Not now."

"I love you." Harry said. "Thank you for everything." Her only response was a kiss which was broken by small padding feet.

"Mummy?"

"Hi Fi," Ruth said. "Bad dream?" Fi nodded. "Come here." The little girl wrapped herself in her mothers arms. "Just remember, whenever the monsters come to get you, me or your dad or your big brother will always protect you. Okay?"

"Yes," she said. Ruth kept her arms around the little girl until she had fallen asleep. Ruth carried her back into her bedroom, smiling at the lines of progressively bigger handprints on the wall. Jamie had unintentionally started a family tradition when he'd printed that on the wall when Ruth was pregnant. There was also a Catherine shaped hand and a Graham shaped one too. And a line of them in Jamie's room too, just in case he got jealous when he grew older.

Ruth put her daughter in bed and she shuffled slightly, a stream of dark hair over her face.

"Goodnight and sweet dreams."

"Night mummy."

* * *

><p><em>I did promise that no matter how long it took there would be a happy HR ending, so I hope this satisfies. There is one more chapter to come, just needs a final polish.<em>


	64. Chapter 64

James and Fiona Pearce walked into the graveyard on a wonderfully sunny and abnormally hot summer day. Fiona was pushing a pram with a tiny baby girl inside, one who had inherited her grandmothers blue eyes. Her grandmother that she'd never met. It was a year to the day since Ruth had died, Harry following less than two weeks later. For ten years before he died Harry had suffered from heart problems, always at risk of a heart attack but never actually having one. As soon as his wife died, Harry lost the will to live, everyone who knew him knew that. Their graves were next to each other in a pretty little graveyard and Jamie led the way. They stopped in front of them and Fiona lifted baby Harriet out of the pram and cuddled her as Jamie but a bunch of flowers on each grave.

"Hi mum," Fiona said. "There's someone else here to meet you. You have a brand new baby granddaughter."

"Our mother can't actually hear you," Jamie said holding his arms out to take the baby.

"Well, I'd like to think she can and that I haven't been wasting my time over the past year taking to a stone."

"Whatever you want," Jamie said rocking his niece and kissing her messy dark blonde hair. The three of them were silent in thought when Jamie decided to tell Fiona something that he never had before.

"She isn't my mother," Jamie said. "Ruth. She isn't my biological parent."

"How long have you known this!" Fiona asked completely thrown by this unexpected information. Harriet stiffened when she heard her mothers voice raised so she made an effort to speak calmly.

"I've known since I was a child," Jamie said. "When I was old enough to understand Ruth told me. They never hid it from me but it wasn't part of day to day conversation either. You were a self absorbed teenager by the time I moved out and went to uni. It never came up. She was the best mother I could have asked for, despite the fact we didn't share DNA."

"Is dad…?"

"Yes, he is my father," Jamie replied. "There was another woman before mum. Before Ruth I mean, and they ended up with me."

"What happened to her?" Fiona asked, intensely curious.

"She died when I was about six weeks old." Jamie now knew how she died but he wasn't going to share the gruesome details with his sister. Rose didn't mean anything to Fiona so he didn't want to share details about her. Fiona was silently thinking about this when another thought occurred to her.

"Is Ruth… I mean, am I… hers?"

"Yes," Jamie said, pleased he could give his sister this peace of mind. "She was wonderful. She always told me that I must remember that she still loved me, and that I was a very special boy. I loved her for that. She always gently reminded me that she considered herself my parent, without actually being one. Right up until I was about twenty."

"She was Ruth," Fiona said simply.

"Yeah she was," Jamie agreed. After a minute Fiona put Harriet back in her pram and was wheeling her away when Jamie stayed by the graves. He touched the cool stone of his fathers and then let his fingers trail across Ruth's name. "I love you both," he said quietly. Fiona turned when she realised her brother wasn't following her and saw him in profile standing by their parents. He caught up soon enough.

"I thought I was wasting my time talking to a stone," Fiona said with a teasing smile.

"Shut up and push your child," Jamie said as she laughed. The last thing that was said before they left the cemetery was from Jamie. "You know, Harriet looks a lot like her father. Its in her face. Apart from the eyes she's a mirror of Wes."

"Mm," Fiona agreed. "Going to have to persuade him to marry me now." The soon to be Mrs Carter laughed, not knowing that there was an engagement ring with her name on it waiting for her at home as they left their parents to their well deserved rest.

* * *

><p><strong>THE <strong>**END **

(I mean it this time)


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